November Boys

''Dear Johnny and Joey........ As always, it was wonderful getting together with what is left of our family for the holidays. The spirit of past family Christmas times has nicely settled on the present. I still look around for the ghosts of your Grandparents and Uncle Tom and Nana. They were in the room there, somewhere. We did not see them clearly, but, the sweet joy of their souls were swirling around us. They loved you both fiercely, as I do. I was thinking of them Christmas Eve, but, I was also thinking about you two........ I remember vividly the days you both were born. Johnny, you floated into the world in 1984, when your Uncle Jimmy was a mere eighteen. I did not have much experience with babies then. Most guys at that age do not. So, you were a bit of a mystery to me. How to hold you, what to do when you cried [ usually, babies want their Mom when they cry but you wanted to be held by anyone]. But, you hardly ever cried that I can think of. You always had a smile on that beautiful face of yours. Whomever walked into a room immediately wanted to pick you up and hold you. And, you never said no to that person. There you were, all fat and blond hair, being friendly and playful. You never whined, you never through fits. Happiness was all over you. And, that makes for a rising spirit of goodness for everyone around you. You were the first grandchild, so, of course, you were spoiled. If I didn't pay attention to you, you could easily go to your Uncle Tom for affection [ not an easy trick] and, certainly, your Gamma and Papa. Oh, how we spoiled you!!! I think of the day when you learned how to ride a bike. You would have thought that the Secret Service was guarding you. It was me, Papa, Uncle Tommy, and your Dad. We all were on the watch to make sure you didn't hurt yourself. And, you didn't. Like everything else in life, you picked up on it and excelled. I also think of Christmas time at your grandparents. The stack of presents were up high, all awaiting you opening them. The look of joy and happiness when you did open them has forever stayed in my mind's eye. As usual, you appreciated all of the gifts and thanked all of us. Your parents always, from the start, taught you good manners. You had your toys, the cars, the games, your little container of Pez candy, and most importantly to you, your valued walks with Papa down the block to see the big rock. You were a happy child who made the rest of the family glow. When, in 1989, you were presented with a younger brother, we all wondered on how you would take no longer being the center of attention. True to form, you took it calmly, in stride with your personality. You had a hell of a lot of patience with your younger brother. As we all had to...... Joey, as we have told you many times, you were a pain in the ass. Born five years after your brother, and like Johnny, a November baby, at times, I thought you were a howling demon from the Devil himself. Miserable. Always wanting only your Mom to hold you. That was a good choice, but, some of the rest of us wanted to nestle you in our arms, too. You would have none of that. You were lucky kid that, like your older brother, you were a beautiful baby. You had big cheeks and beautiful dark hair. As time wore on, and, your war with the rest of humanity touching you receded, your personality and joy came forward. And, that was worth the wait!! From the start, you made your presence known. I can recall that the Scoleri sense of humor seemed to be with you even at the age of three. A favorite family story is when, one time at your house, your Dad sent you to your room for being bad [ you had a hell of a temper, kid]. You did not want to go and finally your Dad took you in there and closed the door. Your Dad came back to the living room to talk to us again. That is when you whirled out of your room, came into the living room, looked at your Dad, and shouted at the top of your lungs at him, ''You fucker!'' and stormed off. Well, the room broke into hysterics. Obviously, you should not have called him that. But, I remember thinking that this kid has some balls. And, a rebellious streak. He is a Scoleri!!! As you grew up I was very happy to see the bond you and your brother had for each other. He looked out for you and you very much idolized him. That is a bond you two seemed to have taken with you both into adulthood. Being the baby in the family, Joey, as I can tell you, sure has its perks. You can get away with a lot of stuff that your siblings cannot. Your Mom and Dad were strict with Johnny, but, you got away with so much. It is cool, isn't it??!!! As you grew older, I observed a caring and love of all things that is very rare for someone your age. You take people as they are, no judging. I admire that but you have to be careful because some people deserve that judgment against them. But, your heart was open. And, I like that open heart. Your eyes sparkle with life and all it entails. I have, as other people in the family have commented on, noticed that you have many of my traits in your personality. You are good with people, see the world through the filter of humor, and make friends easily. I also see that you like your beverages and the ladies. Good, but, be careful you don't overdue both. And, stay away from strippers......... You have to forgive your Uncle here, guys. Sometimes, I find it difficult to believe that you both are men of the world. I still consider you runts running around the Christmas tree, begging all of us to let you open the gifts early. But, those days are long gone and you are men now. Good, solid, kind men. I am very proud of how you both turned out. You both would never hurt a fly. You both have matured into the type of person the world needs more of. You both are terrific fathers---- Johnny with Jordan and Aiden. Joey with the mighty Manny---- and I know the sweet spirit of your souls is in theirs also. I am no longer young, forty-eight people tell me, and your Mom is not also. We are not planning on going anywhere soon. But, I wanted to take this moment to officially hand off the family baton with you both. This is your quick pep talk about your duties that are expected of you both as you move through life. Never lose the sense of family. The Scoleri family has always been a good and decent family. We do not harm anyone. We always look out for the underdog. As you both are experiencing being out in the world now, there are many people out there that are ruthless and cutthroat. They would sell their mother's down the river for a healthy profit and gladly never bat an eye in guilt or shame. The family has never been part of this group. As your Uncle I expect you both to follow the family tradition of honor and loyalty and decency. Never be swayed by the dark forces out there. Your Papa always gave out sound advice. One thing I always remember him saying is ''Always be yourself. Never let anyone change whom you really are''. You will come across situations in life when you may cross that line of whom you are and are swayed to do bad things. This is not the Scoleri way. You two, in time, will be the living history of all that this family has been. And, I expect you both to obey the laws of our family heritage and bloodline. Never let anyone change you. Never hurt or disrupt another human being in life. That would go against your natural way of the goodness that swims in your souls. I have no doubts about you too and what road you will choose in life. It is the road that we all, in the family, have chosen. There will be some bumps, to be sure. Sometimes, it seems like you may have chosen wrong. You have not. Stay true to your goodness. It is whom you really are and you will have a much more rewarding life living this way. Try to make a healthy profit, yes, but never damn your soul by doing it. Ok, pep talk over....... I love you guys!! You make my life so much more enriching being around you. Thank you for being the men that you are!!! You make me very proud to call you my nephews!!!!......... Love, Uncle Jimmy''.........

Close Friends

I won't use names. Discretion is one of my main functions in life. I come from that long-ago time when a private life meant private. It wasn't polite to inquire about how much a person makes a year, what their house is worth, or, what they do in the bedroom. Many people tell me these things, but, I do not believe it is any of my business to invade a person's private life. Therefore, I will protect the innocent in this here blog and gingerly dance around without outing someone. That said, I have many friends I have had sex with....... Why state this? Well, as happens in my life, I was recently in a group of people at a bar. Some were young, others, like me, were fighting along the battlefield of middle-age. Sex is always on the platter at a bar get together, ripe for discussion. The subject of having sex with a friend was brought up. The young whippersnappers all believed that it was impossible to keep friendship and sex separate. I replied, no it was not. Many women I have as friends started out as sexual encounters and blossomed from there into straight friendship. And, the opposite has happened. Friends at first became sexual partners and then returned again as friends. The youngsters were stunned. That is not possible!!! Sex always ruins a friendship!!!........... No, it does not. Maybe, at their age it does. In your twenties, when you are really starting to have serious relationships for the first time, the lines between intimacy and friendship are very blurred. You are still very young and experimenting. When someone tries all of the items at the dinner table, he or she will hurt some feelings and ruin some relationships. That is common among the young. They are not mature enough to appreciate the moment and the realization that the people in your life now will not always be there. With maturity comes wisdom. And, you use that wisdom to define and work at who is the most important to you. When that is made clear, then you dedicate yourself to that love affair or that friendship. Feelings of your love for a person spill over between the two. By the time you are middle-age, you should have a good person or two that is also an extension of yourself. If you have many, God Bless. But, quality is more important than quantity........ Now, definition is the heart of having sex with a friend. If the subject is brought up logically and slowly, the pieces fall in line. Two friends should never start intimacy because you were both blasted out of your mind and let the hormones kick in. That is the warning sign and where many friendships break apart. Liquor is the most dangerous area to bring into the discussion. It must be from two clear minds. Because you are taking your feelings for each other in this new area, there should be no misunderstanding. Are we just doing this to get our rocks off or are we thinking this might be a positive new road for us?......... If it is purely sexual, then that is fine. I would rather my good female friends have sex with someone they trust, who will treat them well and with love and care, then some joker that was picked up at a party or a bar. They will give you sex, but, not the kind of sex you need. You are lonely and filled with a need to be loved. You want not only the orgasm but the person to hold you afterwords, with real feeling. Snuggling close to someone you care about is just as important as getting laid. More so, I believe. The action has ceased physically. But, the caring and love continue. In anything, after sex, you need that caring and love more. Ask yourself this, after you have had that first encounter with someone new and they have left, who is the first person you tell about this to? Perhaps, family. But, more likely, a close friend. Why? Because you value them and what they have to say. Sometimes, that call is not necessary because that person is the one holding you at that moment......... As we all know, sex with someone you love is vastly superior to someone you don't know. Sex becomes lovemaking. And, a friend, who understands your fears and your needs, is a good person to administer that lovemaking....... There is also some laughs. How can you not laugh among the two of you when you think about what you are about to do or have done. Laughing is fine. It releases good emotions in your bodies and also puts a little welcome reality to the situation. ''Can you believe we are about to do this? Ha!''........Most friendship hookups do come back for the need to alleviate loneliness. You need comfort and understanding. You need a close friend to share their caring with you and make a friend feel better. The media has snidely added the catchy nickname of ''Friends With Benefits'', as if two friends sharing their love for each other should be mocked by a hip name attached to it. No, if you call what you are having by that name, it will end badly for you. That means you are following what others do and try to label it as such. The true purpose is lost and then you risk bad feelings and that misunderstanding. No name for what you are doing needs to be attached. If one does, then use love. That speaks volumes....... I guess that now is the time to state that many female friends of mine I have not been intimate with. Some, I believe, it is good just to keep at a friendship level. I recognize that bringing lovemaking into the friendship could wipe out that friendship. And, the women realize it also......... In the final analysis, I believe that love for a friend is no different than love for a partner or your family. It all is sprung from the same well in my soul. True love and understanding for the people you care about. It all runs together as I get older. And, as we go into these cold months, sometimes you need a good friend to keep you warm........

