Number 12

The new thing on Facebook is to be given a number. Then, with said number, you give facts about yourself. For example, if you are given the number 10, then ten fun-filled items comes floating out. Now, I have been given the number 12 by the lovely Kathi Krueger, so, I guess I must join the club and divulge pertinant facts. Taking a page from David Letterman, I will start with the highest number and countdown. Hold on to your socks......... 12). I used to be a member of the Commodores. 11). I love watching Green Bay Packer fans try to figure out how to use a bar of soap and toothpaste for the three teeth in their mouth. 10). Every Sunday, I free dance to the ''Dirty Dancing'' soundtrack. 9). Has impregnated half of the ''women'' at the Schaumburg DMV. 8). I co-wrote the hit country song, ''My Heart Belongs To My Country, But My Balls Belong To You.'' 7). Every November 22, I wear a pink dress and pink pillbox hat. 6). My losing of my virginity is coming out on Blu-Ray. Titled, ''Thirty Seconds And That Will Still Cost You A Hundred Bucks.'' 6). I once ran a massage parlor with Mother Teresa. 5). I love to say the word ''Telemundo.'' 4). I spend most Saturday nights bathing the elderly. 3). I once ran a distance, nonstop, of 200 feet to catch a woman falling who was carrying a pizza. Don't remember what happened to the woman. 2). My first wife was Eydie Gorme. 1). I taught square dancing and ballet to Charles Manson........ So, there I hope that closes any questions that might be asked about James Patrick Scoleri, so christened....... Oh, I will add one more thing as a final postscript........ I would like to fall in love again........ For all of the bluster and sexual free-talk that I speak, I am at heart very romantic. For those who really don't know me and just see the humor, that might be another humorous line in the long list of my off-center mind comments and imagination. However, the people closest to me----- family and close friends---- they have seen the other me. The me that loves and respects women and all that they are. I am constantly amazed and fascinated by the fairer sex. I know what it is like to be a guy, so, new insights into human behavior from the male point of view are old hat to me. Now, a woman!!! The sweetness and pure heart and soul of a woman, that makes me feel alive and kicking!!! I have always been very proud of my associations with women, whether they be of a friendship level or a romantic angle. I love being in love. I have had many romances, some short-term, a few long-lasting. I have had the wonderous joy of a woman by my side and I literally feel my heart beating with a new life. Sure, some of that feeling is sexually physical. But, the other half feels the power of having a woman that you love and being loved back. Just about all of us have had that feeling, what I am saying is not new. You know, that jump, that incredible jump, of all-around passion and love. That is why when I come across someone who is in a long-term relationship without that passion, I feel very sad for them and my romantic heart cries out for them. Many people are with someone that they really do not want to be with, while their soul aches for the other half that is missing. People stay together for a variety of reasons, be they financial or waiting until the children have grown. And, that breaks a romantic heart like mine....... Part of being a romantic is discretion. I date privately, many people close to me have not met my girlfriends, or perhaps, a few have been introduced. Why? Well, I believe that love is a very special gift. It needs the discretion of privacy for it to grow and sustain. Also, maybe, I live my life in compartments. I have a family space, along with a friends nook. The most serious compartment is that love compartment. And, that is an exclusive membership. A lot have women have visited this place, but, only a select few have had a gold card. My family and friends understand this and are respectful. In time, I will let all of them intermingle. But, when I feel the time is right...... Sometime in the future I will talk more in depth about my true loves. A hint: one really got to me. She saw the real me ( not an easy trick) and loved me unconditionally. We were together for four magic years. And, then......... I hope to find another love like this. Romantics always sustain on the feeling of hope. A few friends of mine are in the same boat. We are no longer 21, when all of life is still in front of you and hopes abound. We are weary from the battle........ But, the war for love will never go away.......

