Is It Safe?

There is a terrifying moment in the 1976 thriller, ''Marathon Man''. The hero---or, victim---played by Dustin Hoffman, is strapped to a dentist chair. The villain----or, sadist----- standing in front of him is played by Laurence Olivier. Olivier, all icy venom, is a runaway Nazi looking for some vital information. He believes Hoffman has what he needs. Hoffman doesn't. He is completely unaware of what is happening to him, a victim of innocent circumstances. But, Olivier is determined to find out what Hoffman knows. He asks the weird question over and over again, ''Is it safe?'' Hoffman has no clue what ''safe'' means and pleads to the man in front of him that he knows nothing. Finally, Olivier, his character a Nazi torturer in his youth, picks up a drill and drills into Hoffman's teeth. The scene, horrible but still compelling to watch, is not for the fainthearted. I often think of this moment when I visit the dentist....... I went to the dentist today. I figured, what better way to spend a nice spring day than to have a stranger stick sharp instruments in my mouth while I drool uncontrollably. In some countries, this is a sexual practice. But, here, it is the usual marching orders of getting your teeth checked. Now, I am very lucky with my teeth. I have been blessed with strong, healthy teeth my whole life. You could read by my teeth in the pitch dark. Obviously, this is not because of taking care of my body. I have spent 50 years doing every conceivable thing to good-naturally harm my physical being. But, my teeth survive, a curious oddity. I brush my teeth everyday, like a good citizen should do. But, nothing more. They are just.....there..... a welcome companion in my endless quest for food. I must have 70 or 80 teeth in this vast mouth. More than the residents of Alabama combined. There are times when I smile that it looks like the shark from ''Jaws'' is attacking [By the way, that ''Jaws'' shark had anger issues]. So, when I put the evidence together, you would think a dentist would be a walk in the park. But noooooo!!!! I still fear going there........ The people at ''Dental Works'' make me feel at home. They are always happy to see me, as long as my insurance card is still working. The women at the desk are nice. I make sure that I always look at their teeth when I walk in. I will make a funny and they will laugh. If their teeth look fine, then I know I am in good hands. If their teeth look like the two guys in the rape scene in ''Deliverance'', this gives me pause. Fortunately, they have good teeth, which tells me that the dentist, at least, takes care of his people. I wait to go in. I always seem to wait at the dentist, they never take me on time. When I go for my regular physical at my health doctor's office, they always take me early. I chalk this fact up to my doctor being very anxious to feel my balls. But, the dentist's office makes me wait and it is agony. The nervousness gets to me. Maybe, it is intentional, a mind game being played by the dentist. Finally, I was called into the office. I took my spot on the chair. The hygienist's name was Lisa. A winsome lass, Lisa proceeded to talk my ear off for the next 45 minutes. She was pleasant. Friendly. She talked about her car needing a new transmission and how she didn't know what to do because she is no good with her hands, which scared the hell out of me as she was picking away at my teeth. Lisa said that she and her husband were trying to get pregnant but having no luck. I tried to be encouraging and optimistic between bits of drooling, saying that I'm sure that it will all go well. Of course, I don't know that it will go well, not knowing the couple. I didn't think it was wise to ask her if he is shooting blanks as she was scrapping my gums. It was around this time that I think about the ''Marathon Man'' scene. I just hope Lisa doesn't ask me if it was safe.......... There is no dignity to a dental checkup. You just sit there like a fool, while gallons of saliva come out like an oil well that has been tapped. I was getting spit from the deep recesses of my feet, I believe. All the while, the patient and encouraging Lisa, was chatting away and asking me questions. My garbled responses were hopefully seen as agreement. She said that my teeth looked good but my gums were too sensitive and were bleeding slightly. Gee, I wonder why? Perhaps, it was that sharp blade that kept sticking into them. I do like the suction hose they use to clean out the spittle. I could use that instrument on cold, lonely nights at home. And, the tasty, sweet freshener that she spread around my mouth. It tasted like Sweet Tarts. I asked her, how much for the freshener and the laughing gas as a six pack? She laughed---and then came at me again with the instrument to scrape my teeth. After she was done, she asked me about how often I floss. This is always a high point for me going to the dentist, the yearly lying about me flossing. With a straight face, I told her that I do it sometimes, but, not regularly. After a moment---knowing full well that she knew I was fibbing---- I said, ''Lisa, you are a nice lady. I'm not gonna bullshit you. I HATE flossing and I NEVER do it!'' She said she appreciated my honesty----and then, dove back into my mouth for one more round of teeth scrapping........ When Lisa finished her duties, it was time for the dentist to come in. He is an Indian gentlemen, one of those doctor's that use every letter in the alphabet for his last name. He came in, all nice teeth, and, literally, took about 90 seconds to talk and exam me. After the quick search in my mouth that my choppers were there, Dr. Alphabet pronounced me good to go. No cavities!!! The gums looked fine!!! WELL, THANK YOU!!! I will take this drive-by exam!!! See you in six months!!!! The only negative was his refusal to give me any novocaine for the road......... So, I said my goodbyes and made my next appointment for six months, which I will probably not keep. I still am nervous about going, even with the positive results. I shouldn't be, I know. When I go there, I know it is ''safe''.......

Through The Ages

Lillian sat in her room with her memories. At her age---- 90 years young----she had a lifetime of experiences that settled comfortably in her mind. Lillian thought it was a life well spent. She and her husband----the late, great Chester---- raised a good brood of children. She was proud of them. All were good kids. And, all had better kids, for Lillian became a grandmother and a great-grandmother. Lillian had seen much in her 90 years. A Great Depression. A World War. Several smaller wars. Television. The Internet. The Space Age. All of the achievements and miracles of the 20th Century, Lillian saw through her eyes. Except, one. She had never seen the Chicago Cubs win a World Series. Oh, she had seen them play in a few. But never to any successful conclusion. She and Chester regularly attended the ballgames at Wrigley Field. They sat in the bleachers, ate the cheap ballpark hot dogs, drank the warm beer. And, they bonded with their fellow ''Bleacher Bums.'' Chester was a die-hard fan who taught her the love of the game. When he passed away 12 years ago from his cancer, he made Lillian promise him that he would be buried in his beloved Cubbie blue attire. And, he was!!! It was a sight!!! Dignified Chester, a handsome man who looked like a movie star, lying in his casket, with his Cubs jersey [Number 14 for Ernie Banks] adorning his frame, as if he couldn't wait to show Saint Peter his Cubs ardor. Chester went to the next world bringing his passion with him. But, in this world, Lillian still kept the old dream alive. For both of them. As age caught up with her and she was moved to the retirement home that she was currently inhabiting, Lillian watched her Cubs. Not only for her. But for Chester. She wears one of his old Cubs shirts when she does. His smell is still there.........Two doors down from Lillian, at the home, sat Malcolm. He had just turned the ripe old age of 98 recently. Malcolm lived alone, too, with his memories. Malcolm never married----the right woman did not exist for him---- but he was well-loved by his family and friends. Malcolm has an imp personality, a sparkle in his eyes, and a ready smile that lights up the retirement home. He is the person everyone comes to for a quick laugh and a feel-good moment. He had several jobs in his life. Not because he couldn't hold one down, but, rather, being a black man, he