The Best Revenge

55. Wow, I look at that number and it stuns me, somewhat. I know that there are people reading this who are older, who will not give me sympathy for climbing to this age. And, the younger brethren will say, ''Jimmy, it is just a number.'' To which I reply, ''Yeah, but it is a BIG NUMBER!''........ I continue to be grateful to grow older. Many years in my youth, there were times when I would have taken the bet to not make 40, based on the abuse I was giving my body. Never to the self-destruction level, Thank God, but, pushing close to the line. I have seen poor souls go over that line, many never to return back to the living. No,  I always knew when to rein in the wild times, to put the brakes on and coast. I would look at wonder at those that sped up. Me, I followed the age-old advice of our parents : ''Moderation, son''......... However, when I was younger and starting out, I gave myself permission to have fun. That is one of the things that astounds me about today's youth - they don't know how to have a good time. I think that they THINK they know how, but, the numbers don't add up in my book. I always subscribed to that the famous saying : ''Living well is the best revenge.'' What does it mean, in theory? Well, I had a definition early on. That we only have one spin around the track in this life and to use that lap to gobble up as much as you can. Stop and smell the roses, for sure. But, tear some of them beauties out, at times.......... Now, it is up to the individual person on what you do and how you do it. Some, as I have said, hit it hard, dancing that close dance with fate and the Devil. From those people, I was always told that you get a high from living life on the high wire, tempting the fall into death. That may hold an appeal for some, but, not this cat. I never wanted to die to prove a point. Death always gets the last laugh, anyway. I knew a guy who was a junkie, who proudly wore his needle scars as a badge of honor. When I would look at him and ask him why he was doing something that he knew would end up putting him in the graveyard, he would stare at me as if I was the naive one. I never did get a good answer from him. The last time I saw him I was standing over his casket asking the same question........ No, my vices were geared to having a good time - and, being safe. I wanted to give my body, which we all get from the Good Lord, a fun trip, piling up the mileage of good times. I ate the bad foods, drank the wine, and did several other unmentionable things for print here. Did I betray the gift of the good health that God gave me with this body by abusing it? Perhaps. It is not my ultimate verdict. God has that one and there is no appeal. However, God did also give me the WANT to do these things. And, I ran with it [the only running I would ever do, by the way]. When the time comes when I stand before the Almighty and get my Final Report Card, I will turn in this body well-used, a testament to the pleasures that life offered me. No pristine body parts on this boy!!!! It will be like a car that you drive until it falls apart on the road. Hopefully, my mileage has many years to go......... But, I do not say this is how everyone should live life. I have endless respect for my many friends who take excellent care of themselves. The buzz I may get from a glass of spirits they get from exercising, eating healthy foods, maintaining a good weight, and preparing themselves for a long life. I applaud the efforts and the results!!!!.......... It is just not for me. Unlike many, I do not want to be very old. I do not want to be like those poor souls that whither on the vine at 90 waiting for death to take them gently into that good night. I do not want to say goodbye to my loved ones and be the only one left, with just my memories. I do not mean to connect healthy living with fading away. Obviously, you want to feel good and look good. My angle has always been that I will trade some of my golden years for the golden times in my youth. If God takes me up on this deal, then, I have no right to complain. However, I do not want to go tomorrow, either........... So, I am now 12 years away from where both my parents were when their lives ended. They were 67. They suffered in their final years from illness that sapped their energies and their joy of life. Two vital people whom fate decided to pick on. On my Mom's side of the family, the life expectancy runs short. Dad's family runs longer. Who knows which side I lean towards longevity. But, I would be lying to you if I said I wasn't conscious of what they went through and the connecting tissue of me wanting to grab life by the balls and have fun........... I continue to want to have fun. I know we all do, but, like I said, I do not believe many people know how to. I always have. I know how to kick out the jams. Within reason. Moderation, son.......... Maybe, this should end with some kind of final summation. Perhaps, this will jive with the above ramblings of my justifying being gluttonous. Recently, I screened a documentary on nuclear war. If missiles are sent to us, we have about ten minutes remaining before it all ends. The thrust of the message of the film was, ''what does one do with only a short time left?'' Well, of course, it depends on your location and the people you are around. But, if you are at home and alone, what would you do? You can't really go anywhere. Maybe, you try contacting only the people you love the most. I would. And, I also thought, in those final fleeting moments before The End, I would sit on my balcony and be at peace. There would be a cigar in my hand, a glass of wine, something to nibble for a final meal. Going out on my own terms.........