The Social Network Of Computers

A few years ago there was a fine movie called ''The Social Network'', which told the story about the birth and growth of Facebook. This movie was fairly accurate, by movie standards. There was some ''artistic license'' practiced by the filmmakers, which is not unusual. A movie is the last place you should go to learn true historical facts. Anyway, the origins of Facebook came forth and its original intention was stated. It was to be what we all signed up hoping it would be, a social network, a way to communicate in that strange world that makes up cyberspace. You could talk to your family and friends via the site, and, also keep track of what was going on in your friends life. It sounded fun. And, for those of us with a big mouth who like to think they have big ideas to share  standard ''posts'' or updates, was a nice perk [ having a blog helps, too]. At first, like everyone, I was a little cynical about this. Yes, it is a good idea to stay connected to the world at large, but, it would never do for me to have this as a gateway to a social life. I was raised in a different time, a time when people communicated face to face, when relationships were formed by the instant contact one human being has for another. There is a coldness  about becoming ''friends'' with someone who is sitting in a lonely room, with a computer as a best friend. That is not me, nor, is it about anyone else that I know who is around my age. Again, getting back to pre-Internet times, our interaction with the public was direct and in your face. Social skills, so lacking in the newer generations coming along, were formed and refined. When you spoke to someone, language flowed, your words melded with theirs, and a true relationship was invented....... Not anymore. I have a little test that I use on people that I meet who are younger than me. I just let them talk. I sit back and listen to their speech patterns and inflections. You can tell right away if their social skills were defined by the Internet. The idea of holding a conversation---- using real worlds---- is quickly apparent. Also, the ability to stay focused for long periods of time. If they fail this test, then I know what I am dealing with here. Someone who is focused for the moment, but, cannot articulate that feeling for the moment. And, that is fine. Their brain has, sadly, been conditioned to small spurts of dialogue and thoughts. They are talking but the words they are saying aren't worth listening to. An even sadder residue is the lack of knowledge on how the world around them operates. They are shut out, without them understanding, of life functioning on an intelligent, adult basis. The only true way a human being can grow, it has been my experience, is to get out in the world and explore it. Explore with people. Learn from them. In the past, people would be socially inept because they had their noses buried in a book. Now, since young people refuse to read books, they learn from a computer and its websites. Conversations, usually in short hand style, ala texting, is their voice. Do my experiment some time. The next time you are out socially, say, in a bar or restaurant, where there is a wide spectrum of age around you, eavesdrop into some conversations. Chances are the over 30 crowd is speaking in complete sentences, without much profanity. The younger crowds will be speaking in computer talk, short spurts of words. That is, if they look up from their cellphones......... This is another thing. Cellphones. Ever been out with someone for a drink and they cannot let go of their cellphones? Because they are constantly checking if they have messages? Oh, we all know people like this. And, yes, it is primarily the younger crowd who is the biggest abuses of this. They talk--- computer talk, mind you---- and, then when you start talking, they keep checking their phone for whatever. Or, they text nonstop while you are trying to be social with them. This not only shows how short spanned their attention is, but, it is pretty fucking rude to the other person. You are here with me. If you wanna communicate with someone else, then go to them. And, then text me because the same pattern is happening to them that happened to me. Most people I cherish in my life do not do this, but, a few do. At first, I was put-off by the rudeness. Hey, if you don't wanna be hanging with me why did you consent to go out with me tonight? Did you think I would have waves of fun watching you text someone who is not here? Fuckin leave, then!!!! This was my thought a few years ago when cellphones became more important to some people than their sex organs. Now, I understand. It is the computer talking, albeit in a cellphone [ the case could be made that the cellphone is just an extention of the computer]. They mean no harm. They are, if they only knew it, victims of the technology age. They have many accesses to meet new people. But, they have nothing to say........ This has nothing to do with computer spurt talk. Or, maybe, someway, it does. I have noticed many people calling each other''dude'' more. Like, ''Dude, you don't know what your saying'', or, ''Dude, what song are you playing?'' Once in a while, this can be ok. But, once your over the age of twenty five, have the decency and maturity to call someone by their first name. You only use a person's last name when they are not around, like, ''I hope Scoleri comes to the bar wearing his pants.'' It is more polite, and, better manners, to address a fellow human being by their given first name. Maybe, it is tied into computer spurts and behavior. ''Dude'' may be easier to remember for some people who have had their mind shortened by the years of using the computer. I don't know, dude......... I go back to working at the school in a few weeks. I usually start by working registration week, which is not a requirement for my job. I just do it for fun [ and, money]. It is easy and it gives me a chance to say hello to the students before school starts. I get them when they take their photos for the year, so, I can exchange a few words with them while they are in line. It is a free and easy conversation. I ask them if they have enjoyed their summer off and what they did. Many tell me that they traveled or just bummed around the area. For those who have just stayed in town I ask them what their days and nights consisted of doing. Many do many activities and are out enjoying life. That is nice to hear. But, then, there are the other stories. Kids who didn't go out much. Usually, these kids do not have many friends, so, I have a soft spot for them. They tell me that their days and nights were spent on the computer, either playing games, or, surfing. And, this breaks my heart. I know they are lonely kids. They wanna find some interaction with someone. The computer is how they have been taught to find that interaction. And, as we all know, that is not how you start up a real friendship. Even as the year progresses I will ask them Monday mornings what they did over the weekend. Inevitably, it consisted of them staring at a screen that takes them all over the world. But, that world is fake. I encourage them to go do things and meet people outside the house. But, I get a look of resigned sadness and melancholy. They are stuck without the social skills to achieve this....... Please do not take away from this blog that I am anti-computer. Far from it. I love the computer and all it emcompasses. For instance, this mighty blog of mine would not be possible without the Internet [ keep your wise-ass comments to yourself!]. I love the interaction on Facebook and I love checking out various websites of my favorite things. The computer is invaluable today, especially, when hot news items are so readily available. No, my thoughts here today are about the social aspect of being a computer person. Most notably, in the younger crowd. I am on the computer a little more because I am middle-age and things have slowed down for me. I am most concerned about the under 35 crowd who is on this thing way too much when they should be out in the world meeting people and having human experiences. I still do it and it shocks me that I do it more than people who are half my age. I'm not saying to go all out and party your brains out [ I speak from personal experience there and it should be done in moderation], but, go out and have real conversations, with real people. You will be surprised, when you get a good companion to be with, on how unimportant Facebook is. You may even put down your cellphone for a while. My one complaint about computers is that it has robbed a whole generation of communication and growing closer with each other. It is too impersonal now...... I would like to go on further writing this, but, it is a beautiful summer day out now. I am going out to enjoy it. After your are done reading this I hope you will also.........