had to make do with what he could in the pre-Civil Rights period of this nation. He was a barber, ran a small restaurant, opened his own travel agency, and finally, became a Civil Rights attorney, championing the rights of the poor and neglected. Malcolm identified with the forgotten because of the enormous barriers he had to overcome. The biggest was his inability to play in Major League Baseball. Malcolm was a hell of a pitcher. His fastball came at you like lightning, blinding all hitters and making them seem helpless at the plate. But, being black, no scouts in the majors would touch him. Major League Baseball---pre-Jackie Robinson--- was an old-boy network, meaning old-boy, rich, white businessmen, who wanted nothing to do with black players. Never mind how the Negro Leagues flourished throughout the years. Black men could not crack the color barrier. Malcolm found playing time with the Kansas City Monarchs, the premier Negro League team of its time. He played often the first few years in his twenties. But, a nasty pitching injury forever silenced his budding baseball career and he dropped out of the league at the age of 25. It was then that Malcolm started his other career, finding his spot in the world. However, old dreams never really die, they just settle uneasily in your soul, awaiting the spark of life again. Malcolm follows baseball now and his Chicago Cubs. Partly, as a fan. And, partly, for what might have been had fate been kinder to him......... Marion cries often. The other residents in the retirement often hear her sobs night after night. Marion lost her son twenty years ago, when she was 50. But, to her, it seems like it just happened yesterday. Some drunken fool killed her baby boy in his fifteenth year of life. Her son, Billy, named after her favorite Chicago Cub player Billy Williams, was the apple of her eye, the sun that shined over her soul everyday. The two of them were rabid Cubs fans, always turning into the games on WGN with Jack Brickhouse announcing. The words ''Beautiful Wrigley Field'' resounded around their picturesque home in every game watched. Most of the years of Billy's life, the Cubs were pretty awful. Only two times in his life did the Cubs win and go to the playoffs. They lost but the seed of hope always reigned eternal for both Mother and Son. That fateful night in 1996--- when the police turned up on Marian's door and told her that her world was over--- is what Marian cries about mostly. From 1996 until now, she has never been the same. Her late husband and other children tried to rally her. It was a losing cause. Marian had lost everything with her Billy. It is said that when a child dies before a parent, even God cries. Marian had no thoughts on that. She just knew with Billy, the light of life went out, never to return. As the years went on, Marian lost the will to live. And, she her mind left her. Despite the best medical treatment available to her, her family lost her. She would not---and, could not----return from her darkness of grief. Finally, the family committed her to a retirement home. They still come to see her. Every once in a while, they see a glimmer of the old Marian. Still, these are fleeting moments. She sits and stares into space. And, she weeps her agony every night. The other residents keep a respectful distance from her. They know her pain. And, they wish they could help. It is of no use. But, the patients and staff do notice one thing about Marian. A little life does come into her eyes. When the Cubs are on....... There is a bond between grandfather and grandson that is special. Generations have met, love has been passed forward from the past. Whether it is a fishing trip, a simple walk in the park, or Junior sitting on his grandfather's knee, the bond of family achieves a sainted level. When Mort takes his grandson to Wrigley Field, he feels those stirrings of family most acutely. Mort is 87. He knows his days are dwindling to a precious few. And, his grandson, Steve, is no little boy anymore. Steve is 21 now, a dangerous age for a young man. It is the age where you are too old to be under your parents thumb, but, too young to be fully launched on your own in the world. And, like most twenty-one year men, you do not want to hang out with old people. Your friends your age are your passport to the New World Of Adulthood. Who wants an old man to tell you his war stories of life? Well, Steve does. He adores his time with his grandfather. They talk about their life and women and good times and women and times from their past and women. And, they talk Chicago Cubs.Wrigley Field is their spiritual home, a golden diamond in the world of confusion. They sit in the bleachers. They yell at the players. They cheer when a home run comes by them. And, they damn the Gods Of Baseball when the Cubs fail again. Every once in a while Mort will get that look in his eyes that Steve recognizes. That look signifies that a Cubs story from the past is coming fast over his memory plate. It might be the tale of seeing Willie Mays and Ernie Banks having a home run duel in the sunshine. It might be the almost grand slam that Hank Aaron hit but the wind blew back at the last moment for an out to end the game. Or, it might be the grandest memory of all: the 1945 World Series . Mort was there. He was a young man of 19. It was the end of the War and most of the good players in the game were overseas. The Cubs basically won the National League with a bunch of 4F's. But it did count. And, Mort followed every pitch in the Series. Steve loves when Mort recounts hearing the lovely sound of Phil Cavaretta, his favorite player, hitting the ball. The Cubs lost the Series that year and have never been back. But it is about to change, they both feel. When Steve drives Mort back to the retirement community where he lives, the talk of ''Wait Until Next Year''----that tired old refrain---- is now old news. ''Next Year'' is here. And, they both will be watching it unfold together. Grandfather and Grandson, united as family and Cubs fans........ There is a room in the home where Lillian, Malcolm, Marian, and Mort live. It is the activity room, the place where the residents go to have a little fun.The sun shines in there, the view is of a vast lawn. Sometimes, on nice days, you can hear the birds singing if the windows are open. There is a piano centralized in the room. At various time during the day, you can see a few of the residents standing around it, singing the songs of bygone days, the days of their youth and good times forever lost. Malcolm has the best voice. Lillian can still ''cut a rug''. Only Marian, in her sad world, can not be reached. She remains a blank slate of emotions and feelings........ There is also a TV in the room. Sure, the sound is very loud because of the hearing problems of most of the residents. At various times, it is on game shows, music programs, nature shows, and the news. With every show comes opinions and long stories. Some roll their eyes at the long talkers, and there can be loud arguments brewing. Then, comes harmony. That happens when a certain baseball team appears on the screen. Suddenly, a visible change comes over these old people. They seem to become alert and full of energy long thought gone. The years drop from them and glints of happiness form in the eyes. Smiles become a fixture and good-natured talking to the TV happens. And, in the most remarkable response, there are moments when Marian shows signs of the woman she once was. Her eyes focus on the screen, as if a light switch into her soul has been turned on. The other Cubs fans themselves become happy because they see Marian become happy. They talk to her. Whether she hears them, no one knows. But they like to think she does comprehend what is being said. A bond has been formed, the Cubs bond. They have seen plenty of baseball before, most lousy. The tide seems to have changed, though. The 2016 Chicago Cubs hold out such promise and fun that the residents share the enthusiasm. They are all rooting for various reasons. Most want the Cubs to win for those that are no longer there to see them live. The residents are the caretakers of generations of Cubs memories and moments of glory, both past and future. They want the Chicago Cubs to go all the way this year. Mostly, they grimly believe, because they are unsure if they will be around much longer...... Something tells me that they may finally get their wish this year........ Go Cubs........

