Slowing Down

My good friend, the great Rob Lindquist, called me to catch up on things. We are childhood friends, one of my ''Band Of Brothers'' who has always been there for me and also has rode along with me in our younger days seeking a good time. Now, we are in our mid-40's. No longer do we burn the midnight oil and bring up the sun. We are middle-aged and move at a slower speed. On the phone, Robbie was telling me about his new house, his love for his wife, Janet, and, how he has become quite the hermit. Rob said that he doesn't go out of the house much nowadays unless he has to, such as work and the bar he owns in Island Lake [ ''Janimals'']. I related completely. I told Rob that I am a sort of recluse these days myself, as compared to the past. I am on vacation this week and many of my co-workers are traveling here and there. I had a chance to go away, but, I decided to stay at home and let the days lead me. This, I told Robbie, is how I pretty much lead life now that I am 47. Slower pace, let life come to me instead of me trying to grasp life. It is calmer and more peaceful. I like it. Rob and I ended our phone call with the plans on getting together soon. That is, if one of us leaves our home...... When I was younger, so much younger than today, I hit life pretty good socially. My twenties and thirties--- well, most of my thirties--- were always in pursuit of a good time. And, being young, you can extend the good times sometimes into several days without falling down. You can live fast, but, still be in reasonable shape to go to work the next day. The energy and vitality of youth is your best friend. Of course, not everyone does this. Many people I know married young and settled into a calm domestic life. Fine, good for them! But, I was seeking experiences that would make me live life at a faster pace...... My early adult years were the late 80's and early 90's. And, the city of Chicago was jumping back then!! These were the days of endless nightclubs and stopping at bars where I knew people who worked and played there. The Chicago Bears were still in the afterglow of the Super Bowl season of 1985, so, there was a buzz in the city. They were superstars and the city was alive with the promise of their presence at any establishment. And, there were times when I brushed up next to an athlete. I remember being at the Limelight nightclub, which had its 15 minutes of fame back then. There were Bears galore populating the room. Naturally, they were swarmed with women and groupies. God, these guys were engulfed with these hot babes!!! I was starting my acting career back then. Seeing the action these boys got I knew there were benefits to being famous besides the quality of the work. You know this type of adulation happens, but, when you see it first-hand it is extraordinary. I will not name names because I will invoke the Guy Code of protecting my fellow man. Some of these guys were single. Some gave interviews on how happily married they were. Uh, ok, I will go along with that. But, I saw things and heard things that made life very interesting around this time. One name I will mention, former Chicago Bull Scottie Pippin. I was a fan of his playing, but, not the man. I saw how he treated women and played the race card when he didn't get his way. He was a cheap bastard. He earned the nickname ''No-Tippin Pippin.'' One night I saw his ego raging. Maybe, it had something to do with the mysterious liquid dripping from a needle that he was shooting between his toes........ Now, I was no tempting death type of person. I hit the nights well and played well. However, I always had a compass in my system and that compass let me know when I needed to pull back. I was around people who flirted with death and enjoyed walking on that tightrope between life and death. I would warn them. But, they did what they wanted to do. These were bar friends, not real friends. Had they been real friends there would have been no way I would have put up with their self-destruction. I would have done what all of us would do and that is slap them around and make them see the light of their follies. With the bar friends---- more acquaintances than anything---I would give some friendly advice. They would listen and do their own thing. Some saw the end of the tunnel and straightened up. And, some didn't.......... I met many a fine woman in my fun-seeking. Another great gift of being young is the opening up of your social life. I have my stories, like most single males. However, I was raised to be respectful of women and to treat them right. I have always been proud of my relationships, whether they be short-term or long-term. As all of you that know me are aware of, I can be a handful to be with. I am forever grateful to any woman, past or present or future, who handles being with me. One pride I have had, going back to how I was raised, is that I keep a silence on my adventures and stories with women. I was raised in that long-ago time when you kept your private life private, didn't ask people how much they make a year, or what they did in the bedroom. But, trust me--- I had fun!!!!!!........ So, now I am middle-age and it is slower. I am grateful for the past adventures, but, I would not go back at all and do it again if you paid me. I did it once. That was plenty. I have my memories. Still, I scratch my head sometimes at my younger friends and their lack of having fun. Some people I know, whether I work with them or know them socially, don't know how to go out and light up the town. They say they want to and they look at me to light the candle for them. I apologize and say. ''No thanks, I have been there and done that. But, you need to go out and live life to its fullest while you still have the energy.'' I am never telling them to do what I did, for I do not believe in telling anyone on how to live their lives. I just give them some friendly social advice.  They need to go out into the world and sniff around. Some fun times exist out there. Seek them out...... As you get older, of course, your perception on life changes and the things that were important to you back then are no longer important. Yes, it is nice to make a lot of money in your job, but, it is paramount that you enjoy what you are doing more. No longer do you have to try to control life. Let life give you what you can handle. I understand this now and enjoy leading a calmer life. When I do go out socially [ and, I do. I am not the big hermit I say I am] it is with a clearer mind and easier speed. I look in the mirror at my eyes  and I see someone who has seen a lot, both good and bad. With experience comes knowledge. And, with knowledge, hopefully, comes growth as a human being. I know I am much more of a nicer person than I was twenty years ago. Trial and error. And, I got where I am by living like I did and learning. The times were great back then, but, I am much happier now going in slow motion...... I have a few more days left in my vacation. I don't know what is planned, but, I will embrace it. I am scheduled to make a personal appearance at a bar with my friends Jenny, Jeanine, and Laureen tomorrow. Beyond that, who knows. Maybe, a long-overdue reunion with the great Robert Lindquist at his bar ''Janimals.'' Maybe, watching ''March Madness'' with another group of friends. And, maybe, I will sit calmly and peacefully in my easy chair reading a book and enjoying the serenity..... But, first, I need a nap. Typing all of this made me sleepy........