The Walk

And, so we walked. The beautiful weather was our friend- there is something wonderful that nice weather does to your system. When the weather cooperates, then all is possible. It wasn't that much of a burden, the walk. I joke around a lot , but, the three miles was very doable. I had my sister by me and my cousin Joe. Together, we all joined family arms to pay a little tribute to Brother Tommy.... My cousin Joe Bersani is a guy you want in your life. Smart, strong [ both physically and emotionally ] with the twisted sense of humor that flows from both sides of the family. Joe will always be there for you, it is in his DNA. All my cousins and their spouses and children possess this trait. As does my sister Lisa and I. We all come from good genes, so, being there for each other is part of our souls, just like breathing in and out. Joe was representing that side of our family. There was a family engagement party that kept more of the family from showing up. Make no mistake, these people are as strong a support system as there ever has been. Countless times they are there. When you walk through life with family-- and, a few good friends--- beside you, NOTHING else matters. They are the core of the spirit of life.... This spirit was hovering around us in the walk. Lisa came across this event a few years ago, but, circumstances only allowed us to join the movement this year. Lisa told me about it a couple of months ago with a little hesitation on her part. She knows how I am about many charities. I have an old friend who had a nasty run in with the Salvation Army years ago. The stories I heard about their dealings-- along with post 9/11 stories about where the victims families money went--- has left a bitter taste in my mouth. But, what made this particular organization attractive to me was that no money was to be exchanged if you didn't want it to. The walk was free, beverages and momentos were also on the house. You can donate if you feel like it. We did.... Lisa and I drove to Libertyville early Saturday morning. The location was a beautiful park, with the extraordianry beauty of a lake and footpaths as its layout. We got there early and noticed that the street that the park was on is called Des Plaines Ln. Being that this is our hometown name it was a nice omen if you look for signs like this [ and, I do ]. Already, many hundreds of people were gathered. Many teams had multilple members, and, right away, both Lisa and I made the joint decision that if this goes well, then next year we will have a big team. Lisa and I were dressed for the walk comfortably. We noticed that most of the walkers--- now, these are survivors of suicide victims, remember--- had the names and pictures of their loved ones on their shirts. This was the saddest and most sobering moments of this event. Our brother killed himself at 33, a young age, to be sure, but, he did live many great and happy moments in that short time. The pictures and ages we saw on these peoples shirts brought us to our knees. Children. Teenages. Adults. Lisa saw a shirt of a mature woman who must have had her husband on it. This woman was crying for him. My sister and I had tears in out eyes for these people. Especially, for the children. One shirt I saw was a child that had to be no older than ten years old. How and why the victims did what they did, of course, I do not know. They all have their stories, and, until they openly tell their heartbreak, then it remains private, as it should be.... We registered and then waited for our cousin. Walking around the tents and tables we came across two tables that we stopped at. One was a table of rememberance beads. They were different colors, each one representing your relation to whom you were there to honor. Our color was orange for a sibling. We got blue for Joe because he was a cousin. Then we stopped at a table with small rocks. Lisa wrote a little message on the rock for Tommy. It was expressing our love to him and how we missed him. The beads went around our necks and the rock went in the pocket, to be thrown at a later time.... Joe joined us and we hugged and kissed. My family is a combination of Irish, Italian, German, and French, so, you know that there is a lot of passionate expression of love when we all meet. After Joe checked in, we walked a little about the park waiting for the official start. With family comes the familiar stories of our history. We talked about our departed parents and how proud we were that we were so lucky to come from them. We talked about the craziness that joined our mothers, who were sisters, at the hip. And, the sweet goodness that came from them and our fathers. Tommy and his exploits were mentioned. Many families would tiptoe around the sensitive issue of his death. Not my family, we address the elephant in the room. It has been seventeen years since that horrible day, but, as in all deaths that touch the heart, somehow, it still feels very recent.... We