''Say A Prayer For Our Country"

Robert Kennedy got the grim news as soon as his plane landed. It was in the early evening hours of April 4th, 1968, and the Senator's plane had just landed in Indianapolis. It was raining slightly, as a cool Spring air greeted Kennedy's party. But, the news they heard was hot, red-hot. It was news that would shake Bobby to his core. Martin Luther King Jr. had been shot to death in Memphis....... Assassination was nothing new to RFK. He had lived with the prospect his whole adult life. The reason was because Bobby Kennedy was a controversial man. He had made plenty of enemies in his time in Washington. First, managing his brother Jack's successful run for the Senate from Massachusetts. Being campaign manager meant doing the dirty duty, telling ''No'' to big-time donors and businessmen who wanted to secretly control the campaign, and, by extension, the candidate himself. And, saying, ''Yes'' to those who can help the candidate get elected. Politics, as we know, is a brutally dirty game, with deals made with various devils who swim in the slime around the power brokers. A successful politician  must stay above the muck of dirty dealings. He or she must be clean, the spotless knight in shining armor. But, behind the scenes, the tricks of the trade are practiced and they are devious. This is where the campaign manager becomes the hit-man for all that is ugly. And, Robert Kennedy did what he had to. He was the ''bad guy''. He was successful doing it. John Kennedy got elected to the United States Senate in 1952, and, again, in 1958, in not small part because of Bobby........ He made enemies then, and he made even more enemies. After the 1952 election, Robert Kennedy sat on the Rackets Committee, which investigated organized crime. The prime focus in the committee was the Mafia. Going after the Mob was treacherous territory for Kennedy because his old man, Joe Kennedy, was a former big-time bootlegger and companion with those that walked on the other side of the law. Big Joe made his millions getting his hands and soul dirty. Bobby was the cleanser. But, Robert Kennedy also went after the rackets with a genuine feeling of wiping out corruption. Henceforth, his work on the committee became a crusade. The public knocking of heads between Bobby and Jimmy Hoffa became the stuff of legend. And, when Kennedy resigned his post as Chief Counsel, he had mastered the inner working of organized crime. But, he had a target on his back from the wars. He was equally loved and despised for his endeavors. It was a pattern that would follow him all of his professional life....... As Attorney General to his brother, Bobby became even more controversial. He delved into the hot topics of the day, including Civil Rights. RFK became a pariah in the segregated South, with the systematic breaking down of the Jim Crow laws. Bobby became the champion of the underdog, a strange position to take from a rich man's son. But, he succeeded and became the protector of those that had no voice. He identified with them. Maybe, it was because he was the person in his family that was forgotten when he was young. Robert Kennedy was the afterthought, someone who would never achieve the heights that his more glamorous siblings were climbing to. Bobby fought against his position as a young man, which led him into fighting for all of those who were oppressed. Make no mistake, he never completely shed his Kennedy position of influence. However----- and this is key----- he used that position to benefit those who were not as fortunate. With his positions----and bucking of established laws and bureaucracy---- Robert Kennedy became ''Ruthless Robert'', willing to do whatever was necessary to achieve his goals. He was, again, admired and feared for this passion....... Then, his brother, John, was killed in Dallas. Assassination was a topic discussed between the two brothers often. They both knew it was likely. And, they both agreed that if one of them was gonna get it, it would be Bobby. He had too many run-ins to ever think he would lose his enemies. The Mafia hated him, white segregationists hated him, old political hacks and big business had it out for him. but, this was the role he chose as his brother's protector and shield. John Kennedy was beloved. Robert Kennedy was feared. The irony was that, personally, JFK was the cool customer, able to detach himself from other human beings feelings and cares [which is one of the prime reasons he compulsively used women]. RFK identified strongly with those whom his brother dismissed. The Kennedy administration---- and their moves forward in Civil Rights, peace with the Soviets, aid to the aged----all came from the caring and persistent heart of Robert Francis Kennedy........ But, it also must be said: Robert Kennedy was no Angel. He could be mean and petty. And, he was not above doing dirty dealings. When he found out about a CIA/Mafia plot to kill Fidel Castro that had been hatched in the Eisenhower administration, he protested the ways but not the means. He kept the operation going with hit-and-run missions and sabotage. He also, as Attorney General, wiretapped his enemies and those he suspected could hurt his brother's Presidency---including Martin Luther King Jr. He nurtured grudges and could act quite petulant........ After Dallas in 1963, Robert Kennedy was a shattered man. He lost his brother and idol. He lost all of his passion and drive. Part of the grief was Survivor's Guilt. How could he go on with Jack dead? Another part, more dark, was the nagging feeling that somehow Bobby, with his punishing of enemies and political foes, had brought on JFK's death. There was a long list of people who wanted to get back at the Kennedys, the Mob on top. Did Bobby's endless pursuit of organized crime bring the fall of John Kennedy? Did his plans to kill Castro backfire and bite that hand that fed it? Was his ''ruthless'' nature responsible and the chickens came home to roost?........ Robert Kennedy, slowly, came back to the living. In 1964, he became a US Senator from the State Of New York [even though he did not live there. Charges of carpetbagging flew fast and furious]. Even more than before, he identified with the disadvantaged and the forgotten of the world. New causes seemed to come to him and he embraced them with urgency. Indian rights, children's rights, the horror of those in poverty, and, above all, a growing opposition to the Vietnam War. Once a strong proponent of the war, now, he saw the folly it had become and preached against it. To his credit, Kennedy admitted the mistakes he and his brother committed in the escalation of troops. But, RFK saw his hated rival, Lyndon Johnson, bang the war drum deeper and louder, with no end in sight and he felt he must take a stand. Nobody ever thought Bobby Kennedy would just be a US Senator. He was biding his time until 1968 and run against Johnson and reclaim the crown that was once the Kennedys....... He came into the Presidential race in the spring of 1968 with serious misgivings. He knew he was a hated man. And, the country was deeply divided, with racial and social discord running out of control. There were those who stated that Bobby was the only one who could unite the country because he had such deep support among minorities and the young, anti-war crowd. But, big business hated him, the Mafia still had a murderous rage against him, and many people still questioned how devious ''Ruthless Robert'' was. But, the affection he had among millions was genuine. He was the Last Hope for a morally mindful population. Only Bobby could save us. The open question was whether he would could outrun the ghosts of his past....... That question came into brutal focus on the evening of April 4 in Indianapolis. Those around him say that when Bobby heard the news about Martin Luther King Jr. being shot down, his face turned a pale pallor. He could have only heard the echoes from Dallas that were always so close to the surface. But, Bobby Kennedy also felt grieve for King, his onetime bugging suspect. Kennedy grew to admire the civil rights leader and championed his causes. They were never friends. They were, however, fellow travelers on the road to human rights. The reason Robert Kennedy was in Indianapolis was because he was making a campaign stop. The Indiana primary was only days away and Kennedy needed the state to try to win the nomination. The campaign had arranged appearances all around the state. That night, he was scheduled to speak in one of the worst ghettos in the country......... His advisers urged him to cancel. It was too dangerous, it was almost all black people there and who knew what the reaction would be if he showed up. Robert Kennedy had spent his whole life seeking challenges and tests of his mettle. He would go there, regardless of his personal safety. Also, perhaps, he was going because he knew that he needed to be there, to try to be of some comfort in this terrible time. He arrived as darkness had descended. The crowd was happy, applauding this genuine hero to them. It became very clear to Bobby that the people did not know a thing about what had happened. As he climbed a small platform that had been made for him to give his prepared speech, he made a snap decision. He threw away the speech and decided to speak off-the-cuff. This talk came from his heart.... "I have some very sad news and that is that Martin Luther King was shot and killed tonight. Martin Luther King dedicated his life to love and to justice between his fellow human beings, and he died in that cause of that effort. In this difficult day, in this difficult time for the United States, it is perhaps well to ask what kind of nation we are, and what direction we want to move in. For those of you who are black--- considering the evidence there evidently is that there were white people who were responsible--- you can be filled with bitterness, with hatred, and a desire for revenge. We can move in that direction as a country, in great polarization--- black people amongst black, white people amongst white, filled with hatred towards one another. Or we can make an effort, as Martin Luther King did, to understand and to comprehend, and to replace that violence, that stain of bloodshed that has spread across our land, with an effort to understand compassion and love.  