A Final Sunset

The doctor delivered the death sentence, cool and with expertise. He must have said the same words over and over for generations. Just change the names and faces, but, the facts still stun and sadden. Claire had cancer. That most foul enemy to all people. It was no surprise, in a way, but, the words spoken--- without the warmth and feeling you would get from a loved one---- shook her to her core. And, James, her husband, steady, a rock, and a knight in shining armor, felt the blow also. Not as much as Claire, of course. She was losing her life. In a way, so was James. The doctor told her she had about six months, which really meant three. There was nothing more to be said. There were no miracle cures, no hope that she would bounce back. Chemo was of no use. She was going away soon...... The couple shed some tears in the office but managed to stay somewhat composed. The drive home was silent, as if the silence was a diversion. Claire, all 5"3 of her was shuddering a little but her eyes were dry. It wasn't until they got home and the dogs ran up to them that it all came out....... James and Claire had been married for 51 years. They were high school sweethearts. They never dated anybody else. The romantics they were, they always claimed that God had touched their love with a special potion and that potion made them one. It was very likely. Anyone who ever saw the two of them together came away with the feeling of two people united as one. They had the same sense of humor and the same loves in life. They loved children [ having 3 to prove the point] and animals. As the children grew up, there would be dogs running all over the house. Dogs claim a special place in any judge of character. There was also a tremendous attraction to the outdoors. Sunsets held the high card. Before the kids were born, when they were young, they would find their favorite tree outside of the house to lie under. Some people would bring spirits to enhance the experience but they did not need that. The natural beauty of the sky as God sent the sun off to sleep and brought out the magic of the moon was intoxicating enough. They would snuggle with each other, with James putting a protective arm around her. No one was going to penetrate that embrace. She was safe in his arms as she watched the sunset. Claire always felt warm and secure at those moments. Her head would naturally find a comfy spot on the shoulder. Before they had kids, this embrace and moment were the supreme summitt of their relationship. Young, warm, safe, and in touch with the great forces of nature. When the kids arrived one by one, of course, they joined that much loved embrace. A baby snuggled betweem them. With every arriving child, Claire and James would separate a little further from each other. That was okay, they gladly knew. In time, when all three of the kids were lying under that tree with them, all that was touching between the two of them were their fingers. And, a warm smile would pass at each other. That smile would be their silent rememberance of their twosome........ There was nothing really special about their marriage. They did what millions of people do who live ordinary lives. The kids grew up strong and good natured. The dogs slowly would die off, a traumatic time for the family. But, new dogs would take the fallen's place. As they aged in years, there would be the normal health issues associated with growing older. Blood pressure, cholesteral, etc. But, nothing major. Until that morning when Claire felt the bump under her arm. For a few days, she let it go. But, it continued to worry her and she finally went to her doctor. After a battery round of tests, the doctor delivered the thunderblow verdict of cancer........ Claire had just turned 71. James was a year older. His health, while not great, was of little thought of right now. Claire was dying and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. The doctor had told them that. With a heavy heart the children were summoned and heard the news. Tears flowed in waves. The children, not seeing the reality, determined she could be saved and she must fight the demon. However, reality soon came about and the little family had to accept the decision was final. There would be no intervention from above. God was calling Claire home. And, as the children swarmed her and cried their tears, James made the decision he had to. He was going with her........... James waited a few days before he told Claire. He wanted to check their finances and have all of their papers in order. And, he read his life insurance policy to see if it covered suicide. It did not, so, James made some moves to assure financial stability for the family. The house and all of their possessions were firmly in place to be delivered to their kids. It was then that James told Claire. He did not tell her verbally, but, rather in a letter he composed the night before.......... '' My Darling, Claire. You know I am not a articulate man. Never have been. You have teased me for years at being tongue-tied when I need to speak up!!! Well, I beg your indulgence this last time and let me express my thoughts to you in written form. From the moment I first saw you I loved you. I was only sixteen but I knew that my heart was beating for the first time. My eyes were filled with your fine, beautiful face and angelic behavior. From that moment on, there was no one else for me. And, you honored my soul and being by giving me your love back. I have never regretted for one single day our journey through life together. We have navigated all the trials and pitfalls that life gives us. Yes, sometimes, I thought we would go under. But, our love always showed us the way. It is a love written about in the finest of poems and the sweetest of songs. It is a love that transcends everything else in life. And, we have our children, the brightest extension of that love. Not a day goes by that I do not thank the Almighty for this love and the gift of you. I am a