Scoleri's Island

Like most people, when I stop to fill up the gas tank, I buy a Lotto ticket. It is almost automatic that I buy one. Sometimes, I pick up the scratch -off with the promise of a thousand dollars a week for life, other times I play the Big Boy games of Mega Millions and Little Lotto. And, there is always the slight optimistic thought that this is the winning ticket that I have been waiting my whole life for. The ticket that will finally even out all of the tight financial living that myself and my family have had ever since we were created. I do not come from a family of means, just love. I prefer the love over the money any day. But, the money would be a nice chaser with the drink. I delay any look into if I have won that week's prize. Let myself dream a little longer. Also, even though it is the rule of most religions to not ask God for that gift of winning [ though the church is not shy of asking for money at the collection plate] I still say a silent prayer for the deliverance from money worries. Finally, I will jack up the nerve to scratch that ticket or check my  numbers. And, I lose, every week. Maybe, I will win a free ticket with the scratch off but no great money intake will come my way. So, I have my disappointment, and, the next time I fill-up, I will repeat the pattern....... I would be a fun, rich guy!! I have seen my whole life people struggle and complain about what a hardship it is to have money coming out of every corner. Where is this corner? Because I want to be a hooker on it and earn big money. I'm not asking for the moon here, just a taste of financial high-living. My first act upon receiving money would be the sensible act of paying off all of my bills and the  bills of people whom I care about. And, then, I would stow away some money for that elusive rainy day that we all have heard about. I would not be one of these idiots--- usually, show business bozos--- who earn a great fortune and then piss it away on foolish behavior. Nah, I would build a solid foundation against any financial hardship. One must always be aware to pay the rent and have food on the table...... And, then, it would time to play!!! I would pull a Marlon Brando here and buy my own private island. Now, Brando had his in the South Seas. The weather is next to perfect there but they do have a tendency to have typhoons and other natural weather disasters that blow away paradise. Plus, recently, that area has been a haven for missing Malaysian jets. I would not want some corpses to wash up on my island when I am sleeping the well-earned afternoon nap. If I wanna sleep next to a corpse I will call some ex-girlfriends....... So, I would have to pick the next location for my island. The Caribbean seems logical. Great weather, nice people, ah, natural stimulants to while away the days and nights. However, there is a largely unreported crime element that roams in the area. A lot of tourists are beaten and robbed of their money by the locales. And, recently, professional pirates have taken over a lot of the free trade. I don't like pirates. I have never met one but I'm pretty sure they would look at me like I should be greased up and passed around the poop deck........ Because of my heritage I would probably follow my heart to the homes of my ancestors, Ireland and Italy. Ireland holds appeal because of the lush green lands that I imagine stretch thousands of miles. There is the beautiful countryside mixed in with the even more beautiful local pubs to quench one's thirst. There is the Irish lasses, who make every Italian male's heart run a Dublin mile. But, whenever I see the Irish country, laddie, the sky always looks like it is about to thunderstorm for the next two weeks. The panoramic view is ruined by this. If I want constant rain I can stay in Schaumburg........So, Italy would be the next stop. And, it would be the best stop for me. Why? Well, the weather is not perfect but it is a shitload better than Schaumburg, Illinois, 60193. You have history there, perhaps, the most interesting history in recorded, ah, history. The architecture alone makes one want to cream. In the mainland, you have the high mountains that cry out for a long walk or a ride on a motor scooter. Along the way, you will encounter my favorite part of any trip, the restaurants and cafes that serve endless food and endless red wine. Now, because of my healthy appetite, and, my equally healthy apathy to anything involving exercising, I would surely pack on the pounds, so, getting my own island would be wise....... My island off of the coast of Italy would be simple, for I am a simple man. There would be a small landing strip for either a plane or a helicopter to bring supplies and my chosen visitors. There would be huts all around the beach--- not to close because that would ruin the view--- with running water and the modern conveniences  [I am no fool, I would not live without certain creature comforts]. There would be very few clocks on the island because I would want to control the time according to my living speed. The ocean water is blue, of course, because the natural pollutants that make up a normal beach visit would not be a concern. I want clean water. Now, I normally do not want to swim in the ocean because there are things that could kill you [ever see a piranha or an octopus walking down Michigan Avenue?]. It is the world of the fish and I am no Jacques Cousteau. But, my visitors would be tempted by the beauty, therefore, I must have the ocean looking as well as I can. The sands would be white, clear white, with small little tables by the lounge chairs for you to nosh on your favorite food and tropical beverage. Fresh coconuts would be on the palm trees, ready for the picking. The crabs would be crawling along quietly, eyeing suspiciously the seashells. There would be a gentle wind blowing on this perfect day with a temperature a nice 82 degrees. The sun shining, the sky ever so blue........... I would be surrounded by my chosen people. My family and friends. There would be no party crashers to the island. I invite my crowd. So, there would be laughs and good times. Lets string a volleyball net up and play! Wanna play some baseball? Well, that field that I just had plowed is awaiting your first home run. The bar would be close by for any activity. I would hire the best bartender to make you a proper drink. Not a drink that knocks you on your ass but a drink that soothes your soul and takes you on a nice, mellow trip to Drunkland. Sorry, my female friends, but the bartender would be female. They make the best bartenders and it is my fuckin island. You want men, go win your Lotto prize!! But, the bartender would be nice and sweet and personable for all to get to know. I want good feelings at Scoleri Island, no hard feelings or petty feuds. We are all there to push the world away with all of its insane problems. Smiles are the daily wear....... The nights would rock with my own private club. There is the dance floor for those that want to shake their booties. Another bar to curl up in. And, music, sweet, sweet music for us to groove to. Paradise needs a soundtrack. Bob Marley and other reggae music is needed, but also the other sounds of the world. To me, Sinatra's ''Summer Wind'' is just a vital to hear as Marley's music. The old hippie ''Summer Of Love'' music, with Scott Mckenzie and The Mamas and Papas and The Lovin Spoonful. Slow dancing with your love, or, with your drink, is allowed. At some point, the music and alcohol and good feelings meld into a perfect whole....... You are hungry, you say? Lobster and other wonderful fish await your mouth. Now, if fish is not to your liking, I am batting around the idea of a Wendy's restaurant behind the bar if you have the 3am munchies. And, yes, to the faithful: there will be cheeseballs. You cannot have paradise without fried cheese........ I don't want to hear airplanes. I don't want traffic and congestion. I don't want the pushy public to walk all over me and my guests. That is the point of an island. So, I want people there to have the right attitude. You are there to have a good time and to turn off the world. The world and all of its problems will be there when we go back to it...... If we go back...... So, I have the plan for my paradise . Now, all I need is the winning Lotto numbers. Sadly, this is the hard part to accomplish.......