For those of you who are black and are tempted to be filled with hatred and distrust at the injustice of such an act, against all white people, I can only say that I feel in my heart the same kind of feeling. I had a family member killed, but he was killed by a white man. But we have to make an effort in the United States, we have to make an effort to understand, to go beyond these rather difficult times. My favorite poet was Aeschylus. He wrote 'In our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart until, in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God'. What we need in the United States is not division, what we need in the United States is not hatred, what we need in the United States is not violence or lawlessness, but love and wisdom, and compassion toward one another, and a feeling of justice toward those who still suffer within our country, whether they be white or they be black. So I shall ask you tonight to return home , to say a prayer for the family of Martin Luther King, that's true, but most importantly, to say a prayer for our own country, which all of us love---a prayer for understanding and that compassion of which I spoke. Let us dedicate ourselves to what the Greeks wrote so many years ago: to tame the savageness of man and to make gentle the life of this world. Let us dedicate ourselves to that, and say a prayer for our country and our people"....... The crowd left quietly, too overcome to do much but grieve internally. The Kennedy people also were shaken to their cores. They went to their hotel and gathered quietly, walking wounded who now had a new fear to try to not think about....... That night, in all of the major cities in America, ghettos were on fire. Rage at the King murder turned into rampant looting and arson. Property was destroyed, women raped, people beaten and killed. The story played out for all of the world to see. Every major city got hit........ Except, one....... In Indianapolis, it was quiet. There was no violence. There was no burning of buildings. There were no deaths. The city remained calm. In the deepest recesses of mourning, a beacon of light had been shown to the residents. And, that beacon was named Robert Kennedy....... A few days later, the funeral of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was held in Memphis. Thousands gathered and wept their grief. While many whites showed, most kept their respectful distance. There was still bitterness in the air and tensions ran high. Following King's casket were his family and friends and followers. And, there was also a familiar face. A white face. Robert Kennedy had been invited by the King family to march to the graveside. He, along with his wife, Ethel. They wore their emotion of sadness on their faces. While there was racial hostility in the air, when it came to Bobby, there was respect and love. And, hope. The feeling, unexpressed but very much felt, was, ''We still have Bobby Kennedy''...... Exactly two months to the day after Martin Luther King Jr. was murdered, Robert Kennedy's fate found him in a burst of gunfire at the Ambassador Hotel in Los Angeles. He had just given a victory speech in the ballroom of the hotel. It was a big win for him for he took the big state of California. After thanking his supporters, he left the podium and went through the kitchen trying to go to his room. Gunshots rang out and he went down. Whether there was just the one shooter or others has always been an open debate. The crowded ballroom converged on the shooter, Sirhan Sirhan. On the floor lay his victim, with several bullets in his body. Robert Kennedy said a few words before he lapsed into unconsciousness. The first thing he asked was, ''Is everyone ok?'' Then, those around him saw a faraway look on his face, as if he saw someone. His last word was ''Jack''........ Robert Kennedy would die on June 6, 1968, without regaining consciousness. A few days after his death, a train went cross-country, delivering his casket towards Washington, D.C. From all over, people lined the tracks, bowing their heads in silent prayer for the Last Hope. The people were of all nationalities and colors, a fine testament to a man who tried to bring people together as one. When the train finally reached the nations capital, there was a public service for Bobby. The main speaker was his brother, Edward Kennedy. Ted Kennedy's voice cracked as he spoke of his brother and the good works he did and the plans that never were to be. Finally, concluding his remarks, Ted quoted from George Bernard Shaw, the noted Irish playwright. It was a quote that Robert Kennedy had been using in his speeches as he ran to unite the country....... ''Some men see things as they are and say, 'Why?'...... I dream things that never were and say, 'Why not?' ''..............

John Belushi's Final Party: Part 1

Cathy Evelyn Smith knew her way around hard drugs. She had been dealing them to the stars for years in the late 70's and early 80's. Among her clientele were the Rolling Stones, The Band, and many Hollywood movie stars. At one time in her life, Cathy had been a promising beauty. Born in Toronto, Canada, she had been a back-up singer for many artists, including Hoyt Axton and Gordon Lightfoot. It was with Lightfoot that she would find love and heartbreak. It would be the best of times and the worst of times for Cathy as she got deeper into drugs, namely heroin. Eventually, she would break up with Lightfoot [the song, ''Sundown'' was written by Lightfoot about their relationship] and she would go from musician to musician, looking for love and stardom as a singer. But, her drug habit turned into an addiction. Her looks and behavior suffered, and she went from being a nice-looking, pleasant person, to a hard-faced, irascible drug dealer. She would have brushes with the law, popped a few times for possession and drunk driving. She went from man to man, each worse than the other, in the drug merry-go-round world she lived in. By March 1982, Cathy Smith was living on the fringes of show business, what some would call a groupie, while others would call a drug addict leech looking for a new mark....... John Belushi, in March 1982, was in the mist of one of his notorious drug binges. Belushi, famous for his comic genius and wild-man ways, was depressed during this time. He had arrived in Hollywood on March 1st determined to straighten his career out. John felt that he was being jacked around by Paramount Pictures over the script of a new movie he was preparing to do. The script, titled ''Noble Rot'', was a wine caper that John and his friend, Don Novello [''Father Guido Sarducci''] had been writing for the first couple of months of 1982. The script had been rejected by Paramount as not being funny enough. This drove Belushi into a depressive funk. His career has hit a few road bumps during the previous year, his two attempts at breaking out of his ''slob image'' from ''Animal House'' had not done well. Plus, he was overweight and not in the best of health. Unbeknownst to him, his body, his internal organs and heart, were of an old, sick man. This was because of his obesity and his years of abuse of his body. John Belushi had a well-deserved reputation as the King Of The Partiers, a man who outlasted everyone around him, a non-stop, runaway train of fun and good times.  His fuel was cocaine. Over the last several years, after his fame hit hard with ''Saturday Night Live'' and the movies, his drug use, once controlled, has gone into overdrive. While he had long stretches of sobriety, the nagging itch that addiction has for some never left him. It was a constant struggle for him to control his demons. Most times, he was successful, able to pull back his intensity when it got heavy. This was also do because of two key people in his life, his wife, Judy, and his best friend and partner, Dan Aykroyd. These were the only two people who could reach him, whom he would answer to and pull back from his partying ways. But, in March 1982, both Judy and Dan were in New York, worried sick about John and the cocaine........ The first few months of 1982 were not good for the Los Angeles Police Department. Corruption among the force----the taking of bribes and police brutality---- has started to bubble to the surface. A new wrench was about to be thrown into public view: some officers had been involved with underage girls. The scandal, not yet widely known but on its way, was the last thing the LAPD needed. The department, swimming in the Hollywood community, had long looked the other way with the behavior of movie stars. The power of the major studios guaranteed that nothing huge would ever erupt. That was why, for years, messy divorces and wife beatings and drug and alcohol abuse, never saw the light of day. But, the police were not happy about this preferential treatment of the ''stars''. So, with all of the scandal swirling around them, the police task force decided to strike back and get some goodwill going in the public eye. They wanted to go after the big shot drug celebrities, with their cocaine and limos and beautiful women. Undercover agents quickly zeroed in on the high-profile people to bust. They planned to use anybody they could that was close to a star in their quest. And, being the drug squad, there were plenty of snitches and drug dealers to use....... At 5am on Monday, March 1st, 1982, April Milstead got up in her Hollywood apartment to answer her ringing doorbell. When she opened the door, she was surprised and delighted to see John Belushi on her doorstep. April and her boyfriend, Charlie, had met John a few weeks earlier at a drug party. April, very beautiful to the eye, had a cocaine habit and dabbled in heroin, at times. She was trying to break into show business---like everyone out there---- for the last two years but was having no luck at it. The best she could do was hang around the fringes of the business, hoping for that big break. John Belushi, with his star power and money, was an ideal companion for someone like April. Plus, they shared a love of drugs and John always seemed to have some on him. But, April was surprised to see him, for he had left LA only a week ago for his home in New York. When John entered her home, he asked her bluntly if she could score some heroin for him. This surprised April because she did not associate John with smack. In fact, no one who knew him did. John was steadfast against heroin and was terrified of needles. But, for some reason, John wanted some. April said she knew of someone who dealt heroin, a woman named Cathy Smith. April would call Cathy and find out if she could supply John with his request. Satisfied, John left to go back to his hotel, the famed hotel of the rich and famous, the Chateau Marmont...... John Belushi was still determined to go after Paramount about his wine movie. The script meant everything to him, he had poured his heart and soul into the creation of it. The rejection of it by the studio was sharp and personal. John demanded, and got, a meeting with Michael Eisner, the head honcho at Paramount. Eisner met Belushi at the Marmont on that Monday afternoon. But, Eisner had come with an offer for Belushi. The National Lampoon organization---which John had helped make famous with ''National Lampoon's Animal House''---- had another potential movie brewing. It was called ''The Joy Of Sex'' and it contained a lot of juvenile, scatological humor that Eisner thought would be perfect for John. In one scene, Eisner laughed, John would be wearing a diaper!!! John listened politely to Eisner, all the while stewing. Here he was, John Belushi----a grown man with dignity, who had become a cultural icon with his talent, admired among his peers and the public---- and this goof who ran Paramount Pictures wanted John to wear a diaper?! John was crushed and angry. But, he kept his composure and argued for his wine movie. After an hour, the two men reached an impasse. They agreed to get together again soon and work out their differences...... April Milstead got her drug friend, Cathy Smith, on the phone. She told Smith that ''John Belushi is in town and is looking for something.'' That ''something'' was heroin. Could Cathy get the stuff for John? Yes, replied Cathy. They would meet later at April's to have a little fun....... In addition to calling her connection for the heroin, there are also strong signs that Cathy Smith called the LAPD. The reason was that Cathy Smith, drug dealer to the stars, was also moonlighting as a police informer. Since her busts in the past over narcotics, Cathy Smith had curiously avoided any prison time. She was out on parole but left alone to deal her business trade of drugs. The LAPD knew this. They also knew she had connections deep in the film industry. And, with a scandal involving police officers and young girls about to be opened up for the public, the image-conscious LAPD needed something to offset the negative publicity coming its way. You know, something involving glamorous people.......When John Belushi walked into April Milstead's home late in the evening on March 1, he took the fatal first steps to his eventual doom. He actually had met Cathy Smith a few times in the past. Once on the set of ''SNL'' when Cathy was supplying members of the group, The Band. And, a few years after that on the set of ''1941'', the comedy that Belushi made with Steven Spielberg. Cocaine was all over the set of that movie and Smith and most of the drug dealers in town vied for the honor of coking out most of the people involved in making that film [with the notable exception of Spielberg, who do not use drugs]. So, when Smith and Belushi met again that March night, there was a brief reunion. But, mostly, John wanted to be hit up. He wanted a ''speedball', the combination of cocaine and heroin. Cocaine, the upper, mixed with heroin, the downer, could cause a tremendous high for its user. It also was highly dangerous because it is playing body games with the heart and blood pressure. Those in attendance that night: Milstead, her boyfriend, Charlie, a friend of John's, Leslie Marks, and John himself all watched as Cathy Smith heated the coke and heroin together in a spoon. Then, a cotton swab was used to weed out the impurities that may have tainted the drugs. The cotton soaked up the contents in the spoon, and, then, a small syringe was stuck into the cotton, releasing the contents into the syringe. All of those present were watching with fascination. Cathy gave herself the first shot to test it. Then, she gave one to John. His reaction was instant joy. As the night went on, Cathy Smith shot up everyone at the party, including John several times....... For the next few days, John Belushi and Cathy Smith were inseparable. John was bouncing back and forth between the sober world and the drug world. By days, he was meeting with agents and studio executives, trying to get his wine movie going. By night, he was haunting the famous Sunset Strip, frequently clubs and partying too hard. Cathy Smith had become his constant companion, not so much because he liked her company but because he was becoming more and more dependent on her ''speedball'' shots. John was ashamed to be seen with his real friends while doing these drugs. That was why he was with people like Smith and April Milstead and Leslie Marks. They were the enablers and John was the enabled. Unfortunately for John, two vital happenings were going on around him. His body was slowing down. And, Cathy Smith was in back channel contact with the police. The reason was the LAPD, using Cathy Smith, was setting John Belushi up for a big bust. And, knowing that Belushi also had famous friends who also were in the drug scene, the police were hoping for a big score......... On Wednesday, March 3rd, John Belushi lost touch with his drug friends. He literally disappeared from everyone, family, friends, agents. Part of the time, it was later revealed, he was crashing at the home of Leslie Marks, one of his cocaine friends. But, for much of the time, he was MIA. A cab driver, Billy Kopecky, met John in the middle of the night at a diner. Kopecky reported that John seemed very down and depressed. He was mad at Paramount and he was unhappy with what he was doing in L.A. with drugs. John said that he missed his wife very much and wanted to go home to her. He needed to reorganize his priorities and make changes to get away from drugs. This was the Good John, the clean, kindhearted man that all who knew him said he really was. This was the John filled with good intentions and caring. But, as all addicts seem to be, there was a Bad John there also. This was the reckless, free-wheeling, damn-the-risks person. This behavior, ironically, is what made him such a star----complete uncontrolled behavior and actions. Bad John took Kopecky out to John's car and they shared some cocaine. As they did the drugs, Kopecky would spy a LAPD police car hovering nearby with the lights off. But, according to Kopecky, there was no doubt the two police officers in the vehicle were watching the Belushi car. John noticed them, too. He attempted to back up and pull away but he was having trouble doing this [John Belushi was a notoriously bad driver, even in sober moments]. After several attempts, John turned to Kopecky and gave him a goofy smile. Kopecky decided to leave the car and bid John a goodnight. After John Belushi pulled away, the police vehicle turned on its lights and followed him.........