fortunate man. And, through this journey through our lives I have learned many things. The last thing, you can say, is that I do not want to go further in this life without you by my side. I want us to leave this life and start the next life together, our final journey. On one hand, you can say I have given up. Yes, I agree. On another, you can say that we have done all that we can here. Our beloved children are adults we can admire and be proud of. They have their own lives and can live them without us. There is a touch of sadness in me writing these words but also a relief. We aren't necessary for their survival anymore. They will be fine. And, I ask that we make the decision to take our next step together. Our minds are clear. It is time. We will miss so much. But, we have been given so much. And, we must let go. I cannot think of a better scenario than for me to greet God and all of God's magic wonders with you by my side, as I hold you close. Let us both begin this journey as we have begun other journeys: with love in our eyes and united as one..... Love, Your James''.......... Claire put down the letter and did not say anything at first. Because she was crying. He had been short in his letter [ so typical of him to get to the point!] and she didn't need more. She looked into his eyes, the eyes she had fallen into love with so many years ago. Those eyes always held kindness and understanding, never malice. And, then, she noticed, those beautiful eyes began to cry. Deep sobbing never seen by her before. He was crying from the very core of his soul. Claire knew he meant every word. He was willing to die with her. Slowly, she walked over to him. Her head bent gingerly towards his face and rested on his forehead. They spoke no words. And, then, she looked him directly into his eyes. Again, no words were spoken. But, a pact had been made with the silence. They would go on together......... The two questions that remained would be how it would end, and, most heartbreaking, how would they tell the children? The first part was decided easily. The second was delicate. They decided to say it straight out to the kids. No sugar coating and no retreat from their position. At first, they envisioned the kids not understanding. Then, when the children saw they were serious, disbelief would come. And, that was exactly what happened two days later when they announced their plans at a family gathering. James told them flat-out. ''We want to be together''. It was no reflection of any lack of love or devotion from Mom and Dad, just that they were tired and wanted to go to sleep. The girls cried, but, James Jr, always the most like his father in thinking, grasped the plan with some thought. James Jr. explained to his sisters that their parents needed this. It broke his heart, like it did theirs, but, there was a sweetness in Dad doing this for their Mom. They both seemed to be of sound mind and did not take what they planned lightly. After three hours, reluctantly, but, with the feeling that they would do anything for their parents, the kids gave in. They would not stand in the way of this final testament of eternal love........ The day it would happen was decided. It would be one week later. Claire was starting to feel pain again from her cancer, so, it had to happen soon. The night before, a Friday, the family gathered in the parents home one last time. There was everybody's favorite foods and plenty of drinks. Who cared about calories and hangovers!!! Tonight we live, for tomorrow we die. The family films came out, along with the favorite stories told throughout the years. No close friends had been told about what was going to happen, nor extended family. Just the kids knew [ they were all single]. Crying mixed with laughter filled the night. And, then, it was time to say goodbye. You can imagine the scene. There weren't farewell hugs, but, rather, bodies glued to each other. To let go would mean to say goodbye, and, as much as the event tomorrow was accepted, to let go would mean never again would they be together. Never again would there be birthdays and Christmas together. Never again would Mom make her special dishes and Dad to sing his songs. Never again. It was over. Finally, somehow, James and Claire convinced them to go. They would see them in their dreams........... The following morning James gassed up the car. Their departure method would be the old-fashioned, and painless, closing the garage door and starting the car. But, they planned on doing it in the evening, after viewing one last sunset together. They went out to the tree, the tree that held a small part of their lives. They sat on the ground and Claire found her spot nestled in the shoulder. James rested his head on top of hers. They didn't speak. The sunset spoke for them. Finally, after seeing this final burst of life, James and Claire went to the garage. The dogs sat in the backseat [ they weren't leaving this life without them]. The dogs had their toys and were kissed one last time. The garage door was then shut and the car started......... When they were found the next day by James Jr--- who had volunteered to serve in this capacity---- he noticed the dogs lying peacefully in the backseat. And, then he found his parents. Holding each other close, with Claire safely in James' arms. They had a peaceful look on their faces, as if they found supreme joy with each other in their final moments. The son began to cry. For his dead parents who were no more, of course. But, also, for the love that they had for each other, even to the very end. It made what had happened much easier to accept. He knew they were together somewhere. The dogs were running beside them. And, they were eternal........ That night, James Jr. and his sisters sat under their parents tree and watched the sunset. They smiled to themselves as they toasted the people who gave them a love of life and, now, a love of death. Funny, James Jr. thought, the sun setting has never seemed more beautiful........

