Twerking

I have never tried twerking. I want to. As God as my witness, from the strongest regions in my soul, I want to twerk. I need to twerk. Something in my life is amiss and I believe it is the lack of twerking. Maybe, just, maybe, my time will come...... Sticking your ass up in the air in a sexual way is as old as life itself. It started in the caveman days, when the madame cavewoman--- and, sometimes, her mother and father--- would bend over and a stray caveman, or, a rogue dinosaur, would see an opportunity and go to town. There was something about a lass starting up a fire by banging rocks together, with the added thrill of the drumbeat from the nearest prehistoric disco, that sent hearts afluttering and hormones raging. As humans developed, what we call twerking today evolved into more civilized forms of expression. Now, with the exception of a prison shower, sticking your bum into the air freely is part and parcel with dancing. Miley Cyrus has brought the old form into the new generation, while tagging it with a new name, the aforementioned twerking....... Music history has always flirted with the naughty and music. What was risque back when is old hat today. Elvis The Pelvis was denounced in schoolrooms and churches and town hall meetings for his suggestive moves onstage. He was swirling his hips [this was when he was lean and mean looking. In later years, the only thing he swirled was his rolls of fat] and drove the young girls crazy, because his moves always flirting on the outskirts of sexual invitation. It evoked stimulation with the girls, which in turn threatened their parents with the horrible thoughts that their little girl might want to get Elvis in the sack. But, with the retrospection of time, we see the old footage of Elvis and it looks quite tame and harmless. That is what happens with the passage of time. What was obscene back in the day is now a pleasant memory of a more innocent time. The Rolling Stones, who grabbed the baton from Presley in the 1960's when it came to making girls think dirty thoughts, now are revered by the very same establishment who wanted to lynch them at the time. The Doors, specifically, Jim Morrison, were charged with obscenity for their onstage antics. Had he lived, Morrison would probably be sitting at the Kennedy Center Honors next to the President. And, let us not forget the 1980's version of naughty dancing, Dirty Dancing. The movie will never be confused with great cinema and art. Patrick Swayze was no Brando. But, he did draw in the females with his body moves and sexual heat. This was quite talked about back in the day, for, like Elvis in his day, many public officials, who like to tell us what is good and decent for us, cried long and loud over these moves. My God, what a lesson for the youth, these dirty moves on the dance floor! How will we, as a society, ever go forward and hold our heads up to the world's scorn? Well, like the above moments of human outrage, Dirty Dancing became harmless and soon forgotten. Soon, another dirty dance came along--- I believe it was the Lambada [the ''forbidden dance'', you all] and societies knickers became twisted again with horror..... So, tie them all together and it leads to the chain of twerking and Miley Cyrus. This is, of course, the current dance, which means, it is not for you and me but the young. When us old hipsters starting shaking our tailfeather to the current dance, then it becomes old hat and the kids--- who always arbitrate on what is hot and hip for us--- have moved on to something else. The youth generation, which is the cradle of mass media, has always been one step ahead of the rest of society. Remember, when you were that age and older people started to act and say the things you were saying and doing? Yes, it felt wrong and you must stop doing it........ I do not foresee anyone older than a teenager or young adult twerking. If you do see them bent over and having their posterior in the upright position, two things may be occuring. 1. You may have interrupted an intimate moment about to occur. 2. The older person has fallen and cannot get up......... Why the outrage in some quarters? Well, it gives the media starved pundits a chance to talk about something that everyone will respond to. When you bring out the heavy topics of gun control, the debt, and possible war coming soon, many people instantly tune out. They don't want to talk about what is really important. They would rather wait for something easy to grasp and to form an instant opinion on. That is why more people know Miley Cyrus and her theatrics than know how their Congressman voted on the health care bill. Money may be seeping out of our wallets and were are slowly going broke, but, Miley must command the attention of the population. This is both sad and understandable. It reeks of sadness because the important things in life must be paid attention to. But, where it is understandable is that we all get so inundated by all of the problems of the world-- both our own and what fate gives us around us-- that we do need some kind of diversion. Something in our brains says, ''I can't take reality anymore! I need something mindless to think about, like twerking and are the Hawks gonna repeat as champions?!''. That is why the pop culture is the most powerful culture in the world. Throw an idea out there, see if it sticks, and reap the benefits of what you have sewn. It is like starting a rumor around the office that is unimportant. It builds in momentum and steamrolls into a more interesting direction. By the time it hits its peak, the little rumor is now a major topic of conversation around the water cooler........ Truth be told, Miley Cyrus and her little fuss is just about ran its fifteen minutes of fame. Twerking, and the misguided youth heading towards the Devil's grasps, will soon depart, for we are about six months away from another youth explosion. But, as I have mentioned in a recent blog, attention must be paid to Ms. Cyrus and her way of living her life after all of the fuss has died down. This girl, who was packaged as an innocent teenager until that grew stale, now is the sexy tart gone wrong. This, too, will fade quickly and that is the time for the people around Miley who care about her, if there really are people who do genuinely care for her, to be there for her when her career crumbles. She doesn't have the goods or talent to go long-distance in the entertainment industry. She will flame out soon. I hope she has a strong support system there for her. If not, then she will just be another casuality in the long list of child stars who burn brightly for a short time, but, burn out just as fast. And, most of those early flameouts do not survive.......