Number 12

The new thing on Facebook is to be given a number. Then, with said number, you give facts about yourself. For example, if you are given the number 10, then ten fun-filled items comes floating out. Now, I have been given the number 12 by the lovely Kathi Krueger, so, I guess I must join the club and divulge pertinant facts. Taking a page from David Letterman, I will start with the highest number and countdown. Hold on to your socks......... 12). I used to be a member of the Commodores. 11). I love watching Green Bay Packer fans try to figure out how to use a bar of soap and toothpaste for the three teeth in their mouth. 10). Every Sunday, I free dance to the ''Dirty Dancing'' soundtrack. 9). Has impregnated half of the ''women'' at the Schaumburg DMV. 8). I co-wrote the hit country song, ''My Heart Belongs To My Country, But My Balls Belong To You.'' 7). Every November 22, I wear a pink dress and pink pillbox hat. 6). My losing of my virginity is coming out on Blu-Ray. Titled, ''Thirty Seconds And That Will Still Cost You A Hundred Bucks.'' 6). I once ran a massage parlor with Mother Teresa. 5). I love to say the word ''Telemundo.'' 4). I spend most Saturday nights bathing the elderly. 3). I once ran a distance, nonstop, of 200 feet to catch a woman falling who was carrying a pizza. Don't remember what happened to the woman. 2). My first wife was Eydie Gorme. 1). I taught square dancing and ballet to Charles Manson........ So, there I hope that closes any questions that might be asked about James Patrick Scoleri, so christened....... Oh, I will add one more thing as a final postscript........ I would like to fall in love again........ For all of the bluster and sexual free-talk that I speak, I am at heart very romantic. For those who really don't know me and just see the humor, that might be another humorous line in the long list of my off-center mind comments and imagination. However, the people closest to me----- family and close friends---- they have seen the other me. The me that loves and respects women and all that they are. I am constantly amazed and fascinated by the fairer sex. I know what it is like to be a guy, so, new insights into human behavior from the male point of view are old hat to me. Now, a woman!!! The sweetness and pure heart and soul of a woman, that makes me feel alive and kicking!!! I have always been very proud of my associations with women, whether they be of a friendship level or a romantic angle. I love being in love. I have had many romances, some short-term, a few long-lasting. I have had the wonderous joy of a woman by my side and I literally feel my heart beating with a new life. Sure, some of that feeling is sexually physical. But, the other half feels the power of having a woman that you love and being loved back. Just about all of us have had that feeling, what I am saying is not new. You know, that jump, that incredible jump, of all-around passion and love. That is why when I come across someone who is in a long-term relationship without that passion, I feel very sad for them and my romantic heart cries out for them. Many people are with someone that they really do not want to be with, while their soul aches for the other half that is missing. People stay together for a variety of reasons, be they financial or waiting until the children have grown. And, that breaks a romantic heart like mine....... Part of being a romantic is discretion. I date privately, many people close to me have not met my girlfriends, or perhaps, a few have been introduced. Why? Well, I believe that love is a very special gift. It needs the discretion of privacy for it to grow and sustain. Also, maybe, I live my life in compartments. I have a family space, along with a friends nook. The most serious compartment is that love compartment. And, that is an exclusive membership. A lot have women have visited this place, but, only a select few have had a gold card. My family and friends understand this and are respectful. In time, I will let all of them intermingle. But, when I feel the time is right...... Sometime in the future I will talk more in depth about my true loves. A hint: one really got to me. She saw the real me ( not an easy trick) and loved me unconditionally. We were together for four magic years. And, then......... I hope to find another love like this. Romantics always sustain on the feeling of hope. A few friends of mine are in the same boat. We are no longer 21, when all of life is still in front of you and hopes abound. We are weary from the battle........ But, the war for love will never go away.......

A Final Sunset

The doctor delivered the death sentence, cool and with expertise. He must have said the same words over and over for generations. Just change the names and faces, but, the facts still stun and sadden. Claire had cancer. That most foul enemy to all people. It was no surprise, in a way, but, the words spoken--- without the warmth and feeling you would get from a loved one---- shook her to her core. And, James, her husband, steady, a rock, and a knight in shining armor, felt the blow also. Not as much as Claire, of course. She was losing her life. In a way, so was James. The doctor told her she had about six months, which really meant three. There was nothing more to be said. There were no miracle cures, no hope that she would bounce back. Chemo was of no use. She was going away soon...... The couple shed some tears in the office but managed to stay somewhat composed. The drive home was silent, as if the silence was a diversion. Claire, all 5"3 of her was shuddering a little but her eyes were dry. It wasn't until they got home and the dogs ran up to them that it all came out....... James and Claire had been married for 51 years. They were high school sweethearts. They never dated anybody else. The romantics they were, they always claimed that God had touched their love with a special potion and that potion made them one. It was very likely. Anyone who ever saw the two of them together came away with the feeling of two people united as one. They had the same sense of humor and the same loves in life. They loved children [ having 3 to prove the point] and animals. As the children grew up, there would be dogs running all over the house. Dogs claim a special place in any judge of character. There was also a tremendous attraction to the outdoors. Sunsets held the high card. Before the kids were born, when they were young, they would find their favorite tree outside of the house to lie under. Some people would bring spirits to enhance the experience but they did not need that. The natural beauty of the sky as God sent the sun off to sleep and brought out the magic of the moon was intoxicating enough. They would snuggle with each other, with James putting a protective arm around her. No one was going to penetrate that embrace. She was safe in his arms as she watched the sunset. Claire always felt warm and secure at those moments. Her head would naturally find a comfy spot on the shoulder. Before they had kids, this embrace and moment were the supreme summitt of their relationship. Young, warm, safe, and in touch with the great forces of nature. When the kids arrived one by one, of course, they joined that much loved embrace. A baby snuggled betweem them. With every arriving child, Claire and James would separate a little further from each other. That was okay, they gladly knew. In time, when all three of the kids were lying under that tree with them, all that was touching between the two of them were their fingers. And, a warm smile would pass at each other. That smile would be their silent rememberance of their twosome........ There was nothing really special about their marriage. They did what millions of people do who live ordinary lives. The kids grew up strong and good natured. The dogs slowly would die off, a traumatic time for the family. But, new dogs would take the fallen's place. As they aged in years, there would be the normal health issues associated with growing older. Blood pressure, cholesteral, etc. But, nothing major. Until that morning when Claire felt the bump under her arm. For a few days, she let it go. But, it continued to worry her and she finally went to her doctor. After a battery round of tests, the doctor delivered the thunderblow verdict of cancer........ Claire had just turned 71. James was a year older. His health, while not great, was of little thought of right now. Claire was dying and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. The doctor had told them that. With a heavy heart the children were summoned and heard the news. Tears flowed in waves. The children, not seeing the reality, determined she could be saved and she must fight the demon. However, reality soon came about and the little family had to accept the decision was final. There would be no intervention from above. God was calling Claire home. And, as the children swarmed her and cried their tears, James made the decision he had to. He was going with her........... James waited a few days before he told Claire. He wanted to check their finances and have all of their papers in order. And, he read his life insurance policy to see if it covered suicide. It did not, so, James made some moves to assure financial stability for the family. The house and all of their possessions were firmly in place to be delivered to their kids. It was then that James told Claire. He did not tell her verbally, but, rather in a letter he composed the night before.......... '' My Darling, Claire. You know I am not a articulate man. Never have been. You have teased me for years at being tongue-tied when I need to speak up!!! Well, I beg your indulgence this last time and let me express my thoughts to you in written form. From the moment I first saw you I loved you. I was only sixteen but I knew that my heart was beating for the first time. My eyes were filled with your fine, beautiful face and angelic behavior. From that moment on, there was no one else for me. And, you honored my soul and being by giving me your love back. I have never regretted for one single day our journey through life together. We have navigated all the trials and pitfalls that life gives us. Yes, sometimes, I thought we would go under. But, our love always showed us the way. It is a love written about in the finest of poems and the sweetest of songs. It is a love that transcends everything else in life. And, we have our children, the brightest extension of that love. Not a day goes by that I do not thank the Almighty for this love and the gift of you. I am a fortunate man. And, through this journey through our lives I have learned many things. The last thing, you can say, is that I do not want to go further in this life without you by my side. I want us to leave this life and start the next life together, our final journey. On one hand, you can say I have given up. Yes, I agree. On another, you can say that we have done all that we can here. Our beloved children are adults we can admire and be proud of. They have their own lives and can live them without us. There is a touch of sadness in me writing these words but also a relief. We aren't necessary for their survival anymore. They will be fine. And, I ask that we make the decision to take our next step together. Our minds are clear. It is time. We will miss so much. But, we have been given so much. And, we must let go. I cannot think of a better scenario than for me to greet God and all of God's magic wonders with you by my side, as I hold you close. Let us both begin this journey as we have begun other journeys: with love in our eyes and united as one..... Love, Your James''.......... Claire put down the letter and did not say anything at first. Because she was crying. He had been short in his letter [ so typical of him to get to the point!] and she didn't need more. She looked into his eyes, the eyes she had fallen into love with so many years ago. Those eyes always held kindness and understanding, never malice. And, then, she noticed, those beautiful eyes began to cry. Deep sobbing never seen by her before. He was crying from the very core of his soul. Claire knew he meant every word. He was willing to die with her. Slowly, she walked over to him. Her head bent gingerly towards his face and rested on his forehead. They spoke no words. And, then, she looked him directly into his eyes. Again, no words were spoken. But, a pact had been made with the silence. They would go on together......... The two questions that remained would be how it would end, and, most heartbreaking, how would they tell the children? The first part was decided easily. The second was delicate. They decided to say it straight out to the kids. No sugar coating and no retreat from their position. At first, they envisioned the kids not understanding. Then, when the children saw they were serious, disbelief would come. And, that was exactly what happened two days later when they announced their plans at a family gathering. James told them flat-out. ''We want to be together''. It was no reflection of any lack of love or devotion from Mom and Dad, just that they were tired and wanted to go to sleep. The girls cried, but, James Jr, always the most like his father in thinking, grasped the plan with some thought. James Jr. explained to his sisters that their parents needed this. It broke his heart, like it did theirs, but, there was a sweetness in Dad doing this for their Mom. They both seemed to be of sound mind and did not take what they planned lightly. After three hours, reluctantly, but, with the feeling that they would do anything for their parents, the kids gave in. They would not stand in the way of this final testament of eternal love........ The day it would happen was decided. It would be one week later. Claire was starting to feel pain again from her cancer, so, it had to happen soon. The night before, a Friday, the family gathered in the parents home one last time. There was everybody's favorite foods and plenty of drinks. Who cared about calories and hangovers!!! Tonight we live, for tomorrow we die. The family films came out, along with the favorite stories told throughout the years. No close friends had been told about what was going to happen, nor extended family. Just the kids knew [ they were all single]. Crying mixed with laughter filled the night. And, then, it was time to say goodbye. You can imagine the scene. There weren't farewell hugs, but, rather, bodies glued to each other. To let go would mean to say goodbye, and, as much as the event tomorrow was accepted, to let go would mean never again would they be together. Never again would there be birthdays and Christmas together. Never again would Mom make her special dishes and Dad to sing his songs. Never again. It was over. Finally, somehow, James and Claire convinced them to go. They would see them in their dreams........... The following morning James gassed up the car. Their departure method would be the old-fashioned, and painless, closing the garage door and starting the car. But, they planned on doing it in the evening, after viewing one last sunset together. They went out to the tree, the tree that held a small part of their lives. They sat on the ground and Claire found her spot nestled in the shoulder. James rested his head on top of hers. They didn't speak. The sunset spoke for them. Finally, after seeing this final burst of life, James and Claire went to the garage. The dogs sat in the backseat [ they weren't leaving this life without them]. The dogs had their toys and were kissed one last time. The garage door was then shut and the car started......... When they were found the next day by James Jr--- who had volunteered to serve in this capacity---- he noticed the dogs lying peacefully in the backseat. And, then he found his parents. Holding each other close, with Claire safely in James' arms. They had a peaceful look on their faces, as if they found supreme joy with each other in their final moments. The son began to cry. For his dead parents who were no more, of course. But, also, for the love that they had for each other, even to the very end. It made what had happened much easier to accept. He knew they were together somewhere. The dogs were running beside them. And, they were eternal........ That night, James Jr. and his sisters sat under their parents tree and watched the sunset. They smiled to themselves as they toasted the people who gave them a love of life and, now, a love of death. Funny, James Jr. thought, the sun setting has never seemed more beautiful........

