''Baby, You're The Greatest''

The room speaks poverty. A table, very old, very plain. In the corner, by a flimsy window, is the sink, usually with spots of dirt around it. A toy stove is next to the sink, and, to its right, a thing they used to call an ''icebox''. On the other side of this cramped room is a dresser. Just a few drawers are in it, the two occupants that live in this place must store all of their belongings into it because they have nothing else. Next to the dresser is an unseen room, the bedroom. We can only imagine but I am willing to bet that this room looks just as bad as the other room. One added mixture to this depressing atmosphere is that this apartment is only seen by the viewer in harsh black and white. Color would add a little spirit to the room, a little cheer. When you add up all of the visual elements of this setting, it is hard to imagine that any laughs could come from this most depressing place. And, yet, as any poor person can tell you, you can wring laughs from the most darkest and saddest of places. It was from this spot, this simple room, that comic gold was found. This apartment was the home for a bus driver, his much-put-upon wife, and their wacky neighbors from above........''The Honeymooners'' was born sometime in the early 50's. Its exact date is lost to history. But, it appeared in a sketch on ''The Jackie Gleason Show'' at some point. Gleason was experiencing his first flush of fame. Jackie had struggled for years in nightclubs and bad movies in Hollywood before hitting it big in 1950. A forgotten network called DuMont was competing with the big three networks--- CBS, NBC, and ABC--- for viewers with this new oddity called television. They were desperate for any kind of programming and took a chance on an unknown, blowhard performer who called himself Gleason. Jackie showed up in New York only thinking he had the show for two weeks. He was a nobody. But, in that immense body there was a somebody waiting to burst out. And, he did. Royally. That two week job turned into a full-time television show all his own. Gleason created many characters on this show. The Poor Soul. Reginald Van Gleason, Joe The Bartender. Somewhere in this mix came the idea for a sketch about a couple who argue a lot but, ultimately, love each other. The idea sat for a time, unused. When Gleason was wooed to CBS in the fall of 1952, the idea for the sketch came back....... By 1952, Jackie Gleason was the hottest male star in TV. His ratings were huge [ second only to ''I Love Lucy ] and he made himself known to the public, both onscreen and off. He was a big, barrowing man of immense talent and immense ego. He was a force of nature on the small screen and he was one of the legendary drinkers in show business in private. Both his life and art merged--- as they do with many performers. He was a loud and crude man at times, but, he also had a sweet spot underneath all of the bravado. His TV characters reflected this. And, when he brought back the idea of doing a series of sketches about a frazzled married couple, Gleason brought a lot of himself to this part. Gleason was quick to temper and got frustrated very easily if things did not go his own way. They call this a perfectionist. Jackie, seeing himself more clearly than people gave him the credit for, thought that this husband should mirror him. But, he would not be a success, Jackie stated. Comedy comes from everyday life, where broken dreams and heartbreak make up the existence for most people. Gleason wanted his TV husband to be on the downside, always looking to improve his lot in life. That way, he rightly reasoned, the audience would feel an immediate bond and understanding........ Gleason wanted Ralph Kramden to have an occupation that got him annoyed everyday when he went to work. A bus driver seemed to be the correct choice. The wife, Alice, would be a stay at home housewife, very common in the 50's. If she would have worked, then, maybe, they would not have been so poor. But, Ralph Kramden was a proud man who took care of his wife. The conditions in the apartment would reflect Gleason's childhood. He grew up in a sad environment, His father left when he was a small boy. His older brother died when Jackie was a teenager.  And, when Jackie was 19, his mother died. The set on ''The Honeymooners'' was right out of the living conditions he grew up in. To a T.......... Jackie Gleason always prided himself on spotting talent. There was a hard-faced comedienne that he was fond of called Pert Kelton. She was no beauty, to be sure. She had a coarse voice and a demeanor of someone spoiling for a fight. She would be perfect for his Alice. The first sketch was formed sometime in the fall of 1952. It would be just Ralph and Alice. There would be another actor who would be playing a policemen in a walk-on part......... Art Carney was a funny man who do not know how funny he was. Like Gleason, he had pain in his life. He struggled with self-doubt and depression his whole life. Also, alcohol. He was a gentle man who would not hurt a fly. Carney was also a tremendously talented man, able to effortlessly move back and forth between comedy and drama. But, he was trying to make his mark in comedy and had a standup comedy act that was not that good. His forte was sketch comedy work. He shined in playing off-center, kooky characters that were sweet at heart. He was a journeyman actor when he first appeared with Jackie Gleason, looking for his true calling. When he got the job on that first sketch, he was hired to play a policeman. In Carney, Gleason immediately saw how much he and Art clicked. They had instant chemistry. They were very much mismatched in real life---- they never became close friends off-camera---- but, there was a real brilliance when they interplayed with each other onstage. Almost instantly, a genius comic team was born........ Jackie Gleason always hated to rehearse. He was notorious for doing his first performance of a sketch live. This shook up the other performers who worked with him. In time, Gleason would let his stand-ins go through the paces with the other actors so they could get some idea on how the sketch would fair on air. When Gleason saw how ''The Honeymooners'' sketch was going, he was dismayed. The idea had appealed to him and he thought the concept had promise but it was bombing onstage. Just before showtime on Saturday night, he met with Pert Kelton and Art Carney to discuss what they should do. Naturally, a bottle of scotch was present, and, according to Gleason, the three of them proceeded to get shit-faced. When ''The Jackie Gleason Show'' went on the air that night, all of the other sketches planned went over well. When it came time to show this ''Honeymooners'' sketch for the first time, Gleason told them to wing it. He said that they would start out the sketch arguing about baking bread. From there, who knows what would happen?........ The sketch started with Ralph coming home, as usual, aggravated. This started an instant fight with Alice. Ralph wanted his bread that Alice was supposed to bake. Alice retorted that she had no time for the bread because she was doing other household chores. Soon, it escalated into a fight with both Ralph and Alice throwing dough out of the window while they argued. At some point, there was a knock on the door. A policeman came in. He was covered in the dough that was thrown out of the window. This made for a big laugh from the audience. Finally, to end the sketch, Art Carney made a funny little move onstage and the sketch was over......... It was simple, no great fireworks. But, the audience embraced the sketch right away. Jackie and the others were stunned. Mail poured in from the public wanting more of this ''Honeymooners'' sketch. The following week, the ''Honeymooners'' appeared again. But, there was one big change. Jackie Gleason knew that he had to have Art Carney in the show every time they did a sketch. So, he and the writers came up with a good friend for Ralph called Ed Norton. Norton was no genius, and, certainly, was no policeman type. They wanted to give him something goofy as a job. Thus was born, ''Ed Norton, Sewer Worker''. or, as Norton called himself, ''An Underground Engineer''. Norton was given a wife so Alice could have a partner in the battle of the sexes. Her name was Trixie, played by Joyce Randolph.......... As ''The Jackie Gleason Show'' soared off in popularity week after week, year after year, the ''Honeymooners'' sketches were always the most popular of all his characters. They weren't done every week---that would be burnout, which would lesson its impact--- but, were shown enough that the public could not wait to see them. Gleason used Carney and Pert Kelton in other roles on his show playing other parts. They were too gifted to just limit them to one segment. However, this was the 1950's, when the ''Communist Scare'' was everywhere. Performers in show business were falling under the blacklisting tag. If you once were a communist or associated with one, you had trouble finding work. The government came looking for you. Pert Kelton was one of these people. She was no Red, but she had some interaction with some dubious people which made her a hot potato for CBS. The network demanded Gleason--- who was in charge of every aspect of his show--- to fire her. Gleason refused. He liked Kelton. And, she was his Alice. Many arguments shot back and forth between Gleason and the network, with the government throwing its two cents into the fight. Finally, Gleason's sponsor to his show gave him an ultimatum: either he get rid of Kelton or they were pulling out of his show. This meant the show would go down in flames and be off the air. Jackie Gleason finally went along with this but it steamed him. He was loyal to his people. Pert Kelton understood this. She gracefully resigned, citing ''heart problems''. Now, the show needed a new Alice, someone who could fit into the already dynamite chemistry among the actors........ Audrey Meadows was a pretty girl. Too pretty for many roles. And, she was rich in her personal life. She had that ''rich girl'' feel to her that would turn off an audience that religiously watched the ''Honeymooners'' sketches. But, she was a determined woman who wanted desperately to work with ''The Great One'' [ a title bestowed on Gleason by Orson Welles]. When she met with Jackie, he told her plain out that she was too pretty for the role of Alice and rejected her. This fired up Audrey's determination to get the part. So, she arranged for a photographer friend of hers to snap some unflattering pictures of her. Like, when she just got up in the morning without any makeup. She looked frumpy. The photos were taken and sent to Jackie without a name attached. When he saw them, he immediately wanted her for Alice. When he was told that it was the pretty actress Audrey Meadows, he laughed and said, ''Any dame who goes to this extreme is someone I want!'' Audrey Meadows was soon hired and started playing Alice. She fit in perfectly with Gleason and Carney. The three of them worked like a well-oiled clock [ the Trixie role was only used for a few minutes per show. It