Gay Is Happy

To my knowledge, the first homosexual I ever met that was openly gay was in an acting class I took when I was 22. Acting and gays have gone hand in hand for centuries, but, for us heteros, it also opened the door to have great access to women in acting. With so many gays flying around, a straight guy, like myself, felt like a kid in a candy store. But, I digress. Some of the students were either openly gay, or, you pretty much knew that they were a ''friend of Dorothy's''. At first, because of my lack of experience in dealing with that lifestyle, and, also, being a young male who constantly thought of women, I was a little put off being around them. My skin didn't exactly crawl, but, there was a noticable lack of interaction with them like I had with the straight people. And, let's not forget, when you are young, even though you think you know everything and have all the answers, you don't. I'm sure my arrogance and prejudice towards that lifestyle inflicted a certain coldness with them. In time, as I got to know them, I accepted whom they were and, while I still don't understand that lifestyle at all, I sure have embraced everybody's right to live their lives how they want to. I would never tell anyone whom they should be with......... As I've grown older and hopefully wiser, I have relaxed my personal biases. That is one of the great things about growing older [ there aren't many great things]: the ability to have an open mind. Not that you have to necessary agree with another viewpoint or lifestyle. There are still certain things that I will never embrace. But, the key of maturity in a person is the open mind. I will debate with the best and the dumbest. I will listen to their side, which can be both informative, and a complete waste of my fucking time. I will gather information to store in my memory bank, or, I will flush away comments as fast as I can. Unfortuantely, some dumb things still stick to my mind while other important details fade away. I used to know about the Theory Of Relativity. It is actually an easy formula. Not anymore. But, I remember Sonny and Cher were married to each other. Why I remember that and not phone numbers of people I love is a strange twilight zone world to live in. However, it all flows with the open mind to all information. And, life's experiences, as we all know, change us. What you may have believed at 22 may not apply at 47. Am I the same person now that I was at 22? I hope not. Because that would mean my learning has been stunted and I have not accepted all of the differences in life. And, homsexuality, once so alien and uncomforatble to me, has grown in my acceptance.......... I still do not have anyone close to me who is gay. My family and friends have all followed the straight way of living, as have I. I have had some girlfriends who had gay friends that I got to know. But, no one close to me, or, someone I have known for a long time, has ever come out of the closet. How would I react if such and such a person told me that they were homosexual or lesbian? At first, it would be a source of humor, as most things are with me. There would be the jokes and the inappropriate comments that only the people you love can appreciate. Then, well, I would think the serious analysis would come into the forefront. I would ask the person if they feel better and more happy coming out of the closet. I would hope that the answer would be affirmative. I would be looking at their face and hopefully to see joy and relief in finally being whom they always wanted to be but couldn't. There has to be a horrible feeling that you have been made to feel a freak by society and its bigotry simply because you have decided to travel a different way with your sexuality. Then, if they felt so free to talk about it, I would listen to their stories, not the sexual ones, but, the sad stories of hiding their lives under a lie. I would listen to their stories of ridicule and shame and condemnation by society and by their loved ones who shunned them. We have all heard the stories about fathers disowning sons because of their sexual orientation. We have heard the stories about ridicule from a person's peers that result in suicide attempts. And, as I would listen to these heartbreaking stories, I would, I believe, open up a part of my soul that would be protective of my new gay friend. I would see the light