John Belushi's Final Party: Part 2

Thursday, March 4th, 1982. John Belushi had been running hard all week. Flying on coke and heroin, he was abusing his body at a alarming intensity. The day started with him meeting with his manager, Bernie Brillstein, and Paramount head honcho, Michael Eisner. They were determined to settle the question of Belushi's next movie. Eisner, pulling the strings, said a firm no to the wine movie, ''Noble Rot''. He wanted Belushi to do the sex comedy, ''The Joy Of Sex.'' Brillstein supported Eisner and both pressured John to do it. Eisner said it could be a big movie, meaning, big money. In the meantime, as a concession, Eisner said that John could rewrite ''Noble Rot'' and they would do the movie down the line. John finally agreed to do the sex comedy, albeit, very reluctantly. The movie was packaged into a broader deal with the studio. Eisner offered Belushi a four-picture studio deal, with ''The Joy Of Sex'' and ''Noble Rot'' part of the package. The other two movies were to be determined. John mentioned that his partner, Dan Aykroyd, was in New York right now writing a new project for them. It had to do with grown men exterminating ghosts. Eisner, Brillstein, and Belushi concluded their business dealings and parted. But, not before Belushi asked Brillstein for some money to buy a guitar. Brillstein, who managed John for years and loved him like a son, knew John inside and out. He figured John wanted the money for drugs. But, the request, in front of a studio head, was a canny move on John's part. He knew Brillstein would not challenge the request in front of Eisner. So, Brillstein gave John the money, but he was deeply suspicious on what John would do with it......... Back at the Chateau Marmont, John called Cathy Smith. They had not seen each other in twenty four hours. The previous day, John had his disappearing act going, crashing at the home of Leslie Marks and not doing the shots of ''speedballs''. So, by Thursday, John was jonesing for a fix. Cathy said she would meet John at one of his favorite private clubs called ''On The Rox'', which was on top of the famous ''Roxy Theater'' on the Sunset Strip. ''On The Rox'' was a playground for the rich and famous who wanted to party without the public bothering them. The roster of customers there throughout the years was impressive: Mick Jagger, John Lennon, Jack Nicholson, etc had all frequented the ''Rox'' for many years. The bar was little more than a big living room. John Belushi, like all of his famous friends, loved the place for its seclusion and privacy. On one memorable night a few years earlier, John was at the club with Dan Aykroyd, Joe Pesci, Alice Cooper and Harry Nilsson. Bernie Taupin, the co-writer of Elton John songs, had gotten into fight with Belushi and both men had to be separated. A lot of drug craziness had happened at ''On The Rox''. This Thursday night in March would be no different......... Back in New York, Judy Belushi and Dan Aykroyd sensed impending doom. Both had talked to John earlier that day, and, both concluded that he was in trouble. Deep trouble. They each had a telekinetic ability to read John and his behavior. They knew he was messing with the vermin out on the Strip. The drug cycle of John out of control had not reared its ugly head for a long time----John had pretty much been clean for over a year. But, the last month, he slipped, badly. They knew he could not handle the abuse anymore, his body was no longer young and healthy. That Thursday night, the two people closest to John Belushi had dinner and made plans. If John was not home by the next day, Friday the 5th, Judy threatened to move out, to scare John into coming home. Dan Aykroyd had a much more physical solution. He promised if John was not home by Friday, he would go out to Hollywood and handcuff John, if he had to, and drag him out of town........ Back in Hollywood, early in the evening of Thursday, March the 4th, John Belushi hooked up with an old friend, Robert De Niro. Belushi and De Niro had known each other for years and were quite good friends. Each admired the other enormously. De Niro liked John for his crazy personality, for even in his most drug addled moments, John Belushi was a decent and kind person who was tremendous fun to be around, a party unto himself. And, John liked ''Bobby D'', as he called him, for his intensity that he had in acting. Both wanted to branch out into the other's arenas: John wanted more serious roles, De Niro wanted to do comedy. They also shared a love of cocaine and late nights. De Niro was a regular coke user around this time, as was much of Hollywood. Coke was the drug of influence and show business---everyone seemed to be doing blow. When they met for dinner that night, John said he was meeting friends later on at ''On The Rox''. De Niro said he would stop by........ Cathy Smith and John met at ''On The Rox'' and immediately went into a bathroom and she shot him up again with a speedball. In the last few days, the amount of shots that Cathy had given John was around a dozen, with each shot more potent, and, therefore, more dangerous than the last. John was growing more dependent on Smith, as he spun more out of control on drugs. And, there was a third party hovering around: John's friend, Nelson Lyon. Lyon, a distant friend of Belushi's, had hooked up with John a few days earlier in the week. He also became a willing ''patient'' for ''Nurse Cathy'', taking the shots that she was giving out. Lyon would later testify that John was far-gone that night, as if he did not know what he was asking for........ Also watching the scene at ''On The Rox'' were rogue officers of the LAPD. They were in contact with Cathy Smith and knew whom Belushi was with that night. They noted De Niro and Lyon. They had spies in the club among the bouncers. John Belushi, unbeknownst to him, was being set up for a bust very soon...... As the evening went on, various people came and went at ''On The Rox'', including the club owner, Lou Adler and actor Harry Dean Stanton. Johnny Rivers, famous for his song ''Secret Agent Man'' was introduced to Belushi and they sang the song ''Kansas City'' together. Rivers later said that John was very quiet that night and seemed down. And, John's mood was very bleak. He was still smarting over the Paramount rejection of his script. And, he missed Judy, for she was his soulmate. John was very aware of the strain that his drug use put on his marriage, on his relationship with Judy. They adored each other, going back to when they were kids in Wheaton, Illinois. They had traveled a long road together, were inseparable. Those who knew them both always were impressed over the control that Judy had over John. It was a good control, a stabilizing influence. They loved each other deeply and wanted to grow old together. But, the cocaine was a barrier and threatened their relationship. And, no one was more aware of this than John. He hated that he was using again and could not control his appetites......... Around midnight, Robert De Niro came into ''On The Rox''. He spotted John and John invited De Niro to meet up later at the Chateau Marmont, where De Niro was also staying. They both tried getting in touch with Richard Pryor but could not get ahold of Pryor. Soon, De Niro left the club, going back to the Marmont, where he had planned a threesome with two women....... John and Cathy left ''On The Rox'' soon after De Niro. They had Nelson Lyon with them. John had invited them to the Marmont , where he wanted the party to continue. On the way out of the club, John bought some cocaine from a stranger in the parking lot. After the buy, John drove them towards the hotel but had to pull over when he became violently sick to his stomach. Once in the Marmont, John and Cathy did another shot, along with Lyon. Soon after, John and Cathy went out. Where they went, no one can say. Smith has never revealed their destination. But, they were under surveillance from the police......  Down the Strip, at the famous ''Comedy Store'', Robin Williams was finishing a set onstage. Being up there onstage, without a net, was a high for Robin. He enjoyed the give-and-take from the audience. Robin Williams also enjoyed the high of the Hollywood fast lane, with its abundance of drugs, alcohol, and women. After he was done at the ''Comedy Store'', Robin headed out down the Strip towards ''On The Rox''. Robin was not looking for anyone in particular to party with, per se. He just wanted something to do. The doorman at the ''Roxy'' nightclub, below ''On The Rox'' had told Williams that Belushi and De Niro were looking for him. And, they wanted Williams to go over to the Marmont for a big party. Robin Williams got in his car and drove the short distance to John's bungalow. For years afterword, Robin Williams would firmly believe that the mysterious ''doorman'', who quit after that night, was setting him up for a bust.......... Bungalow 3 at the Chateau Marmont in the early morning hours of March 5th, 1982, has always been the subject of much speculation and gossip for years. ''Who'' was there is an open question. Cathy Smith would cite ''big, famous people'' as being in the hotel room. Their names have never been released because no one who survived the encounter is talking. Hollywood has maintained the age-old ''Omerta'', or, code of silence. What has come out was information Cathy Smith would later tell the police in her ''official'' statement. Seeing as she was working undercover with the police in a sting operation, her story must be taken with much skepticism. And, rightly so....... Robin Williams walked into Bungalow 3 around 2 am looking for his pal, John Belushi. They had been casual friends for a few years but had recently grown closer. When Robin entered, the only person there was Nelson Lyon. Lyon, stoned beyond reason from coke and heroin, told Robin that John had left. Robin waited a short time to see if John would return. In the meantime, Robin called Robert De Niro's room looking for him. De Niro, busy having his threesome with the two women, said he could not talk. At that moment, Robin Williams became highly suspicious. He had been told by the ''doorman'' at the ''Roxy'' that both Belushi and De Niro were waiting for him at the bungalow. Now, neither one was there. His unease continued when John and Cathy returned. John acted surprised that Robin was there. He wasn't expecting him. Robin got the impression that John seemed embarrassed that Robin was seeing him in this kind of condition and atmosphere. It was seedy, especially, with Cathy Smith hovering around in the background. Williams developed an instant dislike for the woman and was shocked that John was associating with her. After a few awkward moments, John offered some coke, which Robin snorted. Not much was said and soon Robin decided to leave. Still feeling very uncomfortable---both for John and for being led to the bungalow mysteriously--- Robin Williams left and drove home........ Cathy Smith shot up John and Nelson Lyon again. Both were zonked. The patio door slid open and Robert De Niro walked in looking for coke. He later stated to Judy Belushi that he thought Smith was trashy and was surprised John was with her. He felt John was strung-out and tired. De Niro snorted a few lines and left. As did Nelson Lyon, who was tired and needed sleep. He soon caught a cab as dawn rose over the Sunset Strip.........

