A Royal Toast

''Dear Harry and Meghan...... Let me be among the many that wish you two kids the best in your upcoming nuptials!!! Like hundreds of millions of mere mortals, I want the best for both of you. Young couples are struggling all over the world with new matrimony and I expect you two rascals to walk that fine line of the beginner and the novice. Naturally, money will be a constant worry. Most couples start out slowly. Perhaps, you two can make do with a small apartment by where you work. Rents are high in England, from what I hear. Hell, you might be forced to share a flat with another couple of Royals just to make ends meet. Or, you may have to move in with the in-laws. Harry, I've heard that your family has a few extra rooms in that old clunker of a subsidized house that your family has somehow managed to hold on to for generations. Maybe, just maybe, Mom and Dad Windsor will let you sleep in the basement. Sure, it will be chilly come wintertime, but---- wink!!! wink!!!---- I'm sure you lovebirds can create your own warmth!!!........ On that subject--- sleeping together---- I'm sure that you both are virgins because you have never been married before and I know you do not want to go against your sainted religion. Take it slow, kids. I know you two have the hots for each other. Young people and their hormones!!!! But, just think back to the sex education you two learned in school. Meghan, you were raised American, so, I know what you learned. Harry, the history of English education is legendary, with public schools being very tolerant and encouraging to their youngsters. Why, I've even heard of headmasters actually feeling bad after breaking a cane over the head of a misguided demon child. So, I'm positive that the sex talk was done with the utmost care. Take it from an old unmarried man like myself: take your time with The Virgin Meghan Markle. She will not disappear from your sight if you wait until she is ready. Treat her with respect, kindness, a keen sense of awe. She loves you and your pauper ways. She is in love with you!!!! That is all she wants!!!! When genuine love rules the ranch, sex is the cherry on the cake!!!! So, take it easy with her cherry. Treat her like a Princess!!!!!...... Another matter you two should be aware of is when you both feel comfortable enough with each other to start farting freely. Come, come, we all do it, kids!!!! Nothing to be ashamed of!!!! I'm sure it was never mentioned during the pre-nup, but, it will happen and you will release the glorious freedom from your insides. The sign of commitment is the loud raspy rip first thing in the morning. At first, Harold, you will think someone is sounding revelry by bugle. But, reality will tell you that she and her bowels are awake and, also, what she had for dinner. Hold her close, after the odor disappears. Tell her to pull your finger so you two can be as one.......... I assume you two have talked children. This is the most important part of any marriage after discussing doing a threesome. You both look like you are kids at heart. Harry, you have that imp look that your Father/Cousin has. Meghan, I don't know your heritage but I know you come from Los Angeles, that great city of sincerity and good feelings and real body parts. You must have been raised well by your Mom and Dad, Tad and Bambi. With both of you being raised by good stock, I'm positive that, by osmosis, your offspring will be prized children. Perhaps, they may even grow up and not have to worry about the normal things we all have to deal with. But, take it slow!!!! You do not want multiple children around the same age group!!! That would put a strain on your finances, and Harry, you might have to get a second job at WalMart......... Your wedding will be small, I'm positive. The neighborhood church that seats but a few. A video photographer that is a family friend. Be careful on not going over the limit on whom you invite!!! And, keep track of the gifts and who gave you what. That way, when you go to other weddings, you will have the proper amount to give. Sigh. I hope, since you are registered at Target, that you do not get a lot of toasters......... And, then, dear Meghan, you have your new in-laws. Do not be blinded by their beauty and electric personalities. Believe it or not, they have a hidden side. From Queen Elizabeth and her notorious nude wrestling pool parties, to Prince Charles and his famous love affair with the kid from ''Deliverance'' , the Windsors are a randy bunch. Sure, they can be a sporty crew--- like when the Queen likes to get drunk on ripple and show strangers her balls. But, please have some patience with this fun-loving bundle of dreamers. Take a cue from the sainted Princess Diana on how to handle them..... Ah, maybe, not with this last thought. You do not wanna die ''accidently'' in a Paris tunnel..........  There is more, so much more, to your marriage that you will experience. Take time and smell the roses. Look around at the wonder of your union and how you are everyone's fairy tale life!!!!!........ One more thing to look around at if you have time. Look around at what is going on in your home country of England. Take a family chauffeured drive around the cities and countryside. See what life is really like. Look at the poverty, which has grown worse as the decades have gone on. Look at the starving children, many of them still abused by the corporate punishment being given out in the sadistic school system. Look at the men and women who struggle mightily every day, as little by little, their health and spirits are shattered by continual gloom. Look at the horrible health care that these people do get--- waiting for their turn to have quality care in what passes for hospitals. And, then, look at your family history, Harry, and see how the Windsor Family--- the so-called ''Royal Family''---- have done nothing to stop the suffering. Your vast fortune was built on the blood of others, the so-called ''masses'' of your country. You know, the people who are not the ''beautiful people'' that you have been raised to believe you are. The ones that you tax and take from without any thought of what it is doing to their lives. The people who you pose for and egotistically court their adulation, putting yourself on pedestals because you feel you are so much better than the poor unwashed....... Well, I've got news for you both: you are nothing to me. I have forever wondered why the ''Royals'' have gotten away with murder for centuries of abuse. Yes, I get the schoolgirl fantasy of marrying your Prince Charming, but it does not hold water to reality. Why this country of Britain--- with more working class than even America----has not risen up and overthrown these charlatans and their caste system is beyond me........ So, you two will have to excuse my indifference at all of the hoopla at the engagement news. I do not care, as, I'm assuming, most people do not. Perhaps, you two are decent people---I hope so. Maybe, you will be the generation that wipes away the tyranny of the past and present. Maybe, you two will lead a revolution, kinda like what we did when we separated from the Mother Country in 1776. But, I do not think so. It is an endless cycle of abuse, the classic example of the very rich taking advantage of the rest of the population. You two are photogenic, I grant you that. Many people will follow your every move. For those poor souls, I have to question the pathetic state of their lives that they follow with interest the very people who represent the family who have shattered their dreams....... Piss off!!!!....... Jim Scoleri, American''............