even clearer and with better perspective. Although I do not agree with their sexual practices, that is okay. They do not agree with mine either. But, they don't judge me or shun me because I am heterosexual. Why, therefore, should I judge them? The evening would probably end with us embracing and us closer than we have ever been. And, then, my friend would still be my friend, like  for so many years, and, we would share laughs and good times again. Would I look at them differently? Yeah, I would. But, it would be from an angle of pride and respect for putting up with all the abuses they have endured for years.......... There are some mistakes I think homsexuals do make. Some use their sexual life as a cause. I'm old-fashioned. Regardless of how one swings, I believe in privacy. It is no one's business whom you sleep with. Free will always triumphs in my book. But, the homosexual community is mistaken, I believe, to turn a personal issue into a political cause. Example: the Gay Pride Parade every year in most major cities. If I was gay I would be highly ashamed and alarmed by this parade. It is billed as a celebration of a lifestyle but it is actually a mockery of good intentions. Check out the floats and the behavior of many of the participants. They are acting so stereotypical and outrageous that they seem to turn off many straights with their antics and buffoonery. If I was gay I would be highly ashamed of the parade and would believe it sets the movement back. When you open something up to such ridicule you will invite the backlash. In short, if you act like an idiot, then, the world will treat you like an idiot. This cannot please most homosexuals. They must sit at home and shake their heads in disgust. Here they have been living their lives trying to have ''normal'' society accept them as ''normal'' people, and, then, these fools open up the old wound of ridicule. Take a cue from the heterosexual world. We have no parade. Most straight people use discretion. If gays believe that no one should be interested in what is happening in the privacy of a bedroom, then, they should start practicing what they preach. Yes, the issue must be addressed to a certain degree, but, do it in a classy and respectful way. That is how straight society will understand and accept. But, you are not getting the message out on ''Dykes On Bikes''............ The gay marriage movement has had another success, this time with the State Of Illinois passing the bill for gays to get married. I have never had a problem with this. My standard joke has always been that if gays want to be miserable in marriage like most heteros I know let them do it. I know many people who follow the Bible and the teachings of this most arguable book have issues with the gay marriage movement. They argue that marriage is between a man and a woman. I have always that marriage is for two people who love each other, regardless of background, religion, race, or sex. If a union is involved with two people who love each other deeply, who cherish the other person for making their life come alive and for stimulating them intellectually and physically, for being the other half of their soul and being the partner they want to walk through life with, then, if you want some legal document to have to make it official, then that is my definition of marriage............ So, for the bigots out there that see gays and lesbians as the big corrupters of youth, who see the fact that two people of a same sex are the devil, relax, no one is gonna threaten you and your life. You can still proudly wave the banner of your preference as high as you want. But, really, no one cares like you think they do. And, who knows? There is the old theory about protesting too much about something. Maybe, just maybe, somewhere in the deepest, darkest regions of your narrow mind, there is a little interest in this lifestyle. There are also the stories about ''macho'' men who spend their whole lives proving their masculinity, and then, they end up sucking dick from a Mormon in a Utah hotel room....... In the final analysis, who really cares? I don't. Neither should you. Let people live their lives the way they want to, as long as no one is hurt or taken advantage of. There is far too much hatred floating around this world already. None should be leveled at two people who are spreading the feeling human love........