Dream Weaver

The sound of the voice was almost Heavenly. One of those voices that are mixed with a choir singing in a church. Almost like the angels were all in unison with the forces of the Thereafter. I do not want to state this in hyperbole terms. The worst thing to do in writing is to overwrite, or, writing that tries too hard. But, I know what I heard and it sounded very holy...... Recently, I had a strange dream. It was the last dream before I woke up in the morning, so, it is the most prominant dream of the night. My dreams have always been endlessly fascinating to me because I have always had a strong imagination. In slumber, magnify those thoughts and you have some quality entertainment going. Like all of you, my dreams show some sense and some head scratching. We have all had that dream that you are in some place familiar, yet, when you wake up and try to piece together what the dream meant, it doesn't add up. You know the area very well in your subconscious, but, the conscious shoots down the blocks of logic. Some dreams mean a lot, some are filler. Some please you enormously, some scare the hell out of you. My dreams are filled with energy, which is probably why I move around a lot in bed when I sleep. Some women I have been with say I spin this way or that on a regular basis. I may not show a lot of piss and vinegar when I am awake. In sleep, I am a house on fire...... So, the dream the other night unfolded like this. I was walking in the past. It was my parents house, the house I grew up in. In the backyard there were several animals slowly walking--- in a fog---- towards that haunting voice. That voice was saying one word: ''Mommy''. Watching the scene from behind the screen door I noticed that the slow motion of the animals were being drawn towards the voice [ remember, it sounded like a church choir] and, the animals were being driven upwards towards the sky. Suddenly, my sister's dog appeared in my arms. This dog is one of those snowball type of small dogs. I knew that I needed to protect this small dog because the other animals suddenly became predatory. I had the sense that the dog would be torn apart by the other animals had I released it. I was the protector. While all of this was happening, the choir and the multiple voices were singing, in that Heavenly voice, ''Mommy'', over and over again. It was a comforting sound. I felt warm and in touch with whatever the next stage of life is. In my dream I found myself starting to go towards that voice. Then, I woke up...... The obvious explanation of the dream comes immediately. I was, subconsciously, calling for the love and comfort of my Mom's embrace to save me from the wild and dangerous world. The animals represented the dangers of the world. And, me, longing for the safety of a Mother's arms. No other place in your life offers the safety and comfort and love than a Mother's arms. So, I get that part of the dream, that a part of me [ and, all of us] will always long for that embrace. Combined with the fact that she has been gone many years, brings the Heaven connection in. I understand the spine of the dream. But, I look deeper into dreams..... The human mind is a vast warehouse of memories and thoughts. It is said by scientists that we only use a small portion of our brains in life. If true, then the untapped part of our brains must be wired into some force not of our conscious. Perhaps, that is the genesis of dreams.... I am no expert, to be sure. My thoughts are purely speculative. However, I have always put a lot of stock in what we dream about. Dreams do contain our fears and desires that are buried in our mind. Hope and pain run parallel in our day when we are awake, so, naturally, it spills over into our restful slumber. Now, this is where I may be completely wrong, but, I also believe that dreams show us the next life and how we communicate with that life. I have had those moments when people I have loved have come to me and dropped off a touch of their magic. Usually, these are fleeting moments, but, during those moments, a feeling is passed between them and me of happiness and contentment. They smile and say nothing. That smile, though, speaks volumes of the warm and comforting feeling they have governed to me. I am always charmed by the visit and look forward to return visits. They, sadly, do not happen often. I am always there, though, for the reunion...... Dreams also allow the viewer to enter into a world of imagination that we can't practice in our everyday life. I meet the famous in my dreams and hobnob with them with great joy. I have had extraordinary conversations with historical movers and shakers. We are all roaming the same orbit on even terms. No one is superior, no one inferior. So, I gladly give advise to Jesus while I bask in his greatness. Abraham Lincoln thrills me with his oratory, while Bogart shows me the fine art of getting hammered. All of these people are welcome to swirl around with each other and intermingle. And, of course, the hot women in history are always most welcome. Cleopatra with her sexual overdrive. Marilyn Monroe cooing in my ear her version of ''Happy Birthday'' [ JFK gets pissed ]. Megan