I Do Not Forget

Every once in a while I will catch a show about that day. It usually involves the History Channel or one of their satellite stations that is showing the program. Sometimes, I will switch it off because it is still too painful to watch. Seeing death forcefully real in front of my eyes is not a happy viewing. But, sometimes I watch the show. I am not a ghoul who slows down while passing a car accident. I am not of that mental variety. Rather, I watch because, in some way, I should watch. To dismiss is to slowly let the memory fade. And, the one thing we should never do is forget 9/11........ Every year around September 11, we see the recollections of that day. Our Day Of Infamy for the Internet age. Most people now were not alive for Pearl Harbor. And, the second time stamp for collective sorrow was November 22 when JFK was shot. But, for myself and millions of others, that horrendous day is just a tragic history lesson. I wasn't alive in 1963, so that event is a historical benchmark, not a personal benchmark. But, 9/11 is that for me. And, I carry that around with me as I live my life. When I watch a movie pre-9/11, I have an active part of my brain compute that it is before the tragedy. When I see a program with the Twin Towers--- those beautiful symbols of New York--- there is an eerily uncomfortable feeling of a dark cloud hovering. Because I know the secret now that we did not know then. Those towers will not be flying free in the air soon....... I am not a professional tragedy widower. You know, someone who wallows in grief so heartily that it strangely becomes about their own pain of the day instead of the pain of the real victims. No, I remember that day, because as humans, when we see the horrific affects of a death, we naturally grief. It flows from the soul of the caring. Plus, not very often do we see mass murder in front of our eyes. That day was modern day genocide of the most blatant kind. Whenever I see the planes hit the Twin Towers or the Pentagon, I just think about those people in those planes and what their final moments must have been like. It is inescapable to not to. The screaming and chaos, the crying and fear, the bedlam and the death....... Heroes were made that day. Unsung, unknown heroes. They fought the hijackers and they shed the blood. By the recordings that have been released, we know that they fought hard for their lives. They would never know the true story about why this was happening to them and who was responsible. In a poignant way, they were better off not knowing. As horrible as those last moments were for them, it was fairly quick and it was over. Their suffering and pain ended. The legacy of the hate that drove that day is on us. The victims paid the ultimate price. But, they are free now, sweetly blowing in God's wind........ It is natural to not think of this day when we go through our everyday life. We are dealing with problems and issues and situations of our own. I certainly do. Weeks or months go by without any thought of 9/11. Again, standard operating procedure. However, when it does come to the forefront of my mind, like when I stumble across a show on it, the raw emotions of that day are fast and furious. I have anger at those bastards who did the killings. I have deep hope that they are firmly snuggled in the darkest regions of Hell for eternity...... And, I feel the sorrow most of all. I think, mostly, about the children on those flights. There were many, some very small who, hopefully, had no concept of what was happening to them. Sadly, some of those children did realize what was happening. It was the Boogeyman coming to life. No child, no human being for that matter, should have gone through what they went through. The horror of horrors. Goddamn those terrorists!!!! GODDAMN THEIR SOULS!!!!..... A reason I am writing this now is simple: I do not forget. Some people, for reasons I do not understand, do forget. And, many forgive. There are even the truly misguided who think that September 11, 2001, was an inside job by our government, despite all of the evidence to the contrary. It is frightening that they are, blindly, on the side of the terrorists if they believe this. But, those types of people walk amongst us and it is of no use to talk common sense to them. I can show them an ashtray and say it is an ashtray but they will say it is a table. Both you and I know it is an ashtray but they see it differently. As I've gotten older, I concede to let people believe what they want. If this ashtray to you is a table, then, so be it. Be prepared, then, for me to flick my occasional cigar ashes on your table then........ It is a beautiful spring day. The birds are out and the sun is shining. Spring is the promise of life and its joys. After the dark of Winter, comes the light of better days. The human heart speeds up to reward the living with the simple joy of being alive. But, there are some days when the weather cannot cover the darkness. Sometimes, evil will destroy that good feeling. It is 65 degrees outside now, with beautiful blue skies. The same weather that New York had on September 11, 2001.......