Hangover Blues

Ok. I will whisper this in writing. I know that it hurts to even focus at moments like this. When you mention all of the unpleasant feeling you are experiencing now, well, I have been to the mountaintop myself a few thousand times. You have the nasty feeling all over you and you are brittle. Your mouth tastes like, well, its an sour taste to end a less hardy individual. You have the pounding head, the shakes, endless gallons of gas brewing out of you, and the awful feeling of what the hell did I do to myself last night? Yes, dear victim of fun, you have a hangover. Let me try to help you through it with sympathy and style...... First, let me laugh at your misfortune!! Ha-Ha!! Oh, my, I haven't laughed that hard in ages. I laughed because it is kinda perverse pleasure to see someone else suffer on that same road to body ruin that I have traveled way too much. It is a little bit of, ''Thank God it ain't me!'' syndrome. But, back to compassion. I really do feel for you. I know the agony that a previous night's debauch can do to you. And, because I am a deeply feeling human being I offer you nothing but the best wishes of a speedy recovery..... Hangovers are a tricky thing to analyze. Sure, there is the standard medical explanation of why your body is suffering. Something about dehydration and internal abuse to certain organs. Fine, let the doctors play with their diagnosis. You do not want why you are feeling in the sewer explained to you, just how to pull yourself out and begin to see life again clearly. And, hangovers, goddamn them, like to fuck with you. They sneak around the corner like an stalker, awaiting the time to swoop in and bring you to your knees. I have had many nights---many nights--- on the sauce and I still can't figure out the next day's reaction my body will greet me with. Sometimes, I have drank gallons of booze, both hard liquor and beer, and, the next day I feel pretty good. At other times, I have had just a couple of beers before retiring and, BAM!, the next morning I feel like Sonny Corleone lying by the toll booth after the Barzini Family has ambushed him. Most hangovers do occur, though, because you have tied one on last night and your body decides that overabundance, while pleasurable at the time, will come back to haunt you badly the next day. And, you have that notion going through your head, even as you are trying to outdrink the country of Germany. Still, you do not pay much heed to this foolish and fast-leaving thought. Hell, I will stumble across that road when I come to it. I usually remember that thought in the morning when I am praying to God to deliver me from the pain........ My first hangover, I believe, came when I was in junior high. Myself and some other daring rascals got drunk on beer at a buddy of mine's house. His Dad had some beer in the basement. One Saturday afternnon, we junior Reservoir Dogs decided to pop open some cans and act like the big boys. Now, I come from a family of non-drinkers. My parents would hardly ever touch alcohol, usually at a restaurant, and, then never more than one or two drinks. My sister is not an imbiber, but, my brother was. So, the idea of me drinking kinda left me a little bit of an oddball in the family unit [ a role I have demonstrated, in various degrees, time and time again]. That day with my friends I'm sure we did not drink more than a couple of beers each, but, with no tolerance and still being too young for our bodies to handle it, I was sick as a dog that evening. I went home and, thank goodness, my family did not pick up on anything strange. But, I was throwing up the rest of the night. You would think, with this early experience, it would have turned me off of drinking. They say God protects drunks and fools. Well, I was drunk, but, too foolish to learn my lesson....... And, as I became an adult and went out into the real world of drinking, the hangovers went hand in hand with the good times. Once more, there were times when I drank a lot and nothing the next day. Then, the opposite would happen. For there is no proven cure of a hangover, despite what people may tell you, the only thing you can realistically do is just wait it out and let your body punish you for your foolishness. And, once the body is done, you can be sure that you will have the significent other person in your life to add to the misery. The one thing that causes real hate in any drinker is someone rubbing it in your face what a fool you are to do this to yourself. It could be a Mother, wife, girlfriend, or a judge, if you have been really naughty. The ''I told you not to drink so much'' school is not what you want to hear at that moment [or, ever, for that matter]. Just leave me alone, my dear love of my life, because if you don't, I will have to kill you after I'm doing with vomiting...... While you are waiting for your body to recover, there are some things you can do to alleviate your