were getting a little antsy. The start time seemed to take forever. I guess other people felt the same because a group of, maybe, twelve, just took a path and started walking. The three of us followed. As we started, I looked up and said, ''This is for you, Tommy!!''' Soon, I looked back and, by now, it seemed a good thousand people or more were joining us. We continued to talk among the three of us about this and that, but, I also detached myself a little in my mind. I was thinking about Tommy. I had this image of him in Heaven looking down. I felt him smiling that wonderful smile of his. The weather was perfect, but, I felt the warmth coming directly from him. That warmth and smile was a nice feeling, a comfort. I also smiled internally myself because I know he was laughing that his little brother was sweating for him [ we fought a lot through the years ]. I silently, and, with good humor, answered him. My answer was, ''You got me exercising for you, you son of a bitch!!!'''..... The walk was nearly over when we stopped at a bridge. We only had a short distance to go, but, it was time to throw the rock. Lisa gave it to me and I tossed. Not the best throw in the world, I grant you. I always had a weak throwing arm. My cousin teased me, ''You know, Jimmy, Tommy would have tossed that across the lake!!!''' We laughed and stood silent for a moment and watched the ripples from the rock hitting the water. The ripples expanded, as they always do, until it filled an area. I thought, somehow, the ripples were touching Tom somewhere. They were sending our love to him. Then, we turned and finished the walk.... When it was over we felt good. No major achievement had been accomplished. Just a little walk for our lost brother and cousin. He would have done the same for us, I know. We took Joe to lunch to celebrate and to say thank you. The talk at the table turned to familiar everyday life stories. It shows again how life goes on. You honor and remember and shed a tear or two, but, you go on. We are survivors in my family, I am proud to say. We go on.... And, my brother, after he watched us do the walk with love, strolled to the plate in whatever baseball game he was playing in Heaven. My parents were in the stands watching him, along with my beloved Aunt Gloria and Uncle Joe..... And, I know Tommy hit a homer.....

My Fellow Americans

'' I, James Patrick Scoleri, so christened, do solemnly swear, that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States. And, will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States, so help me God''.... '' Thank, thank you very much. I first want to thank all of you for coming here for this special day for myself and my family. On behalf of my wives, Faith Hill and Megan Fox, and, all of our adopted children from the Playboy Mansion, let me express all of our joy at this historic occasion. I would also like to thank Vice-President, Steven Tyler, for the song he sang. Many thanks also go out to the Chief Justice, Charles Manson, for the swearing in, and, the blood stains. I also would like to thank my agent and all the little people---- you know who you are--- and, for some reason, Wayne Newton.... I come here to you all with all the joy in my heart, and a blistering hangover from last nights party at Charlie Sheen's. I speak with you here today to talk about our grand plans for this administration. Now normally, I will not give public speeches with no pants on a regular basis, but, I thought, as a symbol of freedom of expression, I would let it all hang out. Many of you have asked me during my campaign what my platform will be if elected. Will I be able to bring to bring both parties together? Will the precarious situation in the world lead us into another war? Will I stop wearing nightgowns in the Oval Office? All of these questions, frankly, annoyed me. Leave me alone people!! All of these promises that I  have made to you I have long forgotten since I became Prseident and I am sober. Let me speak to the fairer sex, the womanfolk. As THE MOST POWERFUL MAN ON EARTH, I look forward to many late nights of bonding with you through intimate encounters. I pledge to give the basic thrust of my soul to your eager souls. As President, I pledge repeated interaction for many hours. I look forward to deeply satisfying each and every one of you.... To the men, just buy me a beer..... To our enemies abroad, I pledge enormous amount of respect to you fuckers, - ah, misguided, rogue nations. The United States will always defend our allies around the world--- when we feel like it. To challenge us and our abilities would really be a shithead decision on your part. Just try to mess with us, you young punks!!!You will go down faster than a Kardashian daughter at the NBA Finals!! You will never beat us at a war, so, just give up and give us all your money. And, the post office to send your money to is, 'President James Patrick Scoleri, THE MOST POWERFUL MAN ON EARTH, P.O. Box 