Gay Is Happy

To my knowledge, the first homosexual I ever met that was openly gay was in an acting class I took when I was 22. Acting and gays have gone hand in hand for centuries, but, for us heteros, it also opened the door to have great access to women in acting. With so many gays flying around, a straight guy, like myself, felt like a kid in a candy store. But, I digress. Some of the students were either openly gay, or, you pretty much knew that they were a ''friend of Dorothy's''. At first, because of my lack of experience in dealing with that lifestyle, and, also, being a young male who constantly thought of women, I was a little put off being around them. My skin didn't exactly crawl, but, there was a noticable lack of interaction with them like I had with the straight people. And, let's not forget, when you are young, even though you think you know everything and have all the answers, you don't. I'm sure my arrogance and prejudice towards that lifestyle inflicted a certain coldness with them. In time, as I got to know them, I accepted whom they were and, while I still don't understand that lifestyle at all, I sure have embraced everybody's right to live their lives how they want to. I would never tell anyone whom they should be with......... As I've grown older and hopefully wiser, I have relaxed my personal biases. That is one of the great things about growing older [ there aren't many great things]: the ability to have an open mind. Not that you have to necessary agree with another viewpoint or lifestyle. There are still certain things that I will never embrace. But, the key of maturity in a person is the open mind. I will debate with the best and the dumbest. I will listen to their side, which can be both informative, and a complete waste of my fucking time. I will gather information to store in my memory bank, or, I will flush away comments as fast as I can. Unfortuantely, some dumb things still stick to my mind while other important details fade away. I used to know about the Theory Of Relativity. It is actually an easy formula. Not anymore. But, I remember Sonny and Cher were married to each other. Why I remember that and not phone numbers of people I love is a strange twilight zone world to live in. However, it all flows with the open mind to all information. And, life's experiences, as we all know, change us. What you may have believed at 22 may not apply at 47. Am I the same person now that I was at 22? I hope not. Because that would mean my learning has been stunted and I have not accepted all of the differences in life. And, homsexuality, once so alien and uncomforatble to me, has grown in my acceptance.......... I still do not have anyone close to me who is gay. My family and friends have all followed the straight way of living, as have I. I have had some girlfriends who had gay friends that I got to know. But, no one close to me, or, someone I have known for a long time, has ever come out of the closet. How would I react if such and such a person told me that they were homosexual or lesbian? At first, it would be a source of humor, as most things are with me. There would be the jokes and the inappropriate comments that only the people you love can appreciate. Then, well, I would think the serious analysis would come into the forefront. I would ask the person if they feel better and more happy coming out of the closet. I would hope that the answer would be affirmative. I would be looking at their face and hopefully to see joy and relief in finally being whom they always wanted to be but couldn't. There has to be a horrible feeling that you have been made to feel a freak by society and its bigotry simply because you have decided to travel a different way with your sexuality. Then, if they felt so free to talk about it, I would listen to their stories, not the sexual ones, but, the sad stories of hiding their lives under a lie. I would listen to their stories of ridicule and shame and condemnation by society and by their loved ones who shunned them. We have all heard the stories about fathers disowning sons because of their sexual orientation. We have heard the stories about ridicule from a person's peers that result in suicide attempts. And, as I would listen to these heartbreaking stories, I would, I believe, open up a part of my soul that would be protective of my new gay friend. I would see the light even clearer and with better perspective. Although I do not agree with their sexual practices, that is okay. They do not agree with mine either. But, they don't judge me or shun me because I am heterosexual. Why, therefore, should I judge them? The evening would probably end with us embracing and us closer than we have ever been. And, then, my friend would still be my friend, like  for so many years, and, we would share laughs and good times again. Would I look at them differently? Yeah, I would. But, it would be from an angle of pride and respect for putting up with all the abuses they have endured for years.......... There are some mistakes I think homsexuals do make. Some use their sexual life as a cause. I'm old-fashioned. Regardless of how one swings, I believe in privacy. It is no one's business whom you sleep with. Free will always triumphs in my book. But, the homosexual community is mistaken, I believe, to turn a personal issue into a political cause. Example: the Gay Pride Parade every year in most major cities. If I was gay I would be highly ashamed and alarmed by this parade. It is billed as a celebration of a lifestyle but it is actually a mockery of good intentions. Check out the floats and the behavior of many of the participants. They are acting so stereotypical and outrageous that they seem to turn off many straights with their antics and buffoonery. If I was gay I would be highly ashamed of the parade and would believe it sets the movement back. When you open something up to such ridicule you will invite the backlash. In short, if you act like an idiot, then, the world will treat you like an idiot. This cannot please most homosexuals. They must sit at home and shake their heads in disgust. Here they have been living their lives trying to have ''normal'' society accept them as ''normal'' people, and, then, these fools open up the old wound of ridicule. Take a cue from the heterosexual world. We have no parade. Most straight people use discretion. If gays believe that no one should be interested in what is happening in the privacy of a bedroom, then, they should start practicing what they preach. Yes, the issue must be addressed to a certain degree, but, do it in a classy and respectful way. That is how straight society will understand and accept. But, you are not getting the message out on ''Dykes On Bikes''............ The gay marriage movement has had another success, this time with the State Of Illinois passing the bill for gays to get married. I have never had a problem with this. My standard joke has always been that if gays want to be miserable in marriage like most heteros I know let them do it. I know many people who follow the Bible and the teachings of this most arguable book have issues with the gay marriage movement. They argue that marriage is between a man and a woman. I have always that marriage is for two people who love each other, regardless of background, religion, race, or sex. If a union is involved with two people who love each other deeply, who cherish the other person for making their life come alive and for stimulating them intellectually and physically, for being the other half of their soul and being the partner they want to walk through life with, then, if you want some legal document to have to make it official, then that is my definition of marriage............ So, for the bigots out there that see gays and lesbians as the big corrupters of youth, who see the fact that two people of a same sex are the devil, relax, no one is gonna threaten you and your life. You can still proudly wave the banner of your preference as high as you want. But, really, no one cares like you think they do. And, who knows? There is the old theory about protesting too much about something. Maybe, just maybe, somewhere in the deepest, darkest regions of your narrow mind, there is a little interest in this lifestyle. There are also the stories about ''macho'' men who spend their whole lives proving their masculinity, and then, they end up sucking dick from a Mormon in a Utah hotel room....... In the final analysis, who really cares? I don't. Neither should you. Let people live their lives the way they want to, as long as no one is hurt or taken advantage of. There is far too much hatred floating around this world already. None should be leveled at two people who are spreading the feeling human love........

