Little John

It seemed like such a strange day for the little boy. Something was not right in that big world of adults. Normally, the boy thought, they were all playful with him. There was his mother who watched his manners and taught him his first words to say properly. There was his Uncle Bobby, whom every child in the family always adored and climbed all over when given the chance. There were his father's friends, tall men who wore those funny uniforms of the army. As the little boy looked around, they all looked like they had been crying. And, this wasn't a day for crying, Little John knew. It was a day of celebration, particularly, for him. It was his third birthday and a big party was coming up later. There would be cake, ice cream, and all the toys that he wanted. Little John was partial to airplanes. Oh, how loved to pretend that he was piloting a plane--- zoom!!!---he would sweep his toy in the air, imitating the real plane he someday wanted to fly. So, the little boy felt the anxious feelings of the Big People all around him. Something was up, his mind repeated to himself. And, one last question: where was his Daddy???......... He hadn't seen his Daddy in days. For a small person, time is out of order. What seems like a short time , in reality, may be several days. Little John was used to his Daddy being away. Sometimes, the father would tell the son, he would go to magical lands, where people of all races and mixtures all greeted his Daddy like a King. One day, his Daddy promised him, he would take Little John [ whom everyone in the family called, never John-John, like some thought ] with him on these trips. They would see the fine sights in the world, with all of its glorious colors and shapes, with its big mountains and pyramids and bridges and buildings. Little John would love it all, his proud father told him. Especially, the airports. That is where the planes were held....... Father and son had a special bond. While Little John's older sister, Caroline, was the apple of his father's eye, John held a special place in his Daddy's heart. He was a son and his namesake. The little boy was a smart youngster, pointed out his proud father. A chip off the old block. Little John would have all of the advantages he could in life, his father declared, but, he would never be spoiled. The true raising of Little John and Caroline would be their mother's responsibility. The mother was guided by the love that all mothers and fathers are led: their children are everything to them. Little John's father was coming to this way of emotional healing. He had his politics and his life away from the family. But, having children changed him. Little John's father was raised by a cold and strict mother. And, his father, while loving towards his kids, was a thief as big as the world. In time, when he grew older, Little John would discover that his father was raised with very little love. Therefore, his Daddy spent most of his life in careless trysts, not feeling real love until he became a father...... They did all of the things that fathers and sons do. They tossed a ball. They played with his toys. The father loved the sea and took Little John in the water with him, teaching him how to swim and how to sail. As it so often happens, his Daddy became the center of Little John's life, his first true hero. The first thing that the boy would ask for when he awoke in the morning was where was his Daddy? And, as Little John soon discovered, his Daddy had a great playroom for an office. A lot of the Big People came to that office to see his father, so, the boy knew that his Daddy was an important man that everyone wanted to see. But, when it was just the two of them in that office, Little John was in Heaven. He would run around the joint like a kid in a candy shop. He would bounce on the furniture---- except his Daddy's rocker--- and he would play hide and seek under his big brown desk. But, what mattered most to the boy was spending time with his Daddy. And, his Daddy glowed in his son's presence. All it took was Little John to walk into a room, and the thousand mile smile of Big John would show its approval of love. There were special times in that room, just the two of them. And, lately, Daddy had taught Little John how to salute like the military people. Well, it wasn't much of a salute. He was not quite three yet. His mother said Little John had a ''droopy'' salute. But, the boy never stopped trying to get the perfect salute. Not for him but for his Daddy......... The last time Little John saw his Daddy was before his Mommy and Daddy took off on some big trip. A helicoptor had landed on the lawn of their big, white house. Little John would ride in that helicoptor with his parents to the airport. The boy was in tears on this day. He did not want them to go. Or, better yet, he wanted to go with them. The father gently explained to the son that they just could not take him today. It was a Big People trip. But, his Daddy promised, his parents would be home by Sunday. And, the next day, boy, there would be a big celebration for Little John because it was his birthday!!! Little John calmed down. His parents left him in the helicoptor with his adult friend who was guarding him and Little John watched his parents get into the Big Plane. Soon, he would hear the sound of his Daddy's airplane fly overhead. Whenever he heard that sound, the boy would smile. He always loved the sound of that plane. Daddy's plane........The following day, a Friday, is when Little John began to hear and see things that confused him. The Big People, normally so happy, looked like they were crying. And, everybody was hovering around him---- his nanny, the men who guarded his family, his Daddy's friends. However, being so small, his attentions soon wondered to other pursuits. He played with his toys. He played with his sister. And, he was very pleased when his Mommy came home early from her trip. He saw her on the Saturday morning and ran into her arms. But, Little John also noticed that his Mommy had the same red eyed look that the other Big People did. Like she had been crying. After he hugged her, he naturally asked where Daddy was. Mommy said he was away for now. Little John accepted this and went on with his day........ By Saturday afternoon, Little John was gathered with his sister, Caroline, and his Mommy. Mommy had a serious and painful look on her face. And, then she spoke words that Little John heard but did not understand: His Daddy had been shot by a bad man in Texas and had died. He was now in Heaven with God. Caroline immediately started crying. Little John remained blank faced. Death had no meaning to him. If Daddy was in Heaven, that was ok. It was just another trip. He would be home soon........ Monday morning. It was very cold that day. Mommy told Little John that they were going to a special parade for his Daddy. Immediately, Little John was excited. He would see his Daddy!!! No, his Mommy stated, Daddy was in Heaven with God. Again, Little John did not grasp that meaning. But, he dressed up in his little outfit that Mommy had picked out for him and went with Caroline outside to see the parade. He didn't wear his gloves in the bitter cold because his Uncle Bobby said that boys don't wear gloves........ Little John watched the big box being carried by the Big People. Those military people with the funny uniforms. Mommy had told him that his Daddy was sleeping in that box. Little John wanted to see but he was told it wasn't possible. So, disappointed, the boy watched the big box go up and down the stairs and wheeled across the streets. And, Little John noticed a very strange sight: there were thousands of people on both sides of the street and down the street all watching that same box with his Daddy in it. How odd, he thought. When the box came close to where he was standing with his sister and Mother, his Mommy leaned down and said, ''John, why don't you salute Daddy and say goodbye.'' Immediately, John Fitzgerald Kennedy Jr. raised his little right hand to his forehead........ The salute was perfect. It went up quickly and cleanly, just like the military people do. Hours and hours of practice with his Daddy had paid off. But, with this salute came realization for the boy. For the first time since being told that his Daddy was gone, the full meaning of the day and what happened seemed to register on the boy's face. Sadness crept into his eyes and little mouth. He seemed like he would cry. Somewhere, in his small child's mind, it finally struck him that his Daddy was no more and that he would not see him again. There would be no more playing under his desk. They would be no more swims in the ocean. And, they would not play with airplanes anymore. The boy grew older that day, at that moment. It was a moment forever seared into the boy. And, the world........ Around him, as he saluted, pain swept among the Big People. His Uncle Bobby, standing behind him, had his face twist in pain. The crowd watching the family directly across the street seemed to stagger, as if physically struck by the force of the salute. And, the viewing public around the world cried. No other image from that sad weekend when we lost our President has ever resonated more that Little John's salute. To see a little boy, who idolized his Daddy, have such a traumatic moment, was beyond human grief. Anyone who has ever witnessed this moment will never forget it......... That evening, Little John had his birthday party. He was himself again, tearing open all of his gifts, enjoying his new toys. The other young children were his playmates, screaming and whooping it up like little kids should. And, the adults, despite their private pain, made the supreme effort to have fun. The party was a success, by most accounts. But, there was one chair that was empty. The most important chair........