5882300, Cayman Islands'. This is your warning. Don't let my clown makeup fool you!!!.... I am sorry to get my dander up, my fellow Americans. We are at a most crucial time. The second half of the Bears game starts soon!!! As an Independent candidate I ran across many moments of trials and tribulations criss crossing our country for this worthless job. Boy, there are a lot of ugly and stupid people out there!!!! How you idiots pee successfully has to strain all your intelligence. If you are lazy--as, many are-- then I am here to tell you my government will not support you at all. Therefore, I suggest you just die and leave the rest of us alone. Go ahead. Do it. We will clean up the mess--- actually, I will call the maintenance people we have working illegally in the White House to do that. But, please, all of you people who text while you drive, all of you people who search the pockets and purses in the grocery store for the change they never seem to find [ holding the rest of us hostage in line], you Packer fans, people who are mimes-- just go ahead and put the shotgun in your mouth.... That said, I would like to talk about my compassion for people. All of you know, some by showering with me, just how much I enjoy helping people in need. No other President can compete with my love of humanity.  Perhaps, many of you remember my Great American Sleepover at the Nymphomaniacs Convention. The spirit of love was in the air that day, along with many diseases. We must all do out part for the government--- more to the point, you must dedicate your lives to me and my needs. I should be your first thought in the morning, and, last thought at night. This is what the heart of my Presidential agenda will be. Yeah, that sound right!!! I hope that you can all, as the kids say, ''dig it''....  As you also know, dancing is my primary love. My swing contests with Rosie O'Donnell and Rose Marie have become the stuff of legends. I will dance until I die.... Which brings me to if I die in office. Now, don't go all grasping in horror now!!! I see several people have fainted just hearing that. Or, maybe, it is the gas that Michelle Obama is expelling. If I should die in office, say attending to foreign, ah, affairs, then I want my funeral to be royal. I want a white horse following my coffin. I want the visiting Heads of State to line the streets. I want a little boy saluting my casket. I want the priest nowhere near that little boy. I want to be buried in Arlington National Cemetary surrounded by cheeseballs. I want the ''Hooters'' girls to carry my casket. I want John Travolta to not give me a massage. I want nuns to sing the theme from ''Shaft''. I want the Archbishop to deliver my eulogy speaking jive. This is, I believe, owed to me for being a public servant.... And, finally, I would like to address one more thing. I have no doubt of what you can do to make your life, and, others around you better. The goodness, which swims in all of us, is rarely released because of the shackles that are put on you by us, your leaders. Why would you believe me, when others have stood here, looked you directly in the eye, and, have told you all the biggest amount of bullshit imaginable. One is the same as the other, regardless of your political leanings. To be sure, there are a few differences, but, we all swim in the same cesspool of lies and deception. We are easily bought and paid for at the highest bid. We do not care for you and you all know it. Therefore, why should you believe me? Well, I would not if I was in your shoes. Any self-respecting individual would not choose politics as a career. I believe we all have some good intentions starting out, but, it is lost in a maze of corruption and selling your soul for the personal power that all politicians crave. So, I ask for your faith, It is a faith for human forgiveness and salvation. It is a faith not of religion, but, of human kindness and redemption. It is a faith we have all been taught as children, but, we slowly lose it as life marches on. However, it is still burning in all of our souls. This faith is the backbone of being a human being--- to find the better angels of our nature, as Lincoln once said. This core behavior, of human goodness and decency, is what gets us through the obstacles in life. And, I want this faith to get us through my new Presidency. I want us to all join hands and walk down that path of human salvation. No more violence. We have been cruel to each other for far too many years. Patience. Understanding. Love. We must accomplish this mission. Because without this mission of hope we have no hope. Let us join together from the darkness of despair to the light of love. Let us achieve the greatness that is at our fingertips. And, let us behave like we should, so, when we all get to the Pearly Gates, God can say to each and every one of us, ''Thank You''.... My fellow Americans, let us forget the mistakes of the past and embrace the new beginning.....''

