''Have You Heard The Story About.......''

Let me start out by saying that the following stories are pure rumors. Not based on fact, but, strong rumors that have been going around for years. So, let me also use the terms ''allegedly'' and ''apparently'' when describing the stories. There. Now that I have gotten that out of the way let us all turn our attention to Hollywood rumors that might interest us. These are just a handful, for Hollywood has always been a hot-bread of stories designed to smear the rich and famous. Some stories turn out to be true. Others fall by the wayside. But, the stories below have stuck around for decades, therefore, some truth might be the case in these rumors. Here they are, in no particular order..... Richard Gere loves pets. Around 1990, Richard Gere was having a career resurgence. During the 80's he made a series of bad movies that brought him down in luster. But, in 1990, Gere rebounded big time with ''Pretty Woman'' and ''Black Rain'' [ which has a bar called ''Scoleri's'']. So, he was hot again. And, being hot, a very strange story came along with the career upswing. The story was that Gere was rushed to a hospital in L.A. needing emergency treatment. The emergency? Well, apparently, there was a small gerbel stuck in Mr. Gere's anus. The gerbel, dead on arrival, was used as a sexual practice. Now, this use of a furried friend has been common usage in gay circles for a long time. There is some kind of sexual gratification when the little fella is shoved up the backside. And, according to this story, Richard Gere was in the hospital for this reason. Now, Richard Gere's sexual orientation has been subject to vast rumors for years. It is not as strong as the rumors about Tom Cruise or John Travolta, but, the stories have persisted. Gere denied the story of the gerbel and has always maintained his heterosexuality. This story has grown a life of its own and has become Hollywood folklore. If he says it didn't happen, ok. Still...... Jamie Lee Curtis has interesting sexual parts. This once hot actress has long been bedeviled by the stories that she has male sexual parts. The stories have been around for years--- along with the rumors of her being a lesbian. This is one story that really strains credibility. Many of us males, who drooled over her during her nude scenes in the 1980's, have always laughed this story off. For one thing, she has been naked in many movies and, after close examination of her body by me, I don't see little Elvis hanging there. Movie crews, notorious for spilling secrets of nude stars, have not reported that Ms. Curtis is a she-male. It seems to be a rumor without foundation, but, I will chalk it up as a long-standing rumor that makes my list. The question about her being a lesbian is an open question. She is married to the very funny comedian Christopher Guest, himself the subject of rumors about his sexual behavior. Hollywood has a long history of friends who are gay, getting married so it doesn't destroy their careers. This story about Jamie Lee Curtis seems to have more legs than the male organ story. ........ Clara Bow--- All American. Clara Bow was a silent film star in the 1920's. She was called the ''IT GIRL'' because she was the top sex symbol of her time. She received thousands of letters of mail from males asking for her hand in marriage. She was ''Miss Pure And Innocent''. Well, you are ahead of me, I'm sure. She was also one of the most man-hungry women of her era. No problem there, everyone is entitled to a strong sexual appetite. One story about her carousing has been retold for generations. It concerns her having a little party for her favorite football team from USC. Ms. Bow decided to show the fellas how much she enjoyed their playing by taking on all of them on in a single afternoon. Yep, all of the guys lined outside her bedroom door waiting to gain entrance so they could go downfield and put one through the uprights. Dozens of guys took a shot at Clara. One guy was allegedly John Wayne, a pigskin hero at college and a foreskin hero to Clara Bow. At the end of the afternoon, Clara bid them all adieu and I'm thinking went to the hospital. Maybe, she was in the emergency room with Richard Gere's grandfather. Anyway, this was a one time date for Clara. As in the case of most gangbangs, the guys say they will call you the next day, but, they won't. This story has amused people for years. Clara Bow denied it to her grave. ....... Danny Thomas likes strange foods. Danny Thomas was a so-so comedian from the 1940's and 50's. He had a successful show called ''Make Room For Daddy'' and was a very successful producer of TV shows like ''The Dick Van Dyke Show'' and ''The Andy Griffith Show''. His daughter, Marlo, starred for many years in the show ''That Girl''. He was show biz royalty. And, he also started the ''St Jude's Hospital'', which has always taken on sick people regardless of their economic status. The motto of the hospital is that they will never turn anyone away. This one act of human kindness should have guaranteed automatic admission into Heaven for Danny, who died in 1991. He seemed like a good guy. But, a story about him has always stumped and repulsed people for ages. It seems, hold onto your stomach here, that Danny Thomas had a fetish for eating human excrement. He shared this secret with family and friends. Danny said that he liked the taste of human waste and recommended it to others to try. Now, I have heard this about other people, including famed Chicago Cubs sportscaster, Jack Brickhouse, who liked to frequent S&M clubs asking people there if they would ''drop the kids off'' on his face. But, Danny Thomas is the only star I know of that personally like to eat the fecal matter. Very strange, I know. I don't know if Thomas and Brickhouse were friends, but, if they were, it gives new meaning to going out and getting shit-faced. This disgusting story is fact, based on Danny Thomas supposedly admitting it. ........ Milton Berle, King Schlong. Yes, many of you may be aware that Uncle Milton was the most well-endowed man in Hollywood. Even such hung stars as Frank Sinatra, Humphrey Bogart, and Jamie Lee Curtis, stood in awe of his massive organ. And, Milton was never shy in bringing the fella out for some air. One account had it looking like an some anaconda. It always amused his comedian friends. One time, a bunch of comedians were in a locker room. Milton was there, along with Forrest Tucker, from ''F Troop'' fame, also known as a Hollywood big man. A contest developed of which star was bigger. Serious money was thrown around as various people took sides. Forrest pulled his out, but, Milton, on this one occasion, was a tad shy. Finally, Jackie Gleason, who had money on Berle, delivered a classic line. '' Come on, Milton. Just take out enough so we can win!''. Milton did and was the winner. Milton Berle died in 2002. His dick died three years later....... Mrs. David Geffen. David Geffen is a very powerful man in Hollywood, arguably, the most powerful. His success in records and films has his fortune estimated in the billions. He also has a reputation as a ruthless, mean-spirited pariah whom you do not cross without retribution. He is a dirty fighter, with supporters and enemies a mile long. In short, he is perfect for the Hollywood community. David is also openly gay. So, stories about him and other men are not the least bit shocking. Except, for one story. Around 1995, a story went around that David Geffen married a man. The man? Keanu Reeves. Yes, the good looking, but, very untalented actor of many movies. The story became fodder for late-night talk show hosts and comedians around the world. Both denied the story, but, like all good sexual stories about the stars, this one would not die. Even today, the embers of the story still are flickering. This story, however, should be discounted. Keanu Reeves is a lightweight actor, but, he has gone out of his way to avoid the spotlight and try to live a normal, private life. Yes, there are rumors about his sexuality, but, there are also stories about his nailing hot women. The story was amusing, but, like Keanu's acting, it doesn't have much substance.......... Let me state again that these stories are rumors. So, take them with a grain of salt. Perhaps, some are true, like the Milton Berle story, and, some are vicious lies designed to hurt reputations. Either way, it gave me something to write about on a slow day. There are more such stories in Hollywood. In future blogs I will revisit the human desire to gossip about the stars...... Now, it is time for me to meet someone for lunch. Thank God I am not meeting Danny Thomas........