Happy Halloween

I had a sensible bag for the candy. One of those plastic bags that managed to find a lot of room for the treats. My friends had about the same volume to their bags. But, Brother Tommy always surpassed us all. My big bro used to haul candy in an old pillow case. Scouting and prowling the neighborhood and the outlining areas was his M.O. My dear brother had an a sweet tooth a mile long, so, it took him into the deepest apartment buildings and the far away homesteads. But, this was the 1970's, the last innocent time to be a kid. So, there was no worry to be had. And, there wasn't. Des Plaines, Illinois was innocent then......... Soon, the knocks will be at my door, like all of yours, with little kids telling me trick or treat [ always in a charmingly shy way] and their bags will be open for my giving them their rewards. Halloween, as we all know, is the second best time to be a kid. Christmas stumped every other day because you were waiting for the Magic Man himself, Mr. Claus. But, Halloween ran a close second because of one simple cardinal rule: you can eat as much candy as you want and you won't hear anything negative about it. No cautionary warnings that it will make your skin break out and rot your teeth. Everybody jumps on board the candy train....... I can't remember my first costume as a kid but it had to have come from Osco. Back in the golden era of the 70's, costumes were much more simple and economical. I always seem to remember being wrapped in some plastic outfit with the outline of a monster or ghoul on my chest. Skeletons ran supreme. However, I always liked pictures of Dracula and other monsters who scared the hell out of me every other day of the year. Mom always went to Osco to buy these outfits because it was rather cheap and we kids looked good all goofied up. In those times, there wasn't the elaborate special effects of the movies today. Then, if you wanted to be a ghost, throw a white sheet on your head. You wanted to look like a rock star? Chances are your older siblings had some psychedelic attire still left over from the free-wheeling Sixties that you could wear. But, the plastic outfits were the best. They weren't heavy, were rather easy to put on, and made you feel scary...... Remember how fun school was on Halloween? Perhaps, it was the only fun day of the year [ last day of school really doesn't count] because you had parties. The teachers were all dressed up in various costumes. They had to show respectability in their outfits, but I always wondered, even in my precious childhood, if they slipped off those costumes when we kids left, and then the fun would really start to unfold. But, the teachers always were cool with how they looked---- a sidenote: I look back and realize I always had good teachers in my school years. I do not remember disliking any of them at any level------ and, even then, I had the impression that by behaving like this, there was some real humans beings behind the lessons we were taught. Games spun around the classrooms, with every kid taking a turn and winning a prize. This was a touching gesture on the teachers part because not everyone was good at games. These women, bless them wherever they are now, always played fair and made sure no one was not a winner doing something. The music would be playing [ the ''Monster Mash'']  and much laughing and singing would be had. Thank you again, my lost-forgotten teachers of Albert Einstein Elementary School in Des Plaines. I hope we kids were good to you and gave back our appreciation on how well you threw a party........... After school, the action really started!!! You paired up with your friends and knew immediately which house would be hit first. You always singled out the houses with the best candy and you wanted to get there first before other kids took all of the good stuff. I think my lifelong drive to get to a party early comes from these days. I want the action to start now and last long. We kids didn't fuck around. There was a mission here to beeline to the first house and grab the moolah. Maybe, your first greeting of '' Trick Or Treat'' is the most powerful. It has been stored up in you for a year and the anticipation is making me waaaaiiiiiiiiiittttttttttiiiiiiiinnnnnnnggggg!!!!!!!! Suckers came out, along with candy bars. Snickers were always my favorite--- an affair to which I enjoy to this day---- but, Baby Ruths were welcome, along with Kit Kats or Hersheys or Mounds [ my Mom's favorite]. Sometimes, gum would fly into the bag. But, there was always some asshole who would give out fruit!!! They would drop an apple into your bag and break the suckers!!! What's with the apple, pal? As soon as we walked away from the house, we all would throw that apples back at the house. Fuck you, buddy!!! We want candy!!!........... After the first house had been visited, the candy would start to be eaten as you canvassed the neighborhoods. Along the ways, you would pass your school friends, some might have changed from their costumes earlier in the day and you would join them, sometimes as a big group, to march towards the door. I always appreciated the warm smiles from the mothers who answered the door. They were having a ball seeing our costumes and loving the joy that ran across our faces as we got the goods into our bags. I was raised to always say, ''Thank You'', when something is done for me. And, so were my friends. There would be the chorus of little kids voicing, ''thank you'', before the door closed. The moms would laugh, wave, and wish us all a good time, but, be safe........... And, we were safe. Des Plaines back then was like most suburbs. Everybody knew their neighbors and watched out for the kids playing. If someone suspicious was in the area, everybody knew and protected the kids. That was why my brother, Tommy, went distances for his rewards. The areas were safe. No one was gonna hurt anybody. There were no drugs or shady dealings in our community. If you were out after dark, everything was ok. But, you still had to check in with Mom and Dad. Normally, I was home by the time it was dark. And, as soon as I got home, my Dad would look through the bag to see what I got and if everything was safe. Maybe. But, he wasn't fooling me or anyone else. He was looking for candy he liked. Of course, Dad, you can have some of my stash. The problem was that my Dad and I had similar tastes in candy. So, I did see many precious Snickers make their way down my Dad's throat. It was all good, though. Even then, I would have given him the world.......... The final reward of the special day was the annual viewing on Channel 9 of  ''Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein''. This was a religious viewing. Eating the candy while Bud and Lou met up with Dracula, the Wolfman, and ole Franky himself. Even though it was a comedy, there were still some scary moments in the movie. Now, its laughable, but when you are a kid, things like being alone in your house and hearing things go bump in the night really scare you. The scares in this chestnut of a movie are all in good fun, however. A good, scary movie is required watching on a day like this. Not the absurd and violently gross movies that pass as horror films now. But, a movie you can watch with someone, or better yet, alone, with the lights off, that keeps your heart beating a little faster and on the edge of your seat......... The candy is in the bowls by my door awaiting the first knocks. The only worry is that I will start eating some of it before Halloween arrives. I look forward to seeing the kids and their costumes. I look forward to seeing how happy their faces are as they wish me ''trick or treat'' and hold open their bags. I look forward to them being pleased by the candy because I buy some good stuff. I look forward to seeing their hot Moms there watching over their kids. Last year, I got hit on by two mothers but they looked like Bela Lugosi, so nothing came of it. And, I look forward to watching ''Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein'' again. It will be watched with me eating candy and reconnecting, for a little while anyway, with the kid in me......... We all need to revisit our childhoods in some form. God help us when we ever stop being kids at heart........

Great Depressions

Okay, so, I am a little depressed lately. Its nothing to get down about. Many thoughtful family and friends have been in contact with me wondering where my head is at and if I am feeling good in life. Yes, I reply gratefully, all is well with me and my psyche. I am just in the same low emotional well that we all find ourselves in. You can't really point to a reason or incident. But, your mood is not aligned in the positive direction, so, you feel a case of the blahs. We all go through it and caring people around you are on guard. For me, there is the added worry because I had a brother who committed suicide. That sends a quiet signal to the watchguards who care about me--- and, my family--- that we should be checked in on. I repeat: I am fine and still am in love with life........ The subject of depression is interesting to me. I view life through the filter of humor. I try to see the absurd in everyday circumstances, which results in my social commentary. Sometimes, that viewing can be really twisted in a cruel way, i.e. sick jokes or black humor. I am grateful I have this humor filter in my soul. I cannot imagine how a humorless person views the harshness of reality without the humor bone attached to you. If you view life and its occurances in the clear light without humor, then, it is a pretty bleak and depressing experience. Tragedy, human horror, corruption, broken dreams, make up the shape and face of the world. We all encounter setbacks and harsh brushes with cruelty. How someone who looks at this soberly, without humor to fall back on, must be deadly. And, those people, when they fall into that well of depression, are most likely to hear the voices of doom to end it all. I don't hear those voices, thankfully. And, neither did my brother. The true story of his demise, as some of you know, was more accidental death than an intentional taking of life. But, his death was ruled a suicide, so, that stain his legacy must be. But, as a Scoleri family member since birth, I can tell you we all have embraced the richness and celebration of life and all it gives us. Deep depressions do not inflict our DNA. Rather, we can tend to slide to the ''a little blue'' column under depression. All is well in Scoleriland........ Is it wrong to be depressed? No, I do not think so. Everyone swings back and forth between happiness and sadness at various times during a lifetime. Some of the most famous and brilliant people in history were moody fucks. Winston Churchill, Ben Franklin, Franklin Roosevelt. The list goes on. It has been reported that Abraham Lincoln was manic-depressive all of his life. These men certainly knew heartbreak and setbacks. However, they channeled the negative to spur their systems on to do great things, which they certainly did. Maybe, if Lincoln was clinically ''normal'', he might have been a colder, crueler person. His depression led him down the path to human understanding and enlightenment. He saw and felt the suffering of the common person because he knew the feelings firsthand. Depression, however sad, can be a useful learning tool for us and to use to further shape our character......... But, the obvious argument about depression is when does it cease to be a momentary downslide and become a genuine problem. Depression is too delicate and complex an issue to do a blanket statement on. I resent psychiatrists who classify everyone who goes through a bad emotional state as someone with a problem. These simple-minded takes on the human spirit is meant, in my opinion, to raise the good doctor in the eyes of the patient, as some kind of healer and all-wise counsel. They may care, as they claim, for your emotional being but that caring always comes at a price. I have never been to see a shrink [ and, I know that many people benefit from seeing someone ] but the tales of woe that I have heard steer me towards a very negative  opinion of the profession. I have heard the stories of a sudden breakthrough in the patient, only to be stifled because the time is up and we must address this issue at our next session. What? The patient has had an awakening and you do not pursue it because the money meter for the hour is up? The doctor then is sending a mentally fragile person in the world with his or her mind unshackled of emotional blockage, who is now vulnerable to depresssion. I'm willing to bet that a lot of suicides happen because the demons are running unchecked after a visit to a shrink......... The drug companies sure love depression. It seems like most of the population is hopped up on some kind of anti-depressive. That is fine with some folks who need to have a mood stabilizer. Still, many people are on this medicine like Prozac, who should not be on it. Another reason I hate psychiatrists is that most have become like a drug dealer, freely dispensing this miracle drug to control the moods of the population. Once again, this is ok for some but not for everyone. I see kids, little kids under ten, being told that there is a problem with depression and the child must be on Prozac or some other drug. They use terms like ''ADD'' to justify where they think your child is in danger. My question has always been, why not let the child be a little depressed? Why must the sad feelings of life be suppressed? These feelings go hat in hand with joyous feelings. Shouldn't a child feel all angles in the emotional cycle to better deal with life? I believe so.At some point, reality will hit that child in the face and now you have a human being incapable of dealing with sadness, pain, and unfullfilled desires. And, then, you have some serious depressive problems.... What is the answer? My way of dealing with negativity in life has been to face it head-on, not retreating. If I am down, I allow myself to be down. I know me better than anyone else and sometimes the well of sadnessand depression must be visited. For me, this visit somehow recharges my system and gives me a fresh start on happiness. I do not look forward to being down in the dumps but my system has to feel the negative in order to march towards the positive. That is me. I accept the negative stigma that depression is as a learning tool. It gets me reaquainted with the sad in me. Many people do not want to acknowledge that sad exists, as if that is something to be ashamed of. I do not wallow in it but I face it as best as I can. Hopefully, it helps me grow into a better person........