Great Movie: ''Planes, Trains, And Automobiles''

It is a shame that they never made another movie together. Their energy and talent magically clicked in this film. They were such strong comedians that they were often overlooked as genuine serious dramatic actors. Comedians always get the short end of respect for their performing skills. It looks easy and natural, therefore, it doesn't require serious effort. But, Steve Martin and John Candy--- in his all too short life--- proved in ''Planes, Trains, and Automobiles'' that they could successfully walk that tightrope of comedy and pathos..... This film usually does not show up on any ''Great Movies'' list by so-called film scholars. Look at any of those lists--- which do not mean a thing because they are reflecting the author's opinion--- and, this film is missing from them all [ except for the great Roger Ebert ]. Again, it is the dismissal of comedy and comedians. A film about the Holocaust, or, any serious themed film, will get noticed first. Fine, it is a noteworthy subject to be seen by the filmgoer. However, comedy gets us through life. We have enough heartbreak and setbacks in our everyday life. Comedy is our vacation from reality for a few short hours. Comedians are our guide into this world. And, Martin and Candy sure guided us to Comedy Heaven... The film has a simple premise. A frantic businessman, played by Steve Martin, is trying to get home to his family in Chicago over the Thanksgiving weekend. In the course of his attempts to go home he comes across a friendly oaf of a traveling salesman who sells shower rings, played by John Candy. At first, they try to fly home, but, Chicago is being socked by a snowstorm, so, that makes flying impossible. They are stranded in various parts of the Midwest in various bizarre and hilarious circumstances. If you have never seen the film I will not play spoiler with the surprises, but, I will say my favorite scene involves a late night ride to a ''Psycho''-type hotel with some frightening, ghoulish people around there. All this madness, wonderfully created by writer-director John Hughes, fits into the gifted performing skills of Martin and Candy. That helps, because in comedy, if you do not have a believable scenario to put your actors in, then the movie can go off the rails into performing schtick that will ruin a movie. Robin Williams is guilty of this a lot. Many of his comedies seem to be an extension of his stand-up routines. But, Hughes and Martin and Candy are too smart to let this happen. Having people behaving normally in an abnormal situation is the key to comedy.... Behind the many laugh out loud moments comes an understanding of human behavior. For much of the movie, Martin is annoyed and bothered by this stranger. He cannot shake this person. Steve Martin's character is a man who doesn't want to meet strangers. He avoids intimacy outside his family. He is a closed shell, quite standoffish. That is why he growls to himself about the John Candy character. Candy brings energy and earnestness to the role of Del. Del is a good man who loves his wife and wants people to like him. Martin's role of Neal just wants to be left alone. That creates the sparks that fly between them. In the single best scene in the movie, about a third of the way through the movie, Martin unloads on Candy for his endless stories and talking. Why not have a point, Neal states, because it makes it so much more interesting for the listener. The speech, superbly played by both actors, starts out as mildly amusing, but, quickly, it turns down a dark path to cruelty. Martin really lets Candy have it putting him down. Even though there is some truth to what Martin is saying, our sympathy as an audience shifts to Candy. He suffers visibly during this speech, as the riot act is read to him. He is silent while Martin/ Neal cuts him up like cat food. The hurt and anguish on his face is heartbreaking. We feel for this man and his emotions. A less skilled comedian-- or, serious actor--- might have milked the moment. John Candy plays it just right. He just listens, but, we can read his feelings clearly. From this moment on, both Martin, and the audience, view this man's easily injured pride. He is vulnerable and we silently wish that Martin will not do this again to this meek lamb. John Candy has his finest screen moment during this scene. And, Steve Martin plays this scene just brilliantly also, because after his onslaught we realise he did not really mean to hurt him. He has just learned a lesson about a human he will not repeat. It would be very easy for the audience to turn off the character of Neal-- and Steve Martin playing him--- if Martin did not rescue the role in the following scene. It is the celebrated and hilarious ''those aren't pillows!'' moment. In a matter of a few moments, the film effortlessly goes from drama to comedy. Good writing and acting bring this off.... The rest of the movie is pure joy watching funny events done by experts. Once again, I want to keep these moments quiet for those who have never seen the film. The resolution, which the big secret is revealed, is pretty much figured out by the audience before the actors get there. But, it works, and, it allows these genius talents to rise to their gifts as actors. The final scene, with Steve Martin and his family, is touching. We see the loving Neal by his