My Kinda Of Pope

I really dig Pope Francis. He seems like the kind of guy that you would want running that travesty called The Vatican. Francis---- or, Frankie, to us friends------ is progressive in his modern thinking. Well, almost. He still believes that priests cannot be married and enjoy a normal life of a loveless marriage with two people stuck together. And, he still preaches the fallacy that any Pope has God's ear. But, on the whole, he is modern. He sees the world and its issues with a clear, concise head....... Which is refreshing because he is stuck in an institution known as the Catholic Church. The teachings of the Church, as I know so well because I was raised a Catholic, is founded on the simple concept of fear and guilt as an emotional tag team. We must fear God, fear the Church, fear your parents, fear basically everything they can say. And, if you don't feel the fear, then, guilt is your sin. Say, for example, you have the impure thought of sexual congress with another human being. That is wrong, you see, because sex is only to be used for procreation. Or, if a altar boy is handy. But, you must have guilt also if things are going well for you. The Church preaches that for all that is going right for you, it is unworthy because there is too much suffering in the world and it is partly your fault. I know. I'm sorry for my selfishness for enjoying all of the riches that were laid upon me. I really should give away my millions and go live with the lepers in their colonies. I feel guilt for my sins of living my life the way it was handed to me. And, I certainly fear retribution from God!!!!........ My hope is that Pope Francis is such a realist that he will bring the Church out of the Dark Ages of thinking. It is a tall order. The first thing he needs is to be completely revolutionary and state the hilarious false lunacy that the Bible is. It always astounds me that normal thinking people still buy all of the fiction that comes from this book. I'm not talking about the messages of human unity and love that are stated. No, I'm talking about the incredible tales of sorcery and downright lies that are taken as the gospel. My favorite parts of the Bible are the stories of the stories of Moses and Noah. Take Noah: we all know about him and his Ark. How, at the tender age of 600, with the help of his 100 year old sons, [ who needs Viagra!] Noah Jr, Skitch, and Fredo, he assembled three million animals on Earth---- conveniently in a five mile region of his undertaking----- and slid them all nice and tidy inside the Ark. The Ark,----- the first Man Cave----- boasted enough room to house two of every kind of animal to save them from, I guess, extinction. However, the Ark did also boast a fine sound system for Noah to blast some tunes. Although it isn't stated as such, I hear Noah loved the Supremes and had the hots for Diana Ross. A bumper pool table and DirecTV completed the layout, along with many DVD'S of Marilyn Chambers.........Moses was even more of a man. Hey, you think he ain't great shakes, do ya? Well, you try walking in the desert for 40 years without bottles of Evian water!!! I have a hard enough time getting up to take a piss at 3am!!!! Yes, Moses walked the desert and then, at some point, he sat upon a mountain and God spoke to him. God, played by the voice of Morgan Freeman, gave Mo Ten Rules to which a human must live by. A few were no brainers, like not killing and honoring thy parents and not stealing [unless, it was free cable]. Some were harder to swallow, like, blasphemy and coveting thy neighbors wife. Actually, this last one is not so difficult for me because my neighbor's wife looks like Moses in a babushka. But, my favorite part in the Moses story is his parting of the Red Sea. Now, this is some trick!!! All without CGI!!! Moses parted the Red Sea, let his friends cross under it [imagine the mud on the sandals!] and when they were safely over to the other side, let the water settle back, trapping the Egyptians---- led by Yul Brynner---- and murdering thousands of people. And, lets not forget later on the killing of the eldest males by God in support of Moses. I guess the ends justified the means in this mass murder......... But, I do not mean to turn this into a bashing of the Bible. I won't mention Jonah living in the whale for three days or, God turning Lott's wife into a pillar of salt. Pope Francis did not invent these fictions. However, he does abide by the law of the Bible and blindly proclaims the gospel inside of it. I have a problem with this. Besides the fantasy involved, the Bible also has endless amounts of violence---- horrible, sadistic violence inflicted by ''Higher Powers''---- in the ongoing crusade of every organized religion to prove that ''MY GOD IS BETTER THAN YOUR GOD!!!'' If Pope Francis throws out most of the teachings of the Bible and only retains the message of love and healing and accepting of all of our fellow humans----- no matter what they look like----- that is invoked in the tone of the narrative, then, I will fully believe that here is a man of action, a man who is plowing the ground of humanity and all of its faults and casting aside the deep prejudices and barriers that make up the book itself. Since most people are lemmings that will drift to the sea if you do not stop them, the Pope has a potentially strong opportunity to correct the ills of the past.......... He must allow more diversity and understanding. He must believe that his beliefs that he was raised on are no longer the beliefs of the world today. He must sweep away the horror of his Church and all of its underhanded dealings, starting with the horrendous pedophilia scandals that we know existed [and, sadly, still do exist]. He must hold those bastards accountable for their actions and crimes. And, those monsters must be punished in this life [God will take care of them in the next life, I'm certain] without the sordid protection that has been the Catholic Church MO for years. The past of the Old World must be buried forever. And, a New World Order must be embraced. The Pope must open the Church to a more modern role for women. The Catholic Church in the past has viewed women as little more than the street mutt, to blindly follow the man. The Church must concede what we have all known: that men and women are equal and must be treated as such. And, the Pope must embrace the gay lifestyle, for they too are the children of God. The Pope must address this long-held prejudice against gay people, explaining that the next time the haters are scrawling through the cherished Bible, pay strict and close attention to the parts of compassion and loving your fellow man [and women]. If we are God's love, then we are ALL God's love......... I am realistic enough to know that many of these changes I am addressing will never see the light of day. It would be nice, but, I am not fooling myself. Still, I do have the optimism that Pope Francis will do good things. He has made the first steps correctly, bringing up climate change, for example. I want this Pope to do well, since, millions still do blindly follow him instead of finding the inner strength and wisdom to lead their lives on their own free will. Maybe, his message of modern life will rub off on them and people will not need the dogma of religion to guide them and instead, find that they already know the answers on what to do to lead a successful life: Peace of Earth. Good will towards Man [ And, woman. See, I told you that they still view women negatively]........