Fox begging me for a moment of my time to satisfy her every need. Faith Hill getting jealous about my attention being directed at Megan. And, me, the PEACEMAKER, the person who loves bringing people together, showing Megan and Faith the benefits of loving each other while I proudly watch their reconciliation. All are welcome in the kingdom of my dreams..... I also have the dark dreams. I have had the dreams of being pursued and being caught. For some reason, a wild animal attacking me has always haunted me in my sleep my whole life. Alligators chasing me. A big toothed animal-- a monster, really--- closing in on me and ready to rip me apart. I have also had the murderers following my trail, attempting to do me harm. Like everyone else, I wake up, not so much in a cold sweat, but, with my heart beating faster. I guess I have a lot of internal fear in me. In my sleep, good and bad mix with my soul's fears....... An interesting thing happened to me when I started working at a school several years ago. You know that dream you have of being in high school again, and, reliving the anxiety of your teenage years? Well, that dream went away from me when I started at the school I work at now. Now, I have the opposite dream. About the real world and working in it again. Because I was in sales for many years, those dreams are now about me unable to meet a deadline and feeling the fear of losing my job. But, the school dream is no longer part of my nocturnal imagination..... I have very familiar people, regulars, in my dreams. I call them my ''Dream Friends''. When I wake up I have no idea whom they are, but, under the influence of a deep slumber I find them very familiar. They are always there for me. They might be holdover friends from a previous life who have decided to cross the bridge with me into this life. They are nameless, with no personal history or distinctions to their beings. However, they are there for me, non-judgmental, ready to ride with me on my dream cycle. Like the very real loved ones that I have in my awake life, these ''Dream Friends'' are forever seared to the core of my soul...... A frustrating thing for me when I sleep is my lack of eating food. More specifically, my tast of food. All of you know how I love to glory in the world of gluttony. I am a fierce supporter of eating unhealthy foods that will shorten your life. Granted, its not good that it will kill you before an old age, but, at least, you are going out on your own terms. To me, the ultimate bad dream and nightmare is to be attacked by a big salad. No, I have dreams of my Mom's cooking. This Irish beauty, with the patience and love of an angel [ which, she is in Heaven, along with my Dad, Brother, and, relatives and friends ] was the best damn Italian cook you could hope for. Pizza? You truly have never had great tasting pizza until you had my Mom's. Lasagna? She would have destroyed Italy with the quality of her lasagna. And, occasionally, I dream about her cooking. But, I awake before the taste test. Yes, it is frustrating. I do know when I finally cross over and I am reunited with all of my loved ones Mom will have some food waiting for me. Until then, I just have to dream about her gravy..... Maybe, you experience this in your dreams, but, I am forever youthful. I do not feel the 25 pounds in extra weight that I normally carry, nor, the aches and pains of advancing age. I dream with clarity and vitality. As one dream unfolds into another, I am an enthusiastic viewer of what is coming next. Sometimes, I am brave, sometimes a coward. Sometimes, I am the hero that saves the day, sometimes, I am the victim that is hunted. I dream of the past and revel in going back. At other times, my future is spread out in front of me and I can't wait to experience it. Perhaps, that is where deja vu comes in. It feels familiar because I have already experienced the feeling in my sleep. Scientists explain it is as your central nervous system experiencing something before your conscious has, therefore, when you brain gets the feeling it seems like you have experienced it before. Damn scientists always ruin a dream! But, maybe, my theory holds weight.... It is very easy to overanalyze a dream. It is good, I believe, that we wonder about things in life that have no final answer until we reach death. Then, hopefully, we will have all of the pieces of the puzzle put together. Until then, I am content to have some pieces that do not fit. One piece is the explanation of dreams. No one knows the true answer--- doctors and psychiatrists like to push that they know, but, they don't. My dream of hearing the word ''Mommy'' over and over again while I was trying to defend a defenseless dog was most likely my desire to revert back to a more innocent time. It does not mean that I am afraid or will be retreating from the real world. Quite the contrary, I embrace the challenges of life [ as long as they are manageable challenges ]. But, to dream a dream about a dearly missed loved one also fills me with joy mixed with the sadness of longing. The all-encompassing love that a child has for his mother is still there, ready to be tapped into...... May I never lose it......