joy at seeing his family. And, John Candy has the look on his face, that, maybe, we the audience, also have. The look of contentment and happiness of a man and his family. The final shot is of Candy, with the music swelling. It is sweet, simple, and completely natural to the story.... The film came out in 1987 and immediately was embraced by the public and critics. It has now become required viewing around the holidays. Both actors did movies afterwords and had hoped to work together again. That plan ended with John Candy dying in 1994..... Steve Martin has carved out a career of quality work, with only a few missteps along the way. He is a treasure, this man. He writes screenplays, books, and plays. He also plays his beloved banjo. Those of us who grew up in the 70's remember that banjo fondly from his great comedy albums. His career spans decades and we are the beneficiaries of this gift. He is always welcome on a screen..... John Candy, God Bless Him, was short changed in his movie career. This movie, and a scant few others, were noteworthy, but, for some reason, this great talent was used badly by Hollywood when it came to good films and roles. His range and talent were never really brought out in film, like they were in his work on the t.v show ''SCTV''. He always seemed to be the best thing in mediocre movies. That is ok, for he always brought a smile and laugh to his audience. It is too bad that the movies missed the essence of this man. That is why this movie stands out. His skills here meshed perfectly with Steve Martin and John Hughes...... I have read a lot about both men. A fan like me does this. Obviously,  my impressions are based on other people's impressions who were close to them. Steve Martin has the reputation of a very shy, serious man, who is very loyal to his friends. John Candy had the same qualities, but, also a sadness to him, say people who were close to him. A man with a ready laugh who may be crying on the inside. The sad clown. If true, then that scene of him looking sad and hurt may have expressed more of the man than we might have imagined......

My Old Pals

Our arms went around each other's shoulders like the old days. Oh, we were a little heavier-- except for Jeff, who never saw an ounce of fat in his life-- but, we were still the same souls of our youth. A couple of the wives took the pictures. We smiled and the pictures took the moment. Another moment forever captured in a lifetime of memories.... My friend Mike Maniacek had his wedding last week. It was his second time and he was as happy as I have ever seen him. He was marrying a marvelous woman named Christine. There were about a hundred people in attendance. His first wedding in 1990 was bigger, and, filled with people, some now gone to the other side. This wedding was in a building his family owned in our hometown. That sprawling metropolis known as Des Plaines. Mike and I had grown up in this town, as had many of the people at the wedding. Arriving before the ceremony I was greeted warmly by his family. I was happy to be there. First, for Mike, who is like a brother to me. But, also, I knew that it would be a nice reunion of my childhood friends. I see them once in a while, but, never as we were in the old days. And, as Mike is my brother- in- arms, so, are Rob, Jeff, and James.... Let me start with Mike. If there is a more kind and sweet man roaming the earth then I want to meet him. There is not a mean bone in Mike's body. We met when we were five in kindergarden. I could not tell you the exact moment we met. He, like all of my childhood friends, just seemed to be there, as natural a fit as slipping in a pair of comfortable shoes. Mike remains the only person close to me that I have never been one bit angry at. Never. He is an old soul, meaning purity of spirit. He is decent and giving and one of those people who puts a smile on your face. Anyone who has ever met Mike has liked him. There is a strength about him, but, also, a vulnerability to him. The women he has been involved with in his life have sensed this and the mother instincts that flow in all women come to the surface. Make no mistake, Mike also is someone of strong character and someone who will be there for you, anytime. If I called him at 3am and said a friend that he has never met needed to be picked up, Mike would go charging out to rescue this person. That is the inherent decency and loyalty of this man. Mike is all love. I wish I shared his rosy outlook on life sometimes--- I am a little more jaded. The next time you hear the song'' All You Need Is Love'', think of Mike, because he is what the spirit of that song is all about..... That same loaylty and decency lives large in my friend Jeff Officer. Jeff was Mike's next door neighbor when we were kids. I also met Jeff around five years of age and he just naturally fit into my life. Jeff is a good looking guy who is now a pilot. If you look at the picture of all of us in FB he looks like he could do a commercial for being a pilot. Jeff is right out of Central Casting. Jeff never had a weight issue like the rest of us [ and, someday, somehow, I will get him for this annoyance]. He is one day older than me, but, looks 10 years younger. Jeff is married to a wonderful woman named Donna and they have two wonderful kids. They live in St. Louis, so, there are many years when we do not see each