Who Done It?

Okay. Who did it? It has been fifty years now and I wanna know. Surely, all of the principal architects of the murder are long gone. The people who pulled the trigger. The groups or organizations that planned the murder. And, the getaway people who helped cover it all up. Either they are dead or near to it happening. So, I want a real deathbed confession. I want someone who knows the story truthfully and is not pulling our leg with false clues and a theory. More than my selfish reasons of finding out the truth, we, the people of this country, deserve to know once and for all who killed our President....... It is the most famous murder in history. And, the most famous unsolved crime. Everybody has a theory of who did it. John Fitzgerald Kennedy, 46, riding in the middle of an American street in Dallas, Texas, was fatally shot down right in front of our eyes. There were hundreds of people around, some police and Secret Service, some, like you and me, ordinary citizens who just wanted to catch a glimpse of a President. There was also the Zapruder film, shot by garment designer Abraham Zapruder, that actually caught the murder as it was happening. It was shot on grainy home camera footage, but, it showed all of its ghastly horror. The first bullet hitting Kennedy around the throat, Governor Connally being struck by this same bullet, or, perhaps a different bullet, and, finally, the final shot. This shot took the top of the head off of JFK and splattered blood everywhere, including, all over his wife, Jackie. The images from that day still stun and shock. Jackie climbing out the back of the car, trying to find her husband's brain. The Secret Service man, Clint Hill, saving her from sure harm by catching her before she tumbled off the car. The horror as the witnesses screamed and cried and went into shock. These few moments forever changed history. A new President came in, Lyndon Johnson, but, the spirit of the times, the feelings of hope and anything was possible, were shattered in seconds. History has called it a lost innocence, when the country heading down the path towards apathy and hate. Maybe. That is open to debate because this country---- and any country in history---- has not ever been innocent and pure. Hate and greed and violence are as old as humanity. However, there was a noticable change in the mood of the country after the death of President Kennedy. Partly, it was because he was a young, handsome President, with a beautiful wife and adorable children. And, he was young. When youth dies in the full flower of its promise, we, the people, somehow feel older. The truth of his Presidency is that JFK gets an incomplete mark as a President. Only in office for two-and-a-half years, he did not do very much. There was the folly of his bungling of the Bay Of Pigs in 1961, when he failed to send in troops to support a CIA led invasion of Cuba. But, the following year, he proved his metal when he handled the missile crisis intelligently and strongly by standing up to the Russians putting offensive weapons in Cuba that could strike the United States and destroy cities in less than thirty seconds. And, in 1963, shortly before his death, he signed the Nuclear Ban Treaty with the Soviets that banned testing of nuclear weapons in the air and sea [ but, most interesting, not on land]. So, when he was cut down on that Dallas street in November, 1963, he was personally popular, but, did not have many achievements on the books yet. He seemed to be moving in the right direction had he lived. But, he was struck down in his prime and forever is now enshrined as a dashing hero of Camelot whom we lost as he was ready to bring victory to his people. Again, this open to debate for historical scholars...... The other part of his death has lingered on since the final bullet. Who killed him? We know the police immediately arrested Lee Harvey Oswald and he was instantly marked as the man who killed President Kennedy. For two days, he was the villian of the world. Then, while being transfered from the Dallas prison to another location, he was shot in cold blood by Jack Ruby, a local nightclub owner and police groupie. Oswald died ninety minutes after being shot. Ruby, arrested and eventually convicted of the murder, claimed publicly that he killed Oswald because of his admiration of Kennedy. Ruby would die of cancer in jail a couple years later........ Almost immediately, the theories of conspiracy began. The government investigation of the killings, The Warren Commission, quickly determined that Oswald acted alone, that he shot JFK from the sixth floor of Book Depository, where he worked. The Warren Commission believed that Oswald killed him after firing three bullets. The first bullet, later referred to as the ''magic bullet'', hit Kennedy from behind through the back of his throat, exited from the front, changed direction in mid-air, and came down at another angle and hit Governor Connally in the back. The second bullet missed its targets. But, the third and final bullet, according to the Commission, was the head shot that tore away Kennedy's brain...... Now, do you, reader, know of anyone who buys this theory? I don't. This explanation by the Commission has been disputed and proven impossible by scientists and expert marksmen ever since it was made public. It could not have happened the way the Commission stated. Two key points dispute the findings of the panel. One, the majority of witnesses in Dealey Plaza, where the assassination occured, claimed that the final shot came from the front of the car, meaning from the direction of the famous ''grassy knoll'' area directly in front of the car. Immediately after the killing, the bulk of the people ran towards this area because they believed the shooting came from there and that there was smoke coming from behind the fence, smoke from a rifle. When interviewed by police and the government later, some 90% percent of the people in Dealey Plaza say without a doubt that the shots came from there. To be fair, some others did claim that they heard shots from behind the car from the Book Depository. If these witnesses are to be believed, and, I think they are, John Kennedy was shot from the back and the front, a victim of a crossfire killing......... The second key point is the Zapruder film, perhaps the most famous single film in history. There was no sound on the film, but, the visuals are striking enough. They show Kennedy and Connally being struck. And, they show the final bullet taking Kennedy's life. His head goes BACK AND TO THE LEFT. This was only possible from a shot from the front. In no way could have a shot from behind him have caused his head to twist this way. The Zapruder film was the key bit of evidence to support the theory that Oswald do not act alone [ if, in fact, he did shoot at all]. If the shot did come from the front, as the film and witnesses support, then Kennedy was the victim of a conspiracy. With Ruby silencing Oswald two days later, we were assured of never knowing the true story......... Throughout the years, with the public rightfully rejecting the inane and whitewashed report of the Warren Commission, various plot scenarios have surfaced regarding who killed JFK. The Kennedy brothers, John and Robert, had many enemies. The Mob, whom were relentlessly being pursued by Attorney General Robert Kennedy, were said to be the most hateful of the Kennedy enemies. In addition to the prosecution and convictions of ''the boys'', the Mob felt cheated because they believed they were responsible for putting JFK in office. Through the shady dealings of JFK's father, Joseph Kennedy, who made bribes and promises to the Mob in exchange for support in the election, the Mob felt double-crossed by Bobby Kennedy's personal vendetta against organized crime. The Mob was also in bed with the CIA, another hater of the Kennedys, with the secret assassination plans cooked up during the Eisenhower adminstration to kill Fidel Castro. Castro, when he took power in 1959, had shut out the Mob in Cuba, therebye, cutting off their substantial profits from gambling. In late 1959, the CIA approached members of the Syndicate to plan a murder of Castro. This plan lasted a few years until Bobby Kennedy found out about it and furiously canceled any dealings between the Mob and the CIA....... But, the CIA and the Mob did not cease their plans. The planning of the killing of Castro continued, this time under even more cloak and dagger. The CIA had a healthy hatred towards the Kennedys ever since the Bay Of Pigs fiasco, when it believed the Kennedys had let them down by not supporting their plan better with military force. With equal parts hatred directed towards Castro and JFK, the Mob and the CIA could have easily decided that killing Kennedy was far more realistic than killing Castro. More would be gained by eliminating JFK and getting Castro later. So, it is very possible, that the sides were changed and killing Kennedy became the prime objective. The CIA could cover up the assassination conspiracy on its end, enticing any government investigation to go along with the lone gunman theory in the interests of the government and national security. And, the Mob could use its expertise on random killings and bribery of law enforcement to achieve the goal of '''killing with extreme prejudice''........ This has been the strongest theory throughout the years, that the Mob and rogue elements in the CIA were in bed together to kill Kennedy. Among the most fervant believers in this idea was none other than Robert Kennedy. He publicly backed the Warren Commissions findings, but, privately scoffed at it. Those closest to RFK say that he believed the Mob killed his brother, namely New Orleans Godfather Carlos Marcello, who was high on Bobby's ''get list''. Those same friends believe that had Bobby lived he was going to open the investigation again himself, and focus on who really killed his brother....... Now, fifty years have passed since our elected President was shot. No concrete proof has been established on who or whom really killed him. There has been no one who has come forward and claimed to know the truth of who the killers truly are. In a strange way, this supports the lone gunman theory, that Oswald did it. The fact that in all of this time, no one who was involved in any conspiracy to kill JFK has stepped forward with evidence to solve this biggest of riddles. Until this person, or persons, step forward, the official verdict in history is that Lee Harvey Oswald, at 12:30 PM, on November 22, 1963, in Dallas, Texas, fatally murdered the sitting President of The United Staes, John Fitzgerald Kennedy........ I still don't buy it. But, the fact remains, who did do it??...........