Woody And Mia And Soon-Yi

I am usually able to separate the person from their work. Some people, I do not have much respect for as a person, but, their work thrills me. The opposite, sometimes apply, where the person seems wonderful, but, the work is God awful. Every once in a while the two will come together. In show business there are clearly lines drawn down the middle. Woody Allen is a prime example..... I admire much of Woody Allen's work. I like his films from the early slapstick comedies to his human relationship stories. He fails occasionally, as all artists do, but, he has a strong batting average in terms of the quality of his work. Woody Allen, filmmaker, I am a big fan of. Woody Allen, private citizen, I have tremendous contempt for.......Woody Allen and Mia Farrow started their romance together in 1980. She has starred in many of his movies, some of his finest films. They never married and kept separate homes. In the course of their relationship they adopted two children, Dylan Farrow [ now known as Malone ] and Moshe Farrow [ now known as Moses ]. The couple also conceived one child together, a son Satchell Farrow [ now known as Ronan Seamus Farrow ]. Mia Farrow also has several other children. Some adopted, some biological. One of these adopted children is a young girl named Soon-Yi-Previn [ the last name comes from Mia Farrow's second husband, Andre Previn ]. Got all that? Get your scorecards out because it gets more complicated....... From 1980 to the ending of their relationship in 1992, Woody and Mia had a seemingly good and solid romance. It certainly was a non-traditional family unit, but, this is show business and the normal rules at play that we all follow in life escapes their daily lives. It might have been flaky--- because Woody and Mia, for all of their gifts as performers, are flaky people---- but, all seemed quiet of the western front. Then, they separated suddenly in 1992. The reason? Mia discovered, by accident, nude pictures of her  daughter, Soon-Yi-, taken by Woody. Soon-Yi was twenty at the time that the pictures were taken, so, she was of age. Mia confronted Woody about the pictures, and, he admitted to taking them. He also admitted to having an affair with the twenty year old. According to him, the affair with Soon-Yi had been going on for some time, but, he did not give specifics....... Now the story goes from shockingly sleazy to public ugly. Woody and Mia began a long public custody battle of their three children [ the two adopted children and their biological child ]. During this court case, Mia Farrow threw in a grenade that exploded in front of the public and blew the case sideways. She claimed that Woody Allen had sexually molested their adopted daughter, Dylan, who was seven years old at the time....... The public airing of the dirty laundry of these two famous people became juicy fodder for the media and the always ready to here juicy gossip public. Frank Sinatra, Mia Farrow's first husband and someone who she has always had a warm, distant friendship with, offered to have Woody Allen's legs broken for her. He also reportedly called Woody personally and said he didn't know what was going on there, but, ''I have my eye on you.'' Comedians and the general public went to town with jokes about the case and Woody Allen himself. The notorious shy and elusive Woody Allen, the professional schlep on-screen when it came to women, was, off-screen, it was charged,  a child molesting scoundrel, who was also having sex with his stepdaughter. At first, Woody played possum with the media, refusing all interview requests. Finally, as his reputation got more and more tarnished, he reluctantly gave a press conference--- where he just read a statement, but, answered no questions. He admitted his relationship with his stepdaughter, Soon-Yi, but, denied molesting his daughter, Dylan..... The court heard both sides of the case. The judge ordered a team of child psychologists to investigate the matter, which is standard procedure in cases like this. The psychologists would also interview Woody, Mia, and little Dylan. On June 7, 1993, after hearing all parties concerned, and, after having read the report by the team of psychologists, Judge Elliot Wilk gave his decision. In his 33-page decision Wilk denounced Woody Allen for carrying on an affair with Mia Farrow's daughter. By doing this, Wilk said, Woody was pitting family members against each other. He called Woody's behavior ''grossly inappropriate''. Judge Wilk said that it was unlikely that Woody Allen could be prosecuted for sexual abuse based on the evidence presented. While the experts concluded that Dylan was not abused, the judge said he found the evidence inconclusive. Judge Wilk called the report '' sanitized and therefore, less credible'', and added that he had ''reservations about the reliabilty of the report.'' Mia Farrow won custody of their children. Woody Allen was denied visitation rights with Dylan, and, could only see his biological child, Satchel, under supervision..... Woody and his team of lawyers immediately claimed victory on almost every level of the decision. His lawyers maintained that the charges were made up by Mia in revenge because of the affair with Soon-Yi. A scorned lover who went to any lengths possible to get back at her former suitor. Maybe. Lets hope that is true, not so much for Woody Allen, but, for the sake of the child, Dylan...... Woody Allen gave some interviews following the case. In one talk, he said, ''The heart wants what it wants.There is no logic to those things. You meet someone and you fall