Candle In The Wind At 50

She died in August, 1962. At just 35 years of age. And, yet she is bigger in death than she ever was in life. Now, Marilyn Monroe was no small potatoes when she was alive. She was the ultimate sex symbol of the 20th Century. Beloved by men, obviously, but, curiously, she has always been beloved by women. It is highly unusual for someone who bases their whole career on sensuality to be embraced by all walks of life. But, she was. And, ironically, it was also her downfall... The stories have been well told about her. About her rise from an unhappy childhood to the peak of popularity around the world. Since she died so young, she is ageless. That happens when the fast lane living crowd burn out at an early age. James Dean will forever be the Rebel Without A Cause because he died in a car crash--- he was legally blind without his glasses, and for some reason, chose not to wear them when he drove. Hence, his car crash that killed him. But, he is immortal, like Marilyn Monroe, so, he retains an aura of youth and what might have been. The work of the fast burnouts of fame get magnified, so, they take on an historic claim that is debatable at best. For all her sex appeal and seduction, Marilyn was an average actress at best. Perhaps, had she lived, she might have grown into a capable character actress. She played comedy well, but, always as the ditzy blonde. In reality, Marilyn was quite intelligent. Much has been made about her love life and being dominated by strong men, but, the truth was that this girl from various foster homes could hold her own with the fastest and most brilliant men that she was involved with. She was no dumb blonde.... Except for when she got involved with some of these men. Some used her for sex, like various agents and studio rat executives. Some genuinely loved her and tried to protect her, like Joe DiMaggio and playwright Arthur Miller. Some loved her as a pal, like Frank Sinatra and his Rat Pack. And, some used her for their personal power play with women, like John Kennedy. Marilyn, I'm sure, saw the advantages of riding along with these men. But, her blind spot seemed to thinking that she could somehow tame them, which then, would allow these men to take care of her. She came the closest with DiMaggio. Whenever she strayed to a dark area of her life she called him. And, he was always there for her. Why their marriage never lasted seems to be because he wanted her at home behind the stove, not being ''Marilyn Monroe'', but, rather her just being Norma Jean. There was a strong part of Marilyn that very much wanted to be a stay at home wife and mother. She also loved the limelight and was drawn to this life. DiMaggio demanded that she choose. She chose the limelight. Even though it pained them both to divorce they did so on most friendly terms. They still loved each other and had reconciliations, but, never more than short intervals. They were the love of each others lives. Til her death, he was never more than a phone call away.... Her fame was both a blessing and a curse. That is how it is with many celebrities. They have that hole in their souls that love from family, friends, or, a lover, can never fill. The crowd cheers for them and the adulation washes over them, but, soon they are off the stage and they feel the loneliness creeping in. Marilyn was by no means alone with this feeling. When the hole needs to be filled that is when people like her turn to drugs and alcohol. Also, that is also when the leeches of fame come calling. There is usually no one there to tell them that they are self-destructing. The march towards death has begun and you lose your perspective of yourself.... It is fairly well-known that Marilyn was terrified of performing in front of a camera. This made her difficult to work with for the studios and her co-stars and directors. Perhaps because of this, she was never considered for the strong female parts of the 50's and early 60's. While she may bring in audiences, it wasn't worth the effort to employ her. This intensified her downhill spiral because she desperately wanted to be acclaimed as a actress. Like many before and after her, when the studios pidgeonhole you in a certain way it is hard to break out of that stereotype and strut your true abilities. She became swallowed up by her creation of ''Marilyn Monroe, Sex Symbol''. Despite her best efforts, she never killed her image of the dumb blonde.... Her most famous affair was with John Kennedy when he was President. This has become the stuff of legend. Just when it started and how long it lasted has never been documented, but, it did happen. There are various accounts in various books and documentaries. An interesting thing about something like this affair is that everybody around her at this time has a take on their affair. Some say it was serious. Some say it was fleeting. Some say she had a little red book with all the secrets that JFK told her. Some say it doesn't exist, and, even if it did, Kennedy would never disclose such secrets to an unstable woman like Marilyn. Housekeepers, fading Hollywood actors, private detectives, Secret Service agents, etc, have all put their two cents in about these two. When the dust has settled, it appears to be that they had a sexual tryst or two, but, nothing meaningful. Marilyn had to know that John Kennedy would never leave his wife for her. She also had to realize that he was a notorious ladies man who though that sex was a sport, not intimacy. And, also, there appears to be nothing about her and Bobby Kennedy. This are rumors and innuendo. Bobby Kennedy was a religious family man. His boss, J. Edgar Hoover, who hated him, kept many files on the Kennedy Family. There were stacks of information about Jack Kennedy and his philandering, but, there is no mention of infidelity in Hoover's files about RFK. If there was an affair with Marilyn, surely Hoover-- and, Bobby Kennedy's vast enemies--- would have used it against him. It seems that Marilyn and Robert Kennedy were just friends, which was a first for her with men.... How she died, and if she was murdered, we do not know about. Her death was ruled an accidental overdose. Until firm evidence is uncovered to prove otherwise this is the reason for her death. She was unhappy at the end. A victim of her own self-abuse and someone who was victimized by fame. Many used her and she used many. At the end there were stories about Frank Sinatra trying to save her [ after an attempted suicide by her at the hotel he owned] by offering to marry her and protect her. Joe DiMaggio was also nearby, waiting for her to come back to him. So many knights in shining armor were there for her, but, she was not there for herself. At the end her career was in a flux--she had been fired from her last movie because of tardiness and not showing up on the set--- but, there still were offers to work for her. Whether her career would have rebounded, or, whether she was over the hill in the notoriously youth-obsessed Hollywood is an open question. What is clear is that at the end Marilyn did not have the answers herself... So, she died and became a legend. She is forever young and sexy in our minds. She will never grow old. If she were alive today she would be in her 80's and most likely, sickly and frail. That image of Marilyn would never do. We want her young. We want her purring her sexual soul. We want that vulnerability and charm. With her death, all of that remains intact. It is pristine, never to go away. Like most great movie stars we identify a little of ourselves in her. Maybe, it is the person with the horrible, abusive childhood and surviving it. Maybe, it is the innocent going out into the world and getting stung by its harshness. Maybe, it is the person who found love and lost it, but, still trying to find it again. Maybe, it the person, who against all odds, triumphs over adversity, and, for a short time, reigns over the world. And, maybe, we see ourselves in her downfall and we must learn the lessons to protect the frail and innocent. Marilyn has been dead for 50 years, but, in our minds, she is forever that girl we want her to be, standing over the subway shute while her dress flies up. Part sexual, part childlike innocence.... Every year until 1999, red roses were delivered faithfully to the crypt that houses Marilyn Monroe's body. The roses were a sign of one man's love for his lost love. As always, the card was signed simply, ''Joe''......