I Still Hate Yoko

On December 9, 1980, twenty-four hours after her husband was shot dead in cold blood, Yoko Ono had dinner with three people. They were Calvin Klein, Steve Rubell [ from ''Studio 54'' fame[ and David Geffen. The dinner was in a secluded restaurant in New York. The media and world's press had descended on Yoko's residence, the Dakota, since the shooting. Therefore,the sight of this dinner had to be discreet, away from the prying eyes that were still crying for the loss of a beloved public figure. At the dinner, Yoko was flying high. Those in attendance testify that she was in good spirits. She was in ''Yoko Mode'', meaning, that all she cared about was Yoko Ono. What was uppermost on her mind was promotion. The album she and her late husband had put out, which received a tepid response when released three weeks earlier, was now, in the wake of his death, selling like hotcakes. Yoko was very game to take advantage of this unexpected oppurtunity. She pressured Geffen, who had put out the album on his record company label, to market it anyway he could. All at the table knew that this tragedy would incite the fervor of the fans to buy it. Geffen, for his part, was on cloud nine. He had announced that shortly before the shooting, he had insured Yoko's husband for a million dollars. So, with the sudden death--- and, the outpouring of grief making people buy the album---- Geffen was gonna make millions. Yoko Ono was satisfied. She finished her dinner and then went  back to her apartment of grief, content on the knowledge that the album was gonna go through the roof...... On Wednesday, December 10, 1980, Yoko Ono was at the Record Plant, the famous recording studio in New York. She was with Jack Douglas, who was an old friend of the family and a legendary record producer. Douglas had just produced ''Double Fantasy'', the comeback album of Yoko and her late husband that had just been released. Yoko had convinced Douglas that he needed to come to the studio right away and work on a tribute project for the murdered rock star. Jack Douglas, one of the nicest and most honest men in the music business, was so full of grief about what had happened 48 hours earlier, that he agreed to do it as a special favor to Yoko and, also, to honor the memory of his fallen friend. When Jack got to the studio, Yoko was full of her typical zest. She wanted Douglas to take the song her husband was holding when he was shot down, ''Walking On Thin Ice'', a Yoko single, and intercut classical music along with snatches of dialogue from the famous couple. Jack Douglas, with tears streaming down his face, complied, because, as he later stated, he thought he was still serving and honoring his friend. While Yoko chain-smoked constantly, Douglas finished the editing job. Yoko was happy. Now, she would have a hot single to release to coincide with the continued mourning of her husband...... Meanwhile, across town, John Lennon was being cremated. Cremation was a horror to Lennon. He had given instructions that he wanted a proper burial. Yoko, not for the first time, but, certainly for the last, overruled his wishes........ I am among the legion of people who hate Yoko Ono. The two examples above are some reasons. I saw the beginning of David Letterman the other night and they used Yoko Ono in the ''cold opening'', which is the comedy bit shows do before the opening credits roll. The bit was funny. Then, I saw that she was gonna be the musical guest on the show. She was gonna sing!!! Not wanting to waste any time on this woman  I quickly turned off my set. But, lying in bed, I kept thinking how history changes the perception of people. Once reviled, now Yoko is, well, not beloved, but accepted. Her music, if you wanna call it that, is called in some quarters, as pioneering. The ''New Wave'' groups of the early 80's cite her as a prime influence. As I write this, the song Lennon was carrying when he was shot, Yoko's ''Walking On Thin Ice'', has been rereleased as a dance song in clubs. And, it is a hit now [ despite Yoko's aggressive hustling of it after John's death, the single failed to chart]. Now, Yoko Ono, age 80, is an admired musical person. I know, its unfuckinbelievable....... John and Yoko met in November of 1966. By his own estimation, Lennon was on an acid binge for three days. He was invited to an avant garde show by some Japanese artist named Yoko Ono. John went thinking that this show was some kind of prelude to a sexual happening. He was disappointed. However, he was intrigued by the art and the artist. They met that night and stayed platonic friends for 18 months, until, one night in May 1968, they became lovers. From that night on, they became the team of John and Yoko. They used promotion to sell anything from her bullshit art to peace slogans. Their most famous ''happening'' were the ''Bed Ins For Peace''. There were two of these events and they were advertisements for peace. And, they were advertisments for John and Yoko........ Much of their history, mostly public, has been exposed by the media for years and years. All of their hijinks were out there for the public to judge and either applaud or condemn. I always spilt the line of these events. Some things, like the peace movement and hope for a better world, I agreed with. But, other things, like their foolish embrace of leftist politics in the early 1970's, spoke badly for them. However, a person is allowed to live their lives in any way they seem fit, so, unless they were hurting someone, I always felt, whatever gets you through the night..... But, the Ballad Of John And Yoko ran much deeper. I'm not talking about her bad art and music, or, how his music and art suffered after they became a team and husband and wife. No, I was always disturbed about the amount of obsessive control Yoko had over John. Many Lennon fans do not want to believe Yoko controlled him, but the evidence is so heavy in that direction that it cannot be dismissed. In all of the interviews the couple gave during John's lifetime, he always talked about how he fell head over heels in love with Yoko and was willing to give up everything to be with her. He certainly did. His public image never recovered from 1968 until his death. On the day he died, he was still thought of as a nutcase in some people's minds. But, if you read those very same interviews in which John talks about falling in love with Yoko, nowhere, in any interviews they gave together, does she talk about when she fell in love with him. Clearly, he was more besotted with her than she was with him....... So, then, what were Yoko's feelings towards John? Did she use him amd exploit him? Well, yes, she did. Not being in Yoko's mind I cannot read her true emotions and thoughts. But, her actions observed by those close to the couple always maintain that she held a viselike grip on him. First, when they got together, she alienated John from his son, Julian. Then, his family. Finally, she went after the elephant, The Beatles. It is no coincidence that the band started to fall apart just when the couple got together. John brought Yoko to the studio when the boys made their music [ a practice prohibited before to wives and family] and Yoko sat right by John. At first, the other Beatles treated her with politeness. She was, after all, John's girl, and, who knew if she would be around long? Well, she was gonna be. And, that is when the tension started. First, it was George  who spoke out against her, and, then, Paul. Fights, bad feelings, and a general awkwardness spread into the group dynamic and ate at its core. Paul and George grew to hate Yoko and her domineering influence over John. He changed. Suddenly, this strong-willed man, who had been the others idol and leader they worshipped, was a lapdog to this crazy artist with strong opinions about their music and themselves personally. John tried to play referee. These were his dearest friends fighting with the love of his life. But, finally, he had to choose a side and he chose Yoko. Also thrown into this bizarre atmosphere was Yoko hooking John on heroin. John Lennon was no saint when it came to drugs. He abused all drugs. George Harrison always maintained that Yoko truly got a full hold on John as a person by getting him on smack. Yoko, of course, denies it. With all of the negative vibes swirling in the air, John's heroin addiction drove him into complete dependence on Yoko. In time, about a year and a half later, John announced to the group during a meeting that he was quitting. The others were shocked and tried to talk him out of it. John and Yoko ran from the room, with Yoko shouting as they left, ''Its over!!''........ In 1970, John Lennon and Yoko Ono went to America and into primal therapy. The heart  of this psychoanalysis is that a patient is taken back into the source of his or her pain and tries to scream out the pain. John was deeply haunted by his childhood. His father left before he was born and his mother left him in the care of his Aunt Mimi. Later, John would establish a realtionship with his Mum but she was killed by a drunk driver when he was 16. He never got over the pain of her death and his parents abandoning him when he was small. John always was looking for a Mother substitute, someone who could tell him what to do and protect him against the bad people in the world. Here, the aggressive Yoko, fit the bill to a T. She became not only John's lover but his protector and Mother replacement. So, when primal therapy came along the couple jumped on it, believing John could possibly exorcise his anger and suffering from childhood. The therapy was a success in that John did confront some issues he had hidden in his mind for years. He never, though, shook his feeling of loss when he was young....... Primal therapy exposes one's soul. All of the agony is wide open to be analyzed. Whomever witnesses this unleashing of the human soul will grasp where a person's most vulnerable feelings are. Yoko Ono was right next to John when he opened up his soul. She now knew his deepest fears......... From 1971 on, John Lennon was under the full control of Yoko Ono. She made him move to New York [ which, it must be said, he loved]. Never again would he set foot in England. Never again would he see his Aunt Mimi and other family members. It would be years between visits with his son Julian. Yoko even distanced the other Beatles from him, not telling him when one of them called or was in town. She held him on a short leash and monitored everyone he spoke to and saw. That is how he got involved with the Radical Left of Jerry Rubin and Abbie Hoffman. These fools stuck to Lennon like glue and brought the heat of the Nixon government after John. Sure, John enjoyed baiting the squares and lighting the fires of controversary. The old John still rose up at times and he was truly himself. But, after a while, Yoko would swoop in and John would go back to being the smothered baby......... 1975 brought the arrival of their son, Sean. Yoko told John that if she had to carry the baby for 9 months, then, after he was born, it would be his responsibility to raise the child while she played businesswoman. Basically, they exchanged sexual stereotypes. John took to this, lovingly raising Sean for his first five years. The couple had many miscarriages prior to Sean, so, John did not want any distractions when it came to rearing him. This plan went hand in hand with Yoko's domination plan, so, all bases were covered. For five years, John became a hermit behind the enormous walls of the Dakota. While he relished bringing up his son, he also became a frustrated musician because Yoko told him no making of music during this time. That is why John Lennon never made music during the bulk of the 70's....... The dirty, dark fact no Lennon fan wants to admit to is this. John Lennon wanted to be dominated. He was a very smart person. He knew when someone was conning him and taking advantage of him, whether it was a groupie or the Maharishi. He willingly went along with her plans for him because, at heart, he was a very scared person. Yoko Ono provided with that screen of security that kept the rest of the world away. Even his closest friends and family. When John made his deal with his Devil, Yoko, he knew fully well what she was doing. And, he accepted it. This is the saddest thing about John Lennon, apart from his death...... Then, he was shot. Yoko was right in front of him. She screamed and pleaded for him to survive. Of course, he didn't......... So, as the years have gone on, Yoko Ono has been transformed from the homewrecker- con artist-evil witch public persona to the grieving widow. And, she has found the respectability and love from some people denied her when John was alive. She lives and markets the pity well, I grant her. But, when you compile all of the evidence I still hate her. I really don't believe she loved John. I think she used him for his fame and fortune. She denies these charges, naturally. But, again, the evidence is overwhelming....... So, she can be a hitmaker at 80, with appearances on shows that show off her good will. I don't buy it. She still is the same hustling figure she always was......