John Belushi's Final Party : Part 3

Around dawn on Friday March 5th, 1982, John Belushi was fading fast. His body for the last few days had been running on ''speedball'' shots of cocaine and heroin. Up and down both of his arms, there were tiny marks from the needle pricks from Cathy Smith, as she shot him up. Now, it was just the two of them at the bungalow. John took a shower and climbed into bed. Cathy made a gesture of sexual intimacy but John turned away, not interested. Cathy then gave him one last shot of coke and smack......... What follows next is the series of events that Cathy Smith told the police happened after that last shot........ After John took his last shot, he laid down in his bed, turned on his right side, and went to sleep. Cathy Smith then went into the living room of the bungalow and wrote a letter to a friend in Canada. The letter took some time. As she was writing, she heard some strange, wheezing sounds coming from John's bedroom. Concerned, she walked into the room and shook John awake and asked him if he was ok. John replied he was fine but his lungs felt congested. Cathy gave John a glass of water, which he drank, and then John went back to sleep. Cathy ordered room service  and a few minutes later, the food arrived. She ate the breakfast and checked on John. He appeared fine and was snoring loudly. Cathy decided to not wake John and to take his car to run some errands. She left the bungalow around 10:30 am......... Between 11am and Noon, two hotel employees---- one of which was a security guard, the other a maid---- observed an LAPD police car outside of the bungalow. The car was empty. Both employees were sure that the police were inside Bungalow 3 during this time. In fact, the maid tried to enter the room from the outside walkway and was denied entry by the cops....... Around 12:15, Bill Wallace, a close friend and physical trainer of John Belushi, entered the bungalow. He was there on an errand for John to deliver a typewriter that John had requested the previous day. Wallace walked into the unlocked hotel room and was immediately uneasy with the scene. The room was very hot and eerily quiet. Wallace called out for John but there was no answer. Bill looked down the hall and noticed a body form lying in bed. Bill called John's name again and still received no answer. It was odd, thought Wallace. John was a heavy snorer. If he was the body lying in the bed, there would be the familiar sounds of John and his snoring. Bill Wallace walked into the bedroom and, sure enough, it was John lying there on his right side. Wallace shook him and got no answer. He shook him a second time. Nothing. Finally, Bill pulled the body towards him and saw the horror. John's tongue was hanging out of his mouth, the right side of his body a ghastly dark section of settled blood. Immediately, Bill Wallace went into action. Being a physical trainer and professional kickboxer, he knew what to do. He attempted mouth- to- mouth resuscitation. He also started chest massage. With each attempt, Bill was getting more and more frantic. John was not responding. Finally, Wallace called John's manager, Bernie Brillstein, screaming that John was not moving. Brillstein had his secretary call 911 and Bernie dashed out of the office to go to the emergency room if the paramedics decided to bring John to the hospital........ Meanwhile, back at the bungalow, Bill Wallace continued to try to bring John Belushi back to life. When the paramedics arrived, they, too, tried mouth-to-mouth and chest massage. They were unsuccessful. Finally, at 12:45 pm, John Belushi was declared dead........ The LAPD came to the Chateau Marmont soon after the paramedics. Bungalow 3 was sealed off from the public. Bill Wallace was interviewed by the police. He explained what had happened. The police then called the coroners office. By this time, the media got wind of a big story at the Marmont and descended on the scene. rumors swirled that the body in the hotel room was the world famous comedian, John Belushi. The cops confirmed that it was. But, no one from the LAPD let Belushi's family know that he had died........ Bernie Brillstein, at the hospital waiting for John, got the word that his friend had died. Stunned, Bernie immediately called Dan Aykroyd in New York. Dan happened to be writing the script for ''Ghostbusters'' at the time when he heard about his friend's death. Shocked to his core, Dan also realized that he had to tell Judy Belushi the news. Being John's best friend and partner, Dan owed it to John that Judy hear it from Dan. As he ran to Judy's house, the thought occurred that this was the day when he was gonna go to L.A. to save John.......... Cathy Smith returned to the Chateau Marmont shortly after 2 pm. According to her future statement to the police, she was out running errands. Rumors have swirled that she was also seeing her police contact in the LAPD. Cathy was stopped by police at the scene going the wrong way down a one-way street. When questioned why, Cathy replied that this was the way John Belushi always did it. The police at the scene asked her to step out of John's car. Without telling her about John's death, Cathy was handcuffed by the cops and driven to the police station......... Inside John Belushi's bungalow, the coroners office was viewing the body and the scene. Almost immediately, Head Coroner Thomas Noguchi noticed cocaine residue on the nightstand by the bed. Examining John's arms, he also noticed several small red welts. Squeezing the arms, Noguchi got a small drop of blood to drop. Being the expert that he was in his job, he told the officers around him that he thought it might be an overdose. All he would need to know would come in the autopsy, planned for the next day. After Noguchi was done, Belushi's body was zipped up in a body bag, loaded on a stretcher, and taken out of the bungalow, where hundreds of cameras and reporters were waiting to record the action. The head of the police investigation, Dan Cook, addressed the media. He stated that the death of John Belushi appeared to be by ''natural causes''.......... At the police station, Cathy Smith still did not know why she was taken in, so she later claimed. The cop who interviewed her, Detective Richard Iddings, told her that John Belushi was dead, Cathy was shocked. Iddings, on the record, asked Smith who she was and the connection she had to Belushi. Naturally, the detective knew who Cathy Smith was, she had many run-ins with the law and the LAPD knew her quite well. Iddings also asked her about drugs. He examined her arms and noticed the holes, clearly, she was shooting up. Cathy Smith admitted shooting drugs and produced the spoon and syringe from her purse, which was still dripping fluid, that she used. Iddings asked a few more questions, took the syringe and spoon------ AND RELEASED HER!!! Cathy Smith walked out of the LAPD station stunned. She had admitted that she was using and had drug paraphernalia on her----both violations of her parole. But, they were letting her go scot-free. Clearly, the LAPD did not want to know anything further  about the death of John Belushi...... The next few days events were at rapid speed. John Belushi's body was examined by Thomas Noguchi on Saturday, March 6th. Noguchi noted the poor physical condition of Belushi. Years of food and smoking and drug abuse had turned this 33 year old man's body into a body that looked old. Bloated organs and lungs filled with fluid indicated self-abuse. Noguchi noted the arms again and thought that the red welts were fresh, within the last few days. Noguchi concluded that Belushi was not a long-term needle user because his arms did not have track marks. Samples were taken of his blood and urine and sent to the lab. But, Noguchi already knew it was an overdose. Any first-year student could see that. The question was whether there was any foul play involved...... Cathy Smith fled town. She first went to St. Louis in the days after John's death, then, back to L.A., then, finally, to Canada. The media was chasing her mightily but she wasn't talking. She hired a lawyer and keep mum........ John Belushi's body was flown home to his house on Martha's Vineyard. He was buried on March 9, 1982. Two days later, there was a public memorial for him. Hundreds came, mostly, family and friends. There were celebrity sightings galore. Notably, Robert De Niro and Robin Williams were absent....... They were in seclusion. Both, when informed that John had died, broke down in tears. They loved John. But, they also knew that they were now part of a media circus. It was leaked that they were with John before his death. Both made the decision to not say anything......... On Friday March 12th, one week after John Belushi's death,  Thomas Noguchi released the findings on the autopsy of Belushi. He concluded that John had died of an overdose of heroin and cocaine. There were a dozen needle marks on both arms, all of them tied into the last five days of Belushi's life..........