in love and that's that.'' Ok. That is true in many cases. But, when you start any affair it is because you find the person attractive and want them. Love and  companionship for the other person comes later. Hopefully, it will be long-lasting and fulfill all of your desires, not just the sexual one. Woody Allen did not fall in love with Soon-Yi at first. He wanted her sexually. The heart was not in play here, only his genitals. Perhaps, love soon flowered for the two of them after a period of time, but, it was only sexual passion at the beginning of their time together. And, part of the passion had to be the naughtiness of what they were doing. Now, they broke no laws and they were both consenting adults. However, Woody Allen's heart was a cold, calculating heart. A selfish heart. A users heart. His heart did not care what the fall-out would be from this sleazy coupling with his girlfriend's stepdaughter. No, he wanted cheap sex...... In time, Woody Allen and Mia Farrow went on with their lives. There is still an iciness between them. Woody Allen wanted to have some contact with his children that he had with Mia, but, as the kids grew up, they wanted nothing to do with him. The son they conceived together, Ronan Farrow, hates him. On Father's Day 2012, Ronan tweeted, ''Happy Father's Day---- or as they call it in my family, Happy Brother-In-Law's-Day.''....... Woody Allen and Soon-Yi eventually married and adopted two daughters. As of this writing they are still together....... Ever since this case I have always had an uncomforatble feeling about Woody Allen. His films still show what a prolific and intelligent filmmaker he is . Watching his films is like being around wonderful sounding adults who mirror what we all live through everyday. There are laughs, but, these laughs are earned by recognition of life's foibles and the understanding that we all have. It may be called ''film therapy'', for we are exploring all ourselves through his characters. But, Woody Allen will always have my scorn for his private life. He was a scumbag for the ways he manipulated all those around him--- especially, a impressionable teenager--- for his own self- fulfillment. Many people I know will never watch his movies again because of what he did. I understand that feeling completely and agree with them. However, the movie fan in me, the person who respects the creation of art and the celebration of film, tries to look the other way. It is a tall order, I know. In a way, I am a hypocrite because I am repulsed by his behavior, and, yet, support his product. I am open to any criticism leveled at me for this. I can't defend Woody Allen, but, I can defend his films. Until it is proven that he did molest his daughter---- and, I will never see anything by him again--- I have to do the separation of the artist and the person.......

Bar Rules

There are many area in life I am no expert in. Example being this computer I am typing on. What goes into it, or, how it works, with all of its parts and wires, easily stumps me. After I push the submit button, my words fly out overhead, merge with technology, and, are delivered to you, dear and gentle reader. I am also no rocket scientist. You would very foolish to enlist me to do any math figures. If you needed surgery to save your life and I was your only hope to operate, then you would soon be headed to the nearest mortuary. Many things are beyond my scope of knowledge and ability. Now, some things I do know a lot about. And, one area I reign supreme in is my vast knowledge of bars..... I write this as a 47 year old man. Which means I have been going to gin mills---- legally--- for a good 25+ years. And, what a ride it has been!!!! Memories mounted on top of memories. Fun talk and serious discussions. I have bellied up to a bar more than some people, and, less than others. However, I do feel a certain expertise from years of looking at the world from the sweet comfort of a nice, dark bar. Therefore, I am feeling very expansive now and want to pass along some hard-earned wisdom to the younger crowd that are hitting the liquid haunts. These rules follow in no particular order: feel free to shuffle them around....... 1. If you are going to a bar bring money. This achievement sounds rather obvious, but, for some people they are professional mooches. They arrive with the announcement that they have only a few sheckles ringing in their pockets. Now, we drinkers have been in situations where you might be running short of money until payday. If you are drinking with friends [ always the best people to drink with ] you point this out to them. If they are a real friend they will twist your arm to go with them. They understand, and, will say something like, '' No problem. I will spot you tonight and you get the next time out.'' Guys don't keep track anyway [ women, sadly, do ]. Now, that is different then when someone you barely know---- a friend of a friend--- shows up, stays for a few rounds, eats the free food that the bar puts out, and, then makes a hasty exit when it is his turn to buy...... 2. Never let a female pick up a check. You hear me, young guys? Men do not let women pay!!!! I know it can be expensive, men, but, come on, be a man!!! Women are to be taken care of. And, lets face it, when the tab comes, they cost very little. You are the one who ran up the bill with endless rounds and shots. It is nice when a woman offers to buy. Let them have their moment, smile, and, gently take the check. It is the gentlemenly thing to do. Pamper and adore the fairer sex. They like it and it makes them feel good. And, as a thank you, maybe you will get a blowjob in the bar parking lot..... 3. No blowjobs in the bar parking lot. It is seedy and uncomfortable. Go somewhere more classy, like the drive thru at White Castle..... 