was a thankless role for Joyce Randolph, but she was not in the same league as the other three ]. The popularity of the ''Honeymooners'' exploded with the arrival of Audrey. Soon, CBS was approaching Gleason with a novel idea. Why not do a half-hour show every week, filmed instead of live, with expanded plots? Gleason liked the idea. He walked away from his Saturday night live show and focused his energies on doing this weekly ''Honeymooners'' show. It would be broadcasted during the 1955/56 television season. There would be 39 episodes......... These shows, known as the ''Classic 39'', would go down in TV history as the finest season any show would have. The premise was the same: Ralph always coming up with a ''get rich quick'' scheme that would blow up in his face. There would be Norton, all dumb but good hearted to the bone. There would be Alice, the patient wife, who would go toe-to-toe with Ralph but loved him regardless. Along the way, there would be episodes in these 39 that would forever become a part of the TV viewer. Ralph learning to play golf, [ ''hello, ball!'], his visits from his mother-in law, the ''Chef Of The Future'', where he and Norton go on television with another scheme to get rich. Ralph witnessing a robbery. Ralph finding out that Alice got a phone. There would be Ralph playing pool with his boss and another show when he thinks he is dying. There would be the shows of arguing with Ralph threatening to send Alice to the moon. And, through all of this, through the yelling and screaming, came the feeling that these four really loved each other. You cared for them and hoped that Ralph would finally get lucky and strike it big. After all, he was doing it for Alice. Think about all of his brilliant ideas on making it big. They were all for her. He wanted her to live life like a queen. And, Alice realizes this and forgives him. That is at what is at the heart and center of any ''Honeymooners'' show. And, it always ended with where it should have: with Ralph saying, ''Baby, you're the greatest!' and kissing her...... Shockingly, this half-hour version of the show was not a ratings hit. It did ok, but, all 39 episodes were no great shakes when they counted the Nielson numbers. Gleason, feeling the ego hurt, and, also feeling, that they could not retain the high quality level for another full season, pulled the plug. The show just stopped. That is why there are only the 39 filmed episodes. Looking at it from a quality angle, it was the best time to go. In the old showbiz way of saying it, ''Leave them wanting more''.......... ''The Honeymooners'', the ''Classic 39'' shows, would be sold to syndication where they developed a rabid following. To this day, somewhere in the world, these 39 are playing. It has never been off the air........ When the 1960's came along, Jackie Gleason would start up his variety show again, this time from Florida [ ''The fun and sun capital of the world!'']. He would do ''Honeymooners'' sketches with Carney, but, no Audrey Meadows. She got married and retired from show business. Thus, Gleason got his third Alice incarnation, this time in the form of a fine actress, Sheila MacRae. Sheila would be a good Alice, but, she was no Audrey. These shows on the Gleason variety program were good but not great. They missed the magic that the ''Classic 39'' had. By the dawn of the 70's, Gleason would walk away from his variety show entirely to retire. There would be, in the 70's, reunion specials with Jackie, Art, and Audrey playing their parts again. These shows, hour long specials, were not that very funny. However, they did provide a thrill of seeing these actors again reprising the roles of a lifetime........ Around 1985, Jackie Gleason let a bit of tantalizing information out. He stated that he had, in an air-conditioned vault in Florida, the kinescopes of the early ''Honeymooners'' sketches from his show in the 50's. A kinescope is, basically, a camera pointed at a TV monitor and a crude copy was made. No one, when all the variety shows of the 1950's were broadcast live, thought to film any of these shows. So, kinescopes were the only document taken from these programs. And, Gleason had many that were just of ''The Honeymooners''. Some were with Pert Kelton, some with Audrey Meadows. They ran the gamut in length from a few minutes to a full hour. They were grainy looking but it was ''The Honeymooners''. Gleason sold them to Showtime for a huge price, and, those very old episodes were welcomed by an eager public. Some shows were good. Some were not. If anything, ''The Honeymooners'' became even more popular. Still, as welcome as these ''lost'' episodes were, nothing could top the beloved ''Classic 39''........... Mortality would finally catch up with them. Jackie Gleason, after a lifetime of celebrated partying, would succumb to colon cancer in 1987. Audrey Meadows would also fall victim to colon cancer in 1996. And, Art Carney, that marvelous prototype for all zany sidekicks in TV history, from Barney Fife to Kramer, would die of a weak heart in 2003. With each passing, they would each take with them a beloved character, never to be seen again........ Somewhere, in TV rerun Heaven, there is a shabby little room with just a few items of furniture. There is a bus driver named Ralph. There is a strong wife named Alice. And, there is a sweet-mannered sewer worker named Norton. The hijinks abound. There is arguing. There is real tension. There is comedy. And, at the end, there is the bus driver telling the woman he loves, ''Baby, You're The Greatest!''.... And, they kiss..........