suffering. Fast food helps. Greasy food really does help your system because it tastes good, and, it will help your body cleanse itself faster by rushing through your system, if you know what I mean. For God's sake, do not exercise!! This is a terrible rash decision. I want you to live through this, not try to sweat it out of you. It is bad for your blood pressure and your system. And, what the fuck, are you a sadist or something? What kind of moron wants to exercise when you really feel like you need a priest to perform the last rites? I knew a guy once, who, when he was hungover, would go out and run six miles. He claimed he never felt better after the run. He did it every time he was hungover. I believe he has been dead now a good sixteen years....... The obvious thing to do, if you never want a hangover, is to either not drink, or, drink in moderation. I've tried both and it is not for me. I like drinking [ there was an old-time comedian, Joe E. Leonard, who said, ''I feel bad for people who do not drink because when they get up in the morning that is gonna be the best they feel all day!'']. Drinking has always been a fun activity for me, never a necessity. I drink for the social aspect of drinking, not because I am hiding deep pain or an addiction. And, truth be told, I do drink in moderation nowadays. In my younger days, well, there are many stories people have about me in an alternate state of being. But, rare is the time when I get hammered now, maybe, a couple of times a week, ah, year. Mostly, that has to do with age and your body not being able to handle the abuse anymore. I don't miss the wild times of going crazy. There was a time when I could go out and do the streets in the town very well--- and, bring the streets back with me if I wanted to--- but, now, it is a fond memory....... If you are hungover now and still reading this, well, good for you. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make the suffering go away. It will, just give it time. I hope you earned this feeling. I hope you had the time of times last night!!! Sit back, relax, grab some much needed sleep, with Excedrin migraine aspirin, and let your body play itself out....... By the way, if you are hungover now, why the fuck are you reading this blog?!!! Go lie down!!!!..........

Random Thought: September 2013

Forgive me. Are we going to bomb Syria or not. I have lost track the last few weeks finding the answer in the news. Which, the slight cynic that I can be at times, I find very interesting. President Obama seemed all worked up in a lather about this the last few months. The last few months of summer, by the way. That is usually the time [ like Friday evenings, late] when politicians like to slip something past the people and the media with as little attention as necessary. Why? Because it will be unpopular and, possibly, devious in nature. That is why I am cynical about the Syria story. Is this made up--- ala, the movie ''Wag The Dog''--- to divert another issue from drawing attention? Or, is this a legit story that we should be alarmed about? It seems, from the Gospel According To Obama, that the Syrian people are being gassed by their dictator President and his ruthless henchmen. Well, haven't we heard this story before about weapons of mass destruction being used to ''control'' the people with ''extreme prejudice?'' Of course, we have. It was the neighbor to the east of Syria, that ole rabble-rouser and former U.S. puppet Saddam Hussain and his playtoy country called Iraq. Remember, that long-ago war of 2003 that was gonna free the people of Iraq because they were being poisoned [ among many atrocities] by this tyrant? Yes, we are starting to have rerun wars now every couple of years. Same reasons, but, new players on the world chessboard. Meet the new boss, same as the old boss. Now, it seems the rush to war is slowly down somewhat [ which is good] and other avenues of direction are being explored to stop more violence from happening. The irony in all of this is that the Syrian people, like the Iraqi people before them, are genuinely in the clutches of a murdering monster who has no hesitation to play God with lives. People do forgot that Hussain DID have weapons of mass destruction at one time, and, used them freely. The same seems to be happening in Syria. But, because of the bungling of the last war, it is hard to believe if what is happening is in fact happening for real. Are we being played again for political power, mixed, as always, with Big Business? I don't know anymore which way to believe when it comes to government action. However, I do know one thing for sure. I am getting sick and tired of this country being the police force for the world, especially, in that part of the world. We have learned, long and hard, that these people in the Middle East are too irrational for us rational to have any dealings with. I said long ago that we should begin to extract ourselves financially from this area because it is out of control in terms of violence and human decency. But, we are still there, buried deep as ever, in the affairs of barbaric and unstable people........ While we play war games, the media, that bastion of public taste, looks for other areas to divert us. On the show business front, the big story for a few weeks now is Miley Cyrus. She is, for those that don't know, the daughter of ''Achy Breaky'' guy Billy Ray Cyrus, and the star of the kids show ''Hannah Montana''. The fact that Billy Ray was allowed to reproduce is a debate for later, when the topic of cousins having sex with each other is being discussed. Now, being of middle-age and having no kids, I could not tell you anything about when she was ''Hannah Montana''. I know nothing of fictional characters named ''Montana'' unless it is ''Tony Montana'' from ''Scarface''. Still, every generation has its young stars and Miley, all sweetness and cuddles, enjoyed her fifteen minutes of fame until her fans had grown up and dropped her. But, now, unlike in previous generations when child stars faded away, Miley has reinvented herself. Like Britney Spears in the early 2000's [ around the Iraq war, see it all ties in] when the ''good girl'' persona runs out of juice, then, you start the juices going in another direction with the ''sexy look''. Ms. Cyrus now is all gussied up and being the tart!! Well, in defense of her, she is now an adult and can do anything she damn well pleases. However, there is a marketing ploy being played here. It is all for show, at least when it comes to her career. Willingly shifting gears to jumpstart a morbid career, she does what many have done before. She is now ''shocking'' and ''obscene''. If you saw her recent performance at the ''MTV Awards'', beside her future felony crime hip-hop performers, she did what any smart manager and publicist advised her to do: she got tongues wagging and people interested. Sex, as we know, sells big time, especially, in the hormone driven teenagers that she covets. So, the fact she is still being talked about is a testament to her management and career advisors. And, to Miley Cyrus. She is too young, of course, to see what damage this will do to her long-term. She is the hot topic now, but, she has limited talent and will be off the world's stage soon. Look for a drug habit and Lindsay Lohan-type of behavior coming soon....... I have always hated when parents push kids out front on a stage and showcase them. Usually, the kid is forced to exorcise the broken dreams of stardom that the parents failed to achieve. Show business is filled with the child stars being manufactured and hustled by a money-making machine. For every Ron Howard, who seemed to have normal parents and is a normal person, there are the stories of abuse and drug addiction for the kids when the limelight goes dark. Picture a child star around ten years old. The world, which they know nothing about, revolves around them and they are front and center, being lavished with gifts and anything the heart desires. They are pampered and adored. They are spoiled and their actions are excused. The reason is the money is swirling straight from the kid talent. As long as the cash flows smoothly, all is well with the youngster. The public's tastes, however, remain fickle and short-termed. For every bright light of talent, there is another kid waiting in the wings. And, unless the kid star is supremely centered [ usually, watched over with love by caring parents] then the house of cards will fall very quickly for the kid. The spotlight shifts to the Next Big Thing. The public forgets because it is told to forget. The kid slides down from the unreal world of show-business to the harsh real world of life. That is when we here the stories of bad public behavior, also hand and hand with the kid discovering that the money they are earned is nowhere to be found. From the ''Little Rascals'' to Gary Coleman to the Brat Pack and Ms. Lohan, the cruel machinations of exploited children has many examples. It seems to me to force--- and, most kids are forced by someone to be showing off to the public--- someone out there to be groomed for stardom, is a form of child abuse. The child doesn't understand and is, therefore, a victim. Sure, there may be success stories and quality entertainment the kid provides. But, whenever I see a kid now who is drawing a lot of attention, I cringe a little and pray that this kid will survive the onslaught. Some do and end up on the stage as an adult winning an Oscar. Most don't make that stage. They make the morgue...... And, finally, on a lighter note. We have the Bears starting out the season 2-0. The two games they have won have been quite exciting to watch. The last game against the Vikings had one dramatic ending!!! Jay Cutler, whom I still defend as a player and not as a human being, rebounded from a potentially embarrassing fiasco to