John Belushi's Final Party: Part 4

The media, always looking for dirty gossip, went into overdrive. They portrayed John Belushi as an out-of-control drug fiend, intent on destroying his life without caring for the consequences. Stories about John appeared in the press, drug stories, that were later shown to be false and distorted. It is easy to defame the dead, there is no legal recourse. So, the media, as they always do, had a field day. John's family and friends jumped to his defense, claiming the stories were falsehoods and the man they loved was not out-of-control. Perhaps, the last month of his life, yes, but he was not a drug fiend. That fact that John Belushi was an addict---- not just to drugs [namely, cocaine] but to life itself was lost on the media. They wanted dirt. And, the media found a co-conspirator in the LAPD....... From the moment that John Belushi was found dead, it presented an enormous burden for the LAPD. The ''sting'' operation gone bad that the Drug Squad was planning on celebrities---combined with the other scandals about underage girls and police brutality--- made it a hard lot for the police. The inconvenience of the Belushi's death was a major problem because John Belushi was one of the celebrities they were trying to bust. So, the LAPD took a page from the scummy media and decided to destroy John's character, with Police Chief Darryl Gates calling Belushi a ''horrible person''. There is substantial evidence that the police were feeding bogus drug stories to the media about Belushi. But, the most interesting fact was the quick closing of the John Belushi case after just a few weeks. Cathy Smith and her involvement was not investigated. Nor were the other people involved in Belushi's last week, people like Robert De Niro, Robin Williams, John's friends Nelson Lyon and April Milstead. The police shut the door quickly. But many questions still were on people's minds........ Such as......1. If Cathy Smith shot up John Belushi the last time at 6:30 am on March 5th, as she claims, [and the autopsy stated that it was unable to determine the time of this last shot] why did John Belushi immediately not go into cardiac arrest? When someone overdoses, it is an instant response, as the heart shuts down. But, Smith claims that Belushi was alive for a few hours after that, snoring loudly as she left the premises. Before leaving, she had awakened him when she heard him making ''strange sounds'' from the bedroom. Are we to believe that Cathy Smith woke up John Belushi right in the middle of a drug overdose? If she did, then, it is one for the medical books because it is an impossibility....... 2. The police car outside Bungalow 3 around 11 am. Two witnesses that worked at the Chateau Marmont--- the security guard and the maid----- put the LAPD in John's room an hour and a half before Bill Wallace discovered the body. Why were they there? Did Cathy Smith, after leaving with John's car, alert them? Did they discover John already dead? Was the drug bust to happen then? And, the darkest question: did the police murder John for some reason?........ 3. Why did the LAPD let Cathy Smith go after she had admitted to shooting up drugs and had the syringe and spoon with her with drugs on them? This alone would guarantee jail time for a convicted drug felon. Were the police trying to hustle her away, to get her ''Out of Dodge?''........ Cathy Smith would give an interview with the ''National Enquirer'' in July, 1982, where she proclaimed , ''I KILLED JOHN BELUSHI!''. The interview featured an obviously stoned Smith saying that she knew she was shooting John up with a fatal dosage in the early morning hours of March the 5th. She called it the ''Coup De Grace'', which is the French term for ''Final Blow'', designed to kill someone. Calls to the LA District Attorney's Office by the Belushi family seeking a prosecution of Cathy Smith ultimately brought two counts of involuntary manslaughter against Smith for administering dangerous drugs. Basically, Cathy Smith was charged with shooting up John Belushi and indirectly causing his death. Whether Smith intentional meant to do it was open to debate. Her statement using the term ''Coup De Grace'' is revealing....... In March 1983, Cathy Smith was arrested after losing a fight for extradition from her native Canada. Her trial would finally happen two years later and she would be convicted of the involuntary manslaughter charge. She was sentenced to three years in prison, of which she served a year and a half. After being released, she would stay clean for a couple of years before being busted in Canada on drug possession. She would get probation. From 1991 until this day, she has not had any busts with the police. She speaks at drug abuse clinics and seminars about the evils of drugs......... Other people on that last night of John Belushi's life stayed haunted for years on what had happened. Nelson Lyon, John's friend and fellow ''speedball'' imbiber, saw his career in writing collapse. He blamed himself for the foolish behavior during that fateful week and for not stopping John. Lyon would drift in and out of show business. He would die of liver cancer in 2012, a broken man....... Robin Williams would testify in a grand jury investigation of that March 4th/5th party night. He told his story with just the facts, as he knew them. Williams would have an extraordinary successful career in movies. One notable film he did was ''Awakenings'' with Robert De Niro. John Belushi's death would straighten Williams out, with him giving up alcohol and drugs because of what he feared may happen to him. But, he would have slips, particularly, with alcohol, and he would fight his demons for the rest of his life. In 2014, Robin Williams committed suicide by hanging....... Robert De Niro also flourished in films, going from one brilliant performance to another. He would never fully comment on what had happened that night at the Chateau Marmont with Belushi. But, he would fiercely defend John if anyone criticized him in his presence. He continues to make movies today, a sadly pale imitation and parody of what he once was........ The LAPD continues to be rocked with scandals and allegations. In the case of John Belushi, where many in town believe that the police either botched a sting operation by using Cathy Smith as the go-between, or, in fact, murdered John Belushi for whatever reasons, the police still have not adequately explained their actions in the investigation, even after 34 years have passed since Belushi died. Too many holes in the ''official'' story, too many rumors based on fact......... I do not believe that the LAPD had John Belushi murdered. There is no reason to have him killed. But, I do believe that he and his friends, Robert De Niro and Robin Williams, were being set-up to be busted. And, the police department used a known drug addict like Cathy Smith to doing the dirty business of casting the web to trap them. But, Cathy Smith went off the script of the movie the police had designed and got too close to Belushi and gave him more drugs than she was supposed to. I do think it was an accidental overdose, that Smith was not trying to do harm to Belushi. They were just two sad people dealing in their own private demons and the drugs made them forget the monsters that always hovered close to them in sober moments........ John Belushi was responsible for his drug intake. No one had to force drugs in him. Even Dan Aykroyd says that John was probably controlling everything going on around him. John was a victim of his own excesses. Like any addict, he wanted to stop, to be clean. His intentions were good but the demon desire would run right over any real progress of sobriety. John Belushi had a glorious life and gave many people many laughs throughout the years. Yes, the ending was sad. But, his life, on the whole, was fun-packed and exciting. It is too bad that his legacy is besmirched by how he died. But, the thing I remember most about him----- and , I still watch his work from time to time---- is that he made me laugh and made me happy........ I just wish he made himself happier.........