Not A Man

So, now, the NFL is contrite about domestic violence. In the wake of the not-so-shocking revelations that some professional athletes have abused the women in their lives, now the media, the beloved media that swoops in like vultures smelling blood, is crying holy hell about this very real and dangerous issue. Apparently, the years of sweeping the evidence under the carpet about these so called ''men'' and their abuse because it made bad copy to report, is now front and center. And, the mega-powerful NFL, which also has its hands dirty in covering this up, now feels it must bow its head and do the public penance...... Ray Rice beat up his fiancée, at the time, in an elevator. This abuse happened last February. Which means, the NFL was aware of it last February. Nothing a professional athlete does in any sport is not unknown by the league the player is in. There are spies among the team that report to that team's owner and also to the honchos in charge. The media follows these most public of figures very closely. And, the fact we live in an age of instant contact thru the Internet and cell phone pictures, makes an athlete even more open to disclosure. The footage from that elevator scene is shocking. Rice beat up his fiancée, plain and simple. Now, right away, since it happened in a hotel elevator, the hotel knew instantly. She was battered in plain sight. There is the constant security monitoring of all spaces in a hotel, save the privacy of a room [which, there are stories about]........ Rice and his fiancée seem to make up very quickly from this exchange. In fact, the couple decides to forget the whole thing and get hitched soon after. No doubt this is because of finding ones ultimate love in life and forgiving the fact that your lover beat the shit out of you. My guess is the fiancée also remembered the large paycheck that is deposited every once in a while into the bank account. So, while rumors swirled for a few months, Ray Rice continued to live carefree of his actions...... Now, you have greed involved in the next part. Not a belief in punishing the abuser, but, plain old human greed. Someone, probably from the hotel, leaked the footage to TMZ, the vile entertainment watchdog. Harvey Levin, who runs this operation with all of the ethics of the Catholic Church, knows a juicy story when he slithers around in its muck. And, Rice, while not superstar level in terms of fame and ability, does play for America's favorite Sunday afternoon TV show, the NFL. Levin shows the video and outrage comes of it. Suddenly, this ''minor'' incident blows up in the face of the National Football League. Roger Goodall, the commissioner for the league, at first, denied any knowledge of the league hearing of the video. He was as shocked as everybody else, you see. Had he known earlier he would have taken appropriate action against Rice. But, the evidence of him knowing soon leaked out. The spies in the NFL knew. The lawyer for Rice also had a copy of the tape. For the NFL not to be aware of this footage, while TMZ was, is not believable. Clearly, they knew. But, they decided to take a page from Penn State and their horrible scandal a few years ago, and, sweep it under the rug...... No sooner than this sordid tale unspun then came another, equally shocking case of abuse. Adrian Peterson, one of the best players in the league, was suspended for child abuse. In Texas!!! At first, this ''man'' said he was giving his little boy a good old-fashioned spanking. With a small tree branch. Like the Rice case, the real story soon came out. He beat the little boy so severely that there was blood on the boy. Open wounds. And, today, a new revelation has come forward about Peterson saying he may have abused another child of his--- from a different mother---- by banging his head against a car. Peterson was suspended for a game and now is unsuspended, as I write this. My guess is he will get more suspensions, or, possibly, be thrown out of the league as the case moves forward......... Athletes beating up women is nothing new. And, we should not be shocked that higher authorities feign ignorance and cover it up when it is necessary for their own selfish interests. Politicians and actors do it. Alec Baldwin is famous for using his fists on women, including ex-wife, Kim Basinger. And, Baldwin is also famous for the audio a few years ago of his yelling profanities at his daughter on her cell phone. Verbal abuse. And, what is the result of his actions? Why he is allowed to ply his trade in show business. In fact, Alec Baldwin has never been in more demand for his services. A hit TV show, countless appearances on ''Saturday Night Live'', and movies all came after he started to abuse women years ago. When his producers and agents are asked about how they can employ such a brute, they call on the time-honored feeling of forgiveness and absolution. Everybody makes a mistake and must be forgiven....... Well, not in my book. I believe many people do deserve a second chance and repent for their sins. But, not all people. There are some crimes that never must be forgiven or forgotten. Abuse of women and children is front and center as examples. ''Men'' who hit the weaker opponent are the true bullies in life. My God, little kids are afraid of thunder and lightening, or, of monsters under the bed, or, of being left alone in the dark. They are the most vulnerable in the world. They trust and belief. They love unconditionally and they fear the unknown unconditionally. And, for someone like Adrian Peterson to take the anger issues he has out on a child is beyond repulsive. Abuse comes in different forms, physical and mental. The child's wounds will heal physically, but, will they fully heal mentally?........ I have known several women who have been abused, again, both physically and mentally. The scars recede rather quickly on the body, but, not in the mind and soul. The mind spins many dark thoughts to the victim. Many women and children come to believe that they deserved this abuse, in some way. Their mind tells them that it is all their fault. Or, it is the price they must pay for staying with the ''man''. In the mind of the abused is the very real voice of guilt: ''I must be a terrible person and deserve this'' is the unforgiving and cruel thought of some from their unconsciousness. It all has to do with low self-esteem, which the abuser is a master at driving home. Of course, the abuser, the ''man'', is really taking out their own self-hatred on someone else because they cannot stomach the fact that the real problem is them. So, the women and children become--- and  I don't say this to be glib--- the ''punching bag''. They beat and humiliate their victims. And, all the while, a sad seed is planted in the mind of the poor victim: ''It is my fault'...... Another major problem of domestic abuse is the seemingly automatic solution by many to seek ''counseling''. They get some charlatan, hiding behind a diploma, to tell them their problems and what a solution must be. Family therapy........ PEOPLE, IN ADDITION TO KNOWING MANY ABUSED WOMEN AND CHILDREN, I HAVE ALSO KNOWN THOSE PEOPLE THAT DEAL WITH THIS PROBLEM. THEY ARE THE DOMESTIC ABUSE EXPERTS WHO ARE THERE FOR THE VICTIMS. AND, THEY ARE OF THE UNIVERSAL, FIRM BELIEF THAT THE VERY LAST THING A FAMILY OR COUPLE SHOULD DO IS GO TO COUNSELING!!! THEY ADVISE IMMEDIATE WITHDRAWAL FROM THE ABUSIVE PARTY!!! GET AWAY!!!..... Sometimes, though, you cannot. A young child cannot run away. It is up to some adult to rescue the victim, either by taking away the child or reporting this son of a bitch to the proper authorities. And, the woman must be strong enough, despite her fear of the unknown, to walk away. This applies to all women, be they famously rich or barely scrapping by. The abuser only gets stronger by constant contact with the victims....... I write this, not only because of Rice and Peterson, but also, remembering a woman I knew years ago. She was a friend of a friend and lived with an alcoholic husband. He regularly beat her, sometimes when he had been drinking, sometimes, because he was stone sober and felt like it. A true monster this ''man''. Despite repeated efforts by those around her, the wife stayed with her husband, hoping to change him. But, the true story was that she was afraid to be by herself. It is understandable. She relied on him, regardless on how he so abused her. The beatings got more frequent. The police were called on occasion but they were powerless to do anything because she refused to press any charges. So she stayed......... One night, high on coke and booze, the husband beat her to death with his bare hands. No other way to term it. He killed her with his own two hands. Then, he put the end of a shotgun in his mouth and blew away the side of his head. When the police found the couple a few days later, they found a note from the husband. Hastily scribbled after he murdered his wife. The note said he could not take his life any more. It was a complete horror show. This, he blamed on his wife........