lead the team to a thrilling victory in the closing minutes. I was at Buffalo Wild Wings with some dear family members and the place erupted in jubilation when the final pass from Cutler scored a TD. That game, and its ending, is the reason I love football so fiercely. It is three hours of on-the-edge-of-your-seat thrills. This town seems to divide its worship when it comes to the Cubs and the other team whose name I can never remember. The Hawks have gained a wide audience the last few years, mainly, because they are winning and the bandwagon jumpers go along for the ride. That is fine, you might as well become a fan of a team and sport when they are winning. But, hockey still is not the all-dominant sport that football is. People watch the Bears, but, also watch other games happening and become fantasy football experts. The sport crosses all ethnic groups and ages and both sexes, which is always a welcome thing. Football has become ''America's Game'', replacing baseball long-ago. You prepare your week for the game, what with planning social occasions and food and drinks to enjoy while the game is on. Everybody is a football fan, and, everybody in Chicago embraces the Bears. Fall has only one drawback: it is the opening act for that dark time known as winter. But, fall also has the best of charms to it. And, the biggest is the three hours every Sunday in that grand old stadium by the lake. Go Bears!!!!!!

Great Movie: ''Chinatown''

For some reason, mystery movies seem to put some people off. Maybe, it is the stigma of the warning. It is a ''mystery'', which means that for a good chunk of the movie you will not know what the hell is going on. Today's audience, so trained to take things in a quick bite of attention, needs to be let in on the secret of all great mysteries: it is ok to not know what is happening and why. Confusion is part of the fun. When the confusion recedes, then the mind enjoys the solving of the riddle. That is what is at heart in all great mysteries. And, that is ''Chinatown''....... The great Jack Nicholson has been telling Hollywood that he has retired from acting. At 76, Jack is having memory issues, therebye, dimming the very memory skills that acting requires. This is to be expected in all of us as we age, but, Jack Nicholson always seemed to be in a winning race with Father Time. Sure, his face is well-worn. The years of fast-living and multitudes of late-nights are all over his soul. But, Jack [ and, we all call him that] has run life on his own terms, without deferring to anyone. The fact he is hampered by age makes him just like us:mortal. He will always have the market on cool. Some people have it flowing from them without the slightest effort. Jack has always seemed like that guy you knew in high school. You know, the one who had all of the angles covered. He was one step ahead in knowledge and experience. You followed Jack's lead and felt comfortable in his presence. I'm sure he is, in many ways, not the image in real-life that he projects in reel-life. It doesn't matter, though. He is what we think he is and that is at the heart of why he has been so welcomed in our movie watching life for all of the years. We identify with him on-screen. We feel his anger, frustration, lust, and a sense of that the world just needs to lie back and have a good time. He is the Ultimate Rascal. Many of his screen performances celebrate his lifestyle, that of a free-swinging bachelor. But, in the 1970's, his prime time for acting, he flourished in many roles that he disappeared in. The highlight was his extraordinary work in ''Chinatown''......... Robert Towne wrote the screenplay for his pal Nicholson in 1971. They were old friends, going back to the acting classes they took together in the early 1960's. Towne was no actor, but, one hell of a writer, who promised his buddy that if they ever hit the big-time in Hollywood,  he, Towne, would write the ultimate role for his buddy, Jack. Soon, this pipedream became a reality. Towne distinguished himself by ''script doctoring'' ''Bonnie And Clyde'' and a crucial scene in ''The Godfather''  [the scene where Brando and Pacino talk in the garden]. Jack broke through with ''Easy Rider'' and followed up with ''Five Easy Pieces'' and ''Carnal Knowledge''. He was a cult actor, just about to explode into superstardom, if only he could find the right vehicle. Robert Towne had it. It was a complex mystery in the old Bogart way. A shamus private investigator, known for adultery cases, stumbles into a case that ultimately shocks his soul and forever changes his life. Towne also brought into the main story the old-forgotten real-life tale of how Los Angeles got its water supply. It involved murder, deception, bribery, and the loss of innocence. Combining the water story with the story of infidelity brought this movie to another level. And, Towne fashioned the private eye named Jake Gittes after Jack Nicholson. Gittes is a