other as much as we should. Of course, when Jeff flies into town that makes the reunions that much more special. Jeff, like Mike and James, is a natural at the guitar. He played some beautiful background music for the ceremony. Jeff is one of those people who just naturally does everything well. He is modest, decent, sly with his humor, and rock steady. Jeff would be a success if he was running a gas station or Apple computers. I look up to Jeff, he is what I want to be when I grow up. Perhaps, because he is so normal and reliable you just naturally follow his lead, because it is the right way to go. Good man, that Jeff Officer..... Rob Steetz jumps out at you like a warm breeze. Rob is, in many ways, a lot like me, which might scare him some. I met Rob in the 8th grade during the death march known as CCD. We went as group to someone's house and studied, or, pretended to, the Catholic faith. I must confess I do not remember meeting him during these sessions [ I developed an almost coma-like feeling during these two hours sessions and turned off all life around me] but, he has a remarkable memory, so, I will say this was our meeting point. In high school we bonded. Rob and I get along so well because we have the same thoughts and sense of humor. He will throw out an obscure reference and I will bat it back to him like a tennis game. I would see him at parties and he would always have that same goofy, warm smile and glow to him. He gathered people around him because of his good nature. He still carries that around with him. Rob is a big kid at heart. An extremely intelligent and thoughtful man, Rob is married to a fine woman named Kara, and the have two young sons, the mighty Drew and Dan. Rob lives five minutes from me and, true to form, we never see each other. That is the brutality of life. We live in different circles. But, the warmth of his bear-like hug on any reunion reminds me of his value. When we do see each other, Rob is the one in the group of whom I confide my innermost thoughts. He is a good listener and gives solid advice. He will not be afraid to tell me if I am out of line about work, a girlfriend, or, my views of the world. To receive words of wisdom from this gentle giant is like Moses speaking from the mountain. That may seem to be a bit of overparaise, but, it is the correct description. Like all my friends, Rob has the good soul. I admire his strength and his ability to attack the hard times with courage and intelligence, but, also, to never lose who he really is--- a man the world needs more of..... James DiGirolamo, Christ, they should make some kind of movie about James!!! James represents my naughty side of my personality. The dark humor. I met James also in high school and we did see each other at school events and parties, but, we were never really close friends. I remember I had him in sophomore English class and he sat next to one of the hot girls, so, I was pissed at his luck. And, back in his single days James was a bit of a dandy with the ladies. The rest of us did not possess the charm and ease and looks that he did. He scored big time back then, the rat bastard. I got to know him better after he came home from college and we became fast friends. James is a beauty on the bass. He plays it like it just is part of his body-- as he has a right and left arm, so, he has a bass. He studied music and women at DePaul and now teaches in a kind of ''School Of Rock'' way. Individual students. He now is married to a woman named Karen, who has the patience and goodness of a saint to put up with him. I write this with a good amount of cheer and a smile on my face. James is in brother territory. He is a good man and someone who you also would call in an emergency. His response would probably be to call Mike instead, but, he would be there for me. He has. James is another one whom I have cried to about women. Because I have always been interested in the arts we share the bond of respect for artists. James has a quicksilver mind about the world and can back up his opinions forcefully. There are a slew of stories that we have about each other and our adventures. They still hidden, however, because of the ''guy code''. I once told a girlfriend that James was my mirror twin in many ways and the most like me. When I relayed this to him, James replied, ''I'm not sure I am comfortable with that idea.'' Smartass!! ..... There are other brothers I am blessed with. Rob Lindquist, Rene Ruelas, Mike Hofland, Gary Menzer. These men are forever sealed to me and my nervous system. To not have them in my life is not a thought I can imagine. All of my male friends I consider like fox-hole bodies in a war. We would be sharing C-rations, watching each others flanks, dying together. My female friends I admire and adore. That is a different kind of friendship, but, one I also value as the day is long. I have made many mistakes in my life. However, I show a great success when friendship is involved.... Back to the picture. The arms around each other. When you take a picture with someone you love it becomes more than just a picture. It becomes a visual of an unbroken bond of love. The picture we took shows the friends of youth more wordly now. Life has indeed measured us and thrown us happiness and sadness. Our eyes have seen a lot of life. But, for a moment, we were kids together again. Brothers-In-Arms....