Random Thoughts: November 2017

I have not written in a while. I'd like to say that it is because I have been very busy trying to solve the world's problems, inventing cures for diseases, or, getting laid a lot. The last one has some ring of truth to it, but, on the whole, the reason I have not written is simple laziness. Oh, I excel in this department!!! Happily!!! Joyfully!!! If I could skip like I did when I was younger---- which kept me out of the military--- I would be skipping around and singing to the highest mountaintops my joy of laziness. But, since I am lazy, I will not be doing this. Laziness takes a lot of work........ We are a little over a year since Donald Trump was elected President, in an election that surprised everyone [including, I'm sure, Mr. Trump himself]. So, what has happened with him being in the White House and the fallout? About what I expected. I voted for the weasel knowing full well that it was gonna be a shitshow. Why? Well, I did not want HER. I could not look myself in the mirror if I voted for Hillary Clinton. And, I would not change that one year later. That does not mean, however, that I am a fan of President Trump. Far from it. When I write that his Presidency is turning out like I thought it would, it gives me no satisfaction, just the sad and fearful truth that I was right about him all along. His Presidency, so far, has become a national car crash of scandals, unfounded statements, and scary thoughts that this man is quite unstable. I do not know if the Russians played a part in the election results. It would not surprise me if they did. Until some strong and unbiased evidence is brought forth against him, we have to assume his victory is legit. Still, Donald Trump as President Of The United States does not warm my heart. The fact he is ruthless and self-centered and egotistical is not fresh news. Name me someone in politics who isn't? My deep concern is his temper and his unfiltered mouth. Some applaud this cowboy behavior, as if it is a sign of his macho demeanor. It is not. He is on the Bully Pulpit and he enjoys swinging his animus at real and perceived enemies. Just because you act tough doesn't mean that you are tough. but, please, someone take away his Twitter account!!! In the middle of the night, when he is taking a dump, our President has his insecurities and phobias inflamed and he takes to social media. I do that too, but, I'm writing a fucking blog, not running the most powerful country in the world. His ramblings, which can sound deranged, are of a frightening nature. It stuns me that a man this smart [and, I do believe he is smart] cannot just let criticisms roll off his chest and talk about how well things are going. The economy is going gangbusters, investments are up, the Stock Market is rocking and rolling. Since people usually vote with their wallets, try telling the world about how well they are doing. But, no. He attacks with venomous rage, like a 1st grader, and scares the shit out of everyone who does not adore him. And, the media is no help to him. They hate him and have an all-out war against every move that he makes. And, he falls for their antics, hook, line, and sinker. Let us hope that the next few years are of sound mind and body from Trump. It has to get better. I fear it will not......... Hollywood is taking a big blackeye with all of the sexual misconduct and harassment claims being leveled almost daily now. First, it was the deplorable Harvey Weinstein. Then, Kevin Spacey was next on deck. Louis C.K. followed quickly. And, now, the politicians like Roy Moore, George H. W. Bush, and Al Franken are this week's fodder. There will be more, perhaps, even more shocking from what we have heard. But, is anyone TRULY surprised to hear this? You may be shocked to hear that a favorite movie star is not a Knight In Shining Armor. I will not be. I long ago gave up on public people being saints. Many are vipers, doing anything they can to further themselves. Not all, but, quite a few. And, with power comes corruption of values that you are supposed to hold in your soul. That Kevin Spacey would force himself on young boys, that Weinstein [ a true terror of human behavior] would take advantage of women is old news. What I worry about, though, is the men and women who are coming out now to jump on the gravy train. They are out there, hucksters who see the money and fame and notoriety and can't resist themselves. The Jerry Springer audience who are misguided enough to accuse an innocent person just so they can feel large. Reputations may be ruined, careers tarnished. It takes away from the true victims of abuse [both famous and mere mortals] . Like anyone else, I want the guilty punished. But, I also want the accusation liars to be punished also. It is a dangerous minefield to accuse someone of improper behavior. If it did happen, justice must be served. Still, with my cynicism of some of my fellow men and women, I see situations and lives that may explode. Years ago, I worked with a guy who put 40 years into the company we worked for. Side by side with him for most of those years sat his loyal female assistant. One day, they had a furious fight over business. It fell over into the personal area. The next day, this 40 year veteran was called in on sexual harassment charges. It was complete nonsense. Long story short, he had to get a lawyer and six months went by before his assistant admitted that her charges were false against him. He was cleared by the company but he had a dark cloud following him until he finally retired. People whispered about him, no longer could he kid around and tell a woman that her new haircut looked nice. He left the company a broken man. There are many stories like this in the world. In today's society, accusations go hand in hand with guilt. Again, I want the abusers punished. I also want the innocent to not be fed to the wolves........ Charles Manson is dead. The most notorious murderer of modern times finally met his Maker. It was a long time coming. The fact that he lived as long as he did is something God can only explain. It is an affront to us all that we even know his name and story. A scumbag who ''preached'' his half-ass mantra to a bunch of smelly, drop-out hippies--- many of them sharing the murderous rage that flowed within him. The Gospel According To Charlie stated that a blacks against the whites revolution was brewing. Charlie and his ''Family'' would hide in the desert until after this revolution. Charlie believed that black people would triumph but they would need a leader to guide them to world domination. Enter Charles Manson and his ''Helter Skelter'' scenario. Of course, this made no sense, but, try explaining this to his disciples and their acid-soaked brains. The gullible believed Charlie and followed his every whim. That the real story of the Manson Family murders---- the music business rejecting Manson as a recording artist---- meant nothing to these animals. Charlie was their ''Jesus Christ'' and they followed his lead exactly. And, murdered for him. Popular belief has it that Manson was one of the killers on the nights of the Tate-LaBianca slayings but Charlie never killed anyone those nights. He just planned them. That is not to say, though, that Manson never murdered anyone in his life. Charlie always claimed to have put ''five in the ground'', meaning bloodshed. Possibly, he killed more than that. We will never know. One persistent rumor for years was that he murdered singer Bobby Fuller [''I Fought The Law''] in 1968, a year before the Sharon Tate slayings. Whatever his murder history is, he is forever a blight on our existence. Sadly, Charles Manson will never be forgotten. Ask the average person on the street to name his victims. Chances are, they cannot. But, everyone knows Charles Manson. It is wrong, I know. But, it is fact. There is an old theory that one reason why we are all fascinated by murderers is that we sit comfortably and safe in our homes while we read about the terrible exploits of these killers. You are nice and snug and safe in your home, not at all in danger. But, as we all love horror movies, we love the stories of the macabre. From a safe distance. Leno and Rosemary LaBianca felt that same serenity the night Charles Manson broke into their home, tied them up, and then left while his ''Family'' bludgeoned them to death. There is a small but loud lunatic fringe that has always embraced Charles Manson. They see him as anti-establishment, a true rebel. And, he is celebrated by this frightening group of outcasts. Guns N Roses has even recorded a song by him. To tell these misguided fools what Manson really is would be a waste of breath. People will believe what they will believe. The important thing right now is that he is dead. Long may he roast in Hell........ The 2017 ''Mark Twain Award'' has been given to the great David Letterman. It is a lifetime achievement honor bestowed to a comedian that has made a mark on the national consciousness. They sure picked a winner with Dave. His influence on comedy has been enormous for the last 35 years. Every talk show host on TV now owes an enormous debt to Letterman and his skewed sense of the absurd. Also, stand-up comedy. Dave played the wise, smart-ass observer of the everyday foibles of the population. He became a spokesman for the masses, the Mark Twain of modern times. So, it is richly deserved that he has received such an honor. Miss you, Dave........ I also miss the Chicago Cubs. Partly, I miss seeing the boys playing exciting baseball. And, also, because the Bears and Hawks and Bulls look dead in the water. The Hawks still have fire and might go far this year if their veterans start kicking it into gear. Lets hope, because the other two winter sports teams in town already look like they lost before they hit the playing arena. The Bears have a highly-anticipated prospect in Mitch Trubisky as QB. He has been spotty so far but that is to be expected, at first, from a rookie. He needs to keep playing and then we will see what we have after this season. The real fear in the Bears--- besides having no wide receivers or secondary--- is an befuddled coaching staff led by John Fox. Every time they show Fox on the sidelines, he looks like a dementia victim. He looks clueless out there, like he doesn't understand how the game is played and what city he is in. And, only the Bears can not just lose a challenge call but also the possession, as happened recently against the Packers. The organization drafts lousy, there is infighting among the inbred McCaskey family, and a dwindling interest in the NFL overall. The Bears will always be the Number 1 team in town. However, the Cubs have always been nipping at their heels in terms of popularity. The Bears better watch out or they could be overtaken. As for the Bulls, start playing ''Taps''. They look so bad out there that the ''Little Sisters Of The Poor'' could kick their asses. Long ago I stopped watching the NBA when it became a hoodlum sport, so, I am no expert on teams. However, I know a bad team in sports and this Bulls team is awful. So, now, we must look to spring for more than just the nice weather that will be awaiting us. The Cubs should be strong again, and, the White Sox may be the sleeper team in baseball. I am still hoping for a future World Series between them. That would be wild. Even John Fox could not screw that up...... Well........