bit of a dandy, with clothes, women, and using language for his own personal power. Jake Gittes was the rock and roll version of Humphrey Bogart. The story of ''Chinatown'' is set in 1937, but, the movie was finally made in 1974. That year corruption ran rampant with Watergate and the lies and disclosures of our government. ''Chinatown'' straddled the old feeling of the mystery with the new-age feeling of cynicism. Both elements made the story of Jake Gittes soar....... I will not tell too much of the story for those who have never seen it. Any movie of value should always keep its secrets. And, in a mystery, it is the paramount thing to stick to. But, a few things can be spoken about the story that will not ruin the narrative. Jake Gittes is visited in his office by a mysterious woman who has a problem with a cheating husband. This husband is no average man. He is a man in the deepest regions of power in Los Angeles. His name is Hollis Mulwray and he is the head of the Water and Power Department for the city. Gittes, who usually works the nickle and dime cases of wandering spouses, is instantly alert to the possibilities of taking on the case of a high-profile public figure. He sees the money, yes, but he also sees the danger. At first, he tries to talk the woman out of investigating her husband. ''Let sleeping dogs lie'', is his advice. But, the woman does not want to let the dog of a husband off. She wants proof of the affair and is prepared to pay handsomely for the results. Gittes agrees, and starts doing his job, which is following the husband as he trails from one end of Los Angeles to another. He gets some pictures, but, they don't add up. Nothing of the husband, Mulwray, with any loose skirt. Instead, he has pictures of Mulwray with powerful men. It isn't until one of Jake's assistants calls excitedly with the news that he has the old man in a love nest with a young girl that Gittes gets the pictures and results he wants. He turns the incriminating evidence over to the shamed wife, and..... well, the story gets into the real plot soon after. The story is well-told. Never are we bored [ maybe, a little confused, but, remember, that is ok in a mystery] and all the pieces all fall together as the story goes forth. We, the audience, learn all of the facts as Gittes does. And, we are as stunned and shaken as he is........ The acting is superb from head to toe. Faye Dunaway is properly mysterious. The legendary director, John Huston, is expertly all-powerful in his role as the lord of the city. And, the direction from Roman Polanski is outstanding in every way. All of them royally chew on the dialogue and plot points that screenwriter Towne has designed. But, everyone is blown out of the water by Nicholson. He is in every scene. He guides us through the mystery, always alert to more than meets the eye. And, he has the added benefit of reciting the fine lines of observations that Towne throws his way. Jack displays it all in the role: charm, confusion, wit, leering, anger, frustration, and sadness. They mix together in the finest performance of his career  in a career of fine performances...... I want to tell you so much more about this movie for those who have never had the pleasure of seeing it. But, I must play fair. It is worth the two hours out of your life to watch it. To recommend a movie, you have to concede some plot moments in order to sell the movie to your friends. I can't do that here. You must go on my word  [and, film scholars and critics, who routinely rate this movie as one of the finest in motion picture history]. This film will not let you down........ So, now, we are at the end of Jack Nicholson giving us his movie magic. As a dedicated fan, I selfishly want more. I want Jack to continue to brighten the screens of movieland forever. But, he deserves his rest and retirement. He earned it in spades. And, I, and every moviegoer, owe him a giant thank you for the countless hours of taking us away from our problems in life for a little diversion from the flicks. Jack led us from one memorable character and film to another. His work is in the popular culture forever. He will never be forgotton by those who always appreciate quality work. Jack is timeless, like a fine wine. Maybe, in the near future, he will give another movie a shot of his special brand of taste and quality. Until then, we have our movie memories of him that will always be a part of us. Thank you, Jack!!!!......... Something tells me that Jack will not go gently into the goodnight. He will still be at the Oscars, front and center, as he should be. He will be making the rounds at Hollywood and social parties, with his shades on and a shit-eating grin on his face. And, when the sad day does appear when he passes on, I would not be surprised of him going out in bed, after enjoying two young ladies, while a burning joint is in his hand.....He will be smiling that famous Jack smile........