Twerking

I have never tried twerking. I want to. As God as my witness, from the strongest regions in my soul, I want to twerk. I need to twerk. Something in my life is amiss and I believe it is the lack of twerking. Maybe, just, maybe, my time will come...... Sticking your ass up in the air in a sexual way is as old as life itself. It started in the caveman days, when the madame cavewoman--- and, sometimes, her mother and father--- would bend over and a stray caveman, or, a rogue dinosaur, would see an opportunity and go to town. There was something about a lass starting up a fire by banging rocks together, with the added thrill of the drumbeat from the nearest prehistoric disco, that sent hearts afluttering and hormones raging. As humans developed, what we call twerking today evolved into more civilized forms of expression. Now, with the exception of a prison shower, sticking your bum into the air freely is part and parcel with dancing. Miley Cyrus has brought the old form into the new generation, while tagging it with a new name, the aforementioned twerking....... Music history has always flirted with the naughty and music. What was risque back when is old hat today. Elvis The Pelvis was denounced in schoolrooms and churches and town hall meetings for his suggestive moves onstage. He was swirling his hips [this was when he was lean and mean looking. In later years, the only thing he swirled was his rolls of fat] and drove the young girls crazy, because his moves always flirting on the outskirts of sexual invitation. It evoked stimulation with the girls, which in turn threatened their parents with the horrible thoughts that their little girl might want to get Elvis in the sack. But, with the retrospection of time, we see the old footage of Elvis and it looks quite tame and harmless. That is what happens with the passage of time. What was obscene back in the day is now a pleasant memory of a more innocent time. The Rolling Stones, who grabbed the baton from Presley in the 1960's when it came to making girls think dirty thoughts, now are revered by the very same establishment who wanted to lynch them at the time. The Doors, specifically, Jim Morrison, were charged with obscenity for their onstage antics. Had he lived, Morrison would probably be sitting at the Kennedy Center Honors next to the President. And, let us not forget the 1980's version of naughty dancing, Dirty Dancing. The movie will never be confused with great cinema and art. Patrick Swayze was no Brando. But, he did draw in the females with his body moves and sexual heat. This was quite talked about back in the day, for, like Elvis in his day, many public officials, who like to tell us what is good and decent for us, cried long and loud over these moves. My God, what a lesson for the youth, these dirty moves on the dance floor! How will we, as a society, ever go forward and hold our heads up to the world's scorn? Well, like the above moments of human outrage, Dirty Dancing became harmless and soon forgotten. Soon, another dirty dance came along--- I believe it was the Lambada [the ''forbidden dance'', you all] and societies knickers became twisted again with horror..... So, tie them all together and it leads to the chain of twerking and Miley Cyrus. This is, of course, the current dance, which means, it is not for you and me but the young. When us old hipsters starting shaking our tailfeather to the current dance, then it becomes old hat and the kids--- who always arbitrate on what is hot and hip for us--- have moved on to something else. The youth generation, which is the cradle of mass media, has always been one step ahead of the rest of society. Remember, when you were that age and older people started to act and say the things you were saying and doing? Yes, it felt wrong and you must stop doing it........ I do not foresee anyone older than a teenager or young adult twerking. If you do see them bent over and having their posterior in the upright position, two things may be occuring. 1. You may have interrupted an intimate moment about to occur. 2. The older person has fallen and cannot get up......... Why the outrage in some quarters? Well, it gives the media starved pundits a chance to talk about something that everyone will respond to. When you bring out the heavy topics of gun control, the debt, and possible war coming soon, many people instantly tune out. They don't want to talk about what is really important. They would rather wait for something easy to grasp and to form an instant opinion on. That is why more people know Miley Cyrus and her theatrics than know how their Congressman voted on the health care bill. Money may be seeping out of our wallets and were are slowly going broke, but, Miley must command the attention of the population. This is both sad and understandable. It reeks of sadness because the important things in life must be paid attention to. But, where it is understandable is that we all get so inundated by all of the problems of the world-- both our own and what fate gives us around us-- that we do need some kind of diversion. Something in our brains says, ''I can't take reality anymore! I need something mindless to think about, like twerking and are the Hawks gonna repeat as champions?!''. That is why the pop culture is the most powerful culture in the world. Throw an idea out there, see if it sticks, and reap the benefits of what you have sewn. It is like starting a rumor around the office that is unimportant. It builds in momentum and steamrolls into a more interesting direction. By the time it hits its peak, the little rumor is now a major topic of conversation around the water cooler........ Truth be told, Miley Cyrus and her little fuss is just about ran its fifteen minutes of fame. Twerking, and the misguided youth heading towards the Devil's grasps, will soon depart, for we are about six months away from another youth explosion. But, as I have mentioned in a recent blog, attention must be paid to Ms. Cyrus and her way of living her life after all of the fuss has died down. This girl, who was packaged as an innocent teenager until that grew stale, now is the sexy tart gone wrong. This, too, will fade quickly and that is the time for the people around Miley who care about her, if there really are people who do genuinely care for her, to be there for her when her career crumbles. She doesn't have the goods or talent to go long-distance in the entertainment industry. She will flame out soon. I hope she has a strong support system there for her. If not, then she will just be another casuality in the long list of child stars who burn brightly for a short time, but, burn out just as fast. And, most of those early flameouts do not survive.......

Hangover Blues

Ok. I will whisper this in writing. I know that it hurts to even focus at moments like this. When you mention all of the unpleasant feeling you are experiencing now, well, I have been to the mountaintop myself a few thousand times. You have the nasty feeling all over you and you are brittle. Your mouth tastes like, well, its an sour taste to end a less hardy individual. You have the pounding head, the shakes, endless gallons of gas brewing out of you, and the awful feeling of what the hell did I do to myself last night? Yes, dear victim of fun, you have a hangover. Let me try to help you through it with sympathy and style...... First, let me laugh at your misfortune!! Ha-Ha!! Oh, my, I haven't laughed that hard in ages. I laughed because it is kinda perverse pleasure to see someone else suffer on that same road to body ruin that I have traveled way too much. It is a little bit of, ''Thank God it ain't me!'' syndrome. But, back to compassion. I really do feel for you. I know the agony that a previous night's debauch can do to you. And, because I am a deeply feeling human being I offer you nothing but the best wishes of a speedy recovery..... Hangovers are a tricky thing to analyze. Sure, there is the standard medical explanation of why your body is suffering. Something about dehydration and internal abuse to certain organs. Fine, let the doctors play with their diagnosis. You do not want why you are feeling in the sewer explained to you, just how to pull yourself out and begin to see life again clearly. And, hangovers, goddamn them, like to fuck with you. They sneak around the corner like an stalker, awaiting the time to swoop in and bring you to your knees. I have had many nights---many nights--- on the sauce and I still can't figure out the next day's reaction my body will greet me with. Sometimes, I have drank gallons of booze, both hard liquor and beer, and, the next day I feel pretty good. At other times, I have had just a couple of beers before retiring and, BAM!, the next morning I feel like Sonny Corleone lying by the toll booth after the Barzini Family has ambushed him. Most hangovers do occur, though, because you have tied one on last night and your body decides that overabundance, while pleasurable at the time, will come back to haunt you badly the next day. And, you have that notion going through your head, even as you are trying to outdrink the country of Germany. Still, you do not pay much heed to this foolish and fast-leaving thought. Hell, I will stumble across that road when I come to it. I usually remember that thought in the morning when I am praying to God to deliver me from the pain........ My first hangover, I believe, came when I was in junior high. Myself and some other daring rascals got drunk on beer at a buddy of mine's house. His Dad had some beer in the basement. One Saturday afternnon, we junior Reservoir Dogs decided to pop open some cans and act like the big boys. Now, I come from a family of non-drinkers. My parents would hardly ever touch alcohol, usually at a restaurant, and, then never more than one or two drinks. My sister is not an imbiber, but, my brother was. So, the idea of me drinking kinda left me a little bit of an oddball in the family unit [ a role I have demonstrated, in various degrees, time and time again]. That day with my friends I'm sure we did not drink more than a couple of beers each, but, with no tolerance and still being too young for our bodies to handle it, I was sick as a dog that evening. I went home and, thank goodness, my family did not pick up on anything strange. But, I was throwing up the rest of the night. You would think, with this early experience, it would have turned me off of drinking. They say God protects drunks and fools. Well, I was drunk, but, too foolish to learn my lesson....... And, as I became an adult and went out into the real world of drinking, the hangovers went hand in hand with the good times. Once more, there were times when I drank a lot and nothing the next day. Then, the opposite would happen. For there is no proven cure of a hangover, despite what people may tell you, the only thing you can realistically do is just wait it out and let your body punish you for your foolishness. And, once the body is done, you can be sure that you will have the significent other person in your life to add to the misery. The one thing that causes real hate in any drinker is someone rubbing it in your face what a fool you are to do this to yourself. It could be a Mother, wife, girlfriend, or a judge, if you have been really naughty. The ''I told you not to drink so much'' school is not what you want to hear at that moment [or, ever, for that matter]. Just leave me alone, my dear love of my life, because if you don't, I will have to kill you after I'm doing with vomiting...... While you are waiting for your body to recover, there are some things you can do to alleviate your suffering. Fast food helps. Greasy food really does help your system because it tastes good, and, it will help your body cleanse itself faster by rushing through your system, if you know what I mean. For God's sake, do not exercise!! This is a terrible rash decision. I want you to live through this, not try to sweat it out of you. It is bad for your blood pressure and your system. And, what the fuck, are you a sadist or something? What kind of moron wants to exercise when you really feel like you need a priest to perform the last rites? I knew a guy once, who, when he was hungover, would go out and run six miles. He claimed he never felt better after the run. He did it every time he was hungover. I believe he has been dead now a good sixteen years....... The obvious thing to do, if you never want a hangover, is to either not drink, or, drink in moderation. I've tried both and it is not for me. I like drinking [ there was an old-time comedian, Joe E. Leonard, who said, ''I feel bad for people who do not drink because when they get up in the morning that is gonna be the best they feel all day!'']. Drinking has always been a fun activity for me, never a necessity. I drink for the social aspect of drinking, not because I am hiding deep pain or an addiction. And, truth be told, I do drink in moderation nowadays. In my younger days, well, there are many stories people have about me in an alternate state of being. But, rare is the time when I get hammered now, maybe, a couple of times a week, ah, year. Mostly, that has to do with age and your body not being able to handle the abuse anymore. I don't miss the wild times of going crazy. There was a time when I could go out and do the streets in the town very well--- and, bring the streets back with me if I wanted to--- but, now, it is a fond memory....... If you are hungover now and still reading this, well, good for you. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make the suffering go away. It will, just give it time. I hope you earned this feeling. I hope you had the time of times last night!!! Sit back, relax, grab some much needed sleep, with Excedrin migraine aspirin, and let your body play itself out....... By the way, if you are hungover now, why the fuck are you reading this blog?!!! Go lie down!!!!..........

Random Thought: September 2013

Forgive me. Are we going to bomb Syria or not. I have lost track the last few weeks finding the answer in the news. Which, the slight cynic that I can be at times, I find very interesting. President Obama seemed all worked up in a lather about this the last few months. The last few months of summer, by the way. That is usually the time [ like Friday evenings, late] when politicians like to slip something past the people and the media with as little attention as necessary. Why? Because it will be unpopular and, possibly, devious in nature. That is why I am cynical about the Syria story. Is this made up--- ala, the movie ''Wag The Dog''--- to divert another issue from drawing attention? Or, is this a legit story that we should be alarmed about? It seems, from the Gospel According To Obama, that the Syrian people are being gassed by their dictator President and his ruthless henchmen. Well, haven't we heard this story before about weapons of mass destruction being used to ''control'' the people with ''extreme prejudice?'' Of course, we have. It was the neighbor to the east of Syria, that ole rabble-rouser and former U.S. puppet Saddam Hussain and his playtoy country called Iraq. Remember, that long-ago war of 2003 that was gonna free the people of Iraq because they were being poisoned [ among many atrocities] by this tyrant? Yes, we are starting to have rerun wars now every couple of years. Same reasons, but, new players on the world chessboard. Meet the new boss, same as the old boss. Now, it seems the rush to war is slowly down somewhat [ which is good] and other avenues of direction are being explored to stop more violence from happening. The irony in all of this is that the Syrian people, like the Iraqi people before them, are genuinely in the clutches of a murdering monster who has no hesitation to play God with lives. People do forgot that Hussain DID have weapons of mass destruction at one time, and, used them freely. The same seems to be happening in Syria. But, because of the bungling of the last war, it is hard to believe if what is happening is in fact happening for real. Are we being played again for political power, mixed, as always, with Big Business? I don't know anymore which way to believe when it comes to government action. However, I do know one thing for sure. I am getting sick and tired of this country being the police force for the world, especially, in that part of the world. We have learned, long and hard, that these people in the Middle East are too irrational for us rational to have any dealings with. I said long ago that we should begin to extract ourselves financially from this area because it is out of control in terms of violence and human decency. But, we are still there, buried deep as ever, in the affairs of barbaric and unstable people........ While we play war games, the media, that bastion of public taste, looks for other areas to divert us. On the show business front, the big story for a few weeks now is Miley Cyrus. She is, for those that don't know, the daughter of ''Achy Breaky'' guy Billy Ray Cyrus, and the star of the kids show ''Hannah Montana''. The fact that Billy Ray was allowed to reproduce is a debate for later, when the topic of cousins having sex with each other is being discussed. Now, being of middle-age and having no kids, I could not tell you anything about when she was ''Hannah Montana''. I know nothing of fictional characters named ''Montana'' unless it is ''Tony Montana'' from ''Scarface''. Still, every generation has its young stars and Miley, all sweetness and cuddles, enjoyed her fifteen minutes of fame until her fans had grown up and dropped her. But, now, unlike in previous generations when child stars faded away, Miley has reinvented herself. Like Britney Spears in the early 2000's [ around the Iraq war, see it all ties in] when the ''good girl'' persona runs out of juice, then, you start the juices going in another direction with the ''sexy look''. Ms. Cyrus now is all gussied up and being the tart!! Well, in defense of her, she is now an adult and can do anything she damn well pleases. However, there is a marketing ploy being played here. It is all for show, at least when it comes to her career. Willingly shifting gears to jumpstart a morbid career, she does what many have done before. She is now ''shocking'' and ''obscene''. If you saw her recent performance at the ''MTV Awards'', beside her future felony crime hip-hop performers, she did what any smart manager and publicist advised her to do: she got tongues wagging and people interested. Sex, as we know, sells big time, especially, in the hormone driven teenagers that she covets. So, the fact she is still being talked about is a testament to her management and career advisors. And, to Miley Cyrus. She is too young, of course, to see what damage this will do to her long-term. She is the hot topic now, but, she has limited talent and will be off the world's stage soon. Look for a drug habit and Lindsay Lohan-type of behavior coming soon....... I have always hated when parents push kids out front on a stage and showcase them. Usually, the kid is forced to exorcise the broken dreams of stardom that the parents failed to achieve. Show business is filled with the child stars being manufactured and hustled by a money-making machine. For every Ron Howard, who seemed to have normal parents and is a normal person, there are the stories of abuse and drug addiction for the kids when the limelight goes dark. Picture a child star around ten years old. The world, which they know nothing about, revolves around them and they are front and center, being lavished with gifts and anything the heart desires. They are pampered and adored. They are spoiled and their actions are excused. The reason is the money is swirling straight from the kid talent. As long as the cash flows smoothly, all is well with the youngster. The public's tastes, however, remain fickle and short-termed. For every bright light of talent, there is another kid waiting in the wings. And, unless the kid star is supremely centered [ usually, watched over with love by caring parents] then the house of cards will fall very quickly for the kid. The spotlight shifts to the Next Big Thing. The public forgets because it is told to forget. The kid slides down from the unreal world of show-business to the harsh real world of life. That is when we here the stories of bad public behavior, also hand and hand with the kid discovering that the money they are earned is nowhere to be found. From the ''Little Rascals'' to Gary Coleman to the Brat Pack and Ms. Lohan, the cruel machinations of exploited children has many examples. It seems to me to force--- and, most kids are forced by someone to be showing off to the public--- someone out there to be groomed for stardom, is a form of child abuse. The child doesn't understand and is, therefore, a victim. Sure, there may be success stories and quality entertainment the kid provides. But, whenever I see a kid now who is drawing a lot of attention, I cringe a little and pray that this kid will survive the onslaught. Some do and end up on the stage as an adult winning an Oscar. Most don't make that stage. They make the morgue...... And, finally, on a lighter note. We have the Bears starting out the season 2-0. The two games they have won have been quite exciting to watch. The last game against the Vikings had one dramatic ending!!! Jay Cutler, whom I still defend as a player and not as a human being, rebounded from a potentially embarrassing fiasco to lead the team to a thrilling victory in the closing minutes. I was at Buffalo Wild Wings with some dear family members and the place erupted in jubilation when the final pass from Cutler scored a TD. That game, and its ending, is the reason I love football so fiercely. It is three hours of on-the-edge-of-your-seat thrills. This town seems to divide its worship when it comes to the Cubs and the other team whose name I can never remember. The Hawks have gained a wide audience the last few years, mainly, because they are winning and the bandwagon jumpers go along for the ride. That is fine, you might as well become a fan of a team and sport when they are winning. But, hockey still is not the all-dominant sport that football is. People watch the Bears, but, also watch other games happening and become fantasy football experts. The sport crosses all ethnic groups and ages and both sexes, which is always a welcome thing. Football has become ''America's Game'', replacing baseball long-ago. You prepare your week for the game, what with planning social occasions and food and drinks to enjoy while the game is on. Everybody is a football fan, and, everybody in Chicago embraces the Bears. Fall has only one drawback: it is the opening act for that dark time known as winter. But, fall also has the best of charms to it. And, the biggest is the three hours every Sunday in that grand old stadium by the lake. Go Bears!!!!!!