4. If you are one of those healthy people who take care of their bodies, then not only do I hate you, but, going to a bar should not be an option. The whole concept of a bar is to beat up your body with unhealthy toxins. Yes, I understand that you want to be social with your friends--- and, you do serve a purpose in being the sober driver---- but, do not take up a prime seat at the bar and order diet coke. That seat is a valued resting place for the drinker who wants to get hammered. The bar does not want you there, regardless of what the bartender says, so you can eat the free buffet and leave a dollar tip. If you have to sit there, at least, buy a drink. Either pour it down the toilet, or, better yet, give it to me to drink. It shows the bar that you are supporting their capitalistic enterprise, and, I get a free beverage..... 5. If you are a jagoff then don't enter a bar. Or, even drink for that matter. We have all had this problem. The guy who has anger issues and has to let the bar know that he is the toughest person in the place. This is the biggest, most annoying problem in bar history. As we know, alcohol relieves a bad day and, hopefully, lifts your spirits. But, there is also the dark side. Alcohol, in some people, brings out the anger and bitterness that resides in some souls. It floats to the surface and then you have a problem for all present. Before you can say, ''Hey, Bartender'', the worm has turned and you are stuck with the obnoxious guy you cannot shake. He makes obnoxious sober guys, like myself, look bad. These people know that they turn into a madman with a drop of the grape in their systems, yet they still insit on bothering the rest of us, usually resulting in some verbal or physical confrontation. So, Mr. Bitter Guy, who hates all women and people who aren't miserable like himself, stay home and wallow in your pity privately. The rest of us do not need to hear it....... 6. Eat. Yes, you have been given a great gift walking into a bar. And, food is part of the fun. There is no pressure to eat healthy and have a drab salad. Go greasy and fat- filled to the core. Cheeseballs hold a special place in my heart [ they are also holding a special spot in the arteries around my heart ]. Cheese goes well with anything. When you fry it or grill it, well, you will know what real liberty is. Mozzarella sticks, onion rings, fries, pizza, etc, must be consumed at some point. Having a little nosh with alcohol is as American as baseball, apple pie, and rehab. Food also soaks up the alcohol, which can save you a little suffering from the hangover the next day.... 7. If you drink to brag about what a great partier you are, then you should not drink at all. Drinking is a social event, not a sporting event. It has been my sad experience that many young guys [ always in their 20's ] walk around and tell uncaring people about how much they can throw back and how they can drink you under the table. Ok, fine. Do that. No one cares. No one cares how fast you can jug a beer, or how many shots go down your gullet. No one care that you have been drinking since 10am today and are not drunk yet. No one cares about how much booze you smuggled into the Bears game. If you are drinking for these reasons other than the proper reason, then don't show up at the bar. No bar wants you. Chances are that you are a sloppy drunk, anyway. Stay home for everyone's sake. Or, better yet, go over to the angry guy's house...... 8. Any shot with a dirty, sexual name is not a good shot. I know some people [ women] find it funny to drink sexual sounding names, but, do yourself a favor and drink a real straight shot. With the fruity sounding names, chances are that you are not getting your monies worth of real alcohol..... 9. Always go to a bar with a good jukebox. The worst type of bar is a club with pulsating music that makes your ears bleed. These places, I admit, are good for bar pickups, but, beyond that, stick with the smaller bars. With these types of places you can control the jukebox and make friends easier. Of course, play whatever you want to hear. There are certain types of music that must be represented. Motown. Classic Rock. Sinatra. Electric blues [ not slow, depressing blues where the singer lost his wife when she ran off with his best friend and took the dog ]. Funk. Certain decades. Play music everyone knows so there can be sing-alongs. Have a party and dance. And, don't be timid about throwing in a wild-card song to introduce to people. It might become the bar song. Then, if you are still at the pub very late at night, when there are the staples---- those lonely, sad-sack people who are mourning some lost love---play the songs that tug at your heart and moist your eyes. Let the song play along with your private thoughts and broken dreams. Frank Sinatra will lead you into this world with his voice. No other person in the history of music is the voice of personal loss like Frank. Saloon songs cry out for him. Frank was a man who barnstormed through life leaving broken hearts and having his heart broken many a time. To hear Frank sing for his loss, strangely, soothes your soul. Bar songs are about mood and feelings. Whether you are rocking a song, or, crying in your beer, music is your best friend in a bar....... 10. Above all: Have Fun. It is simple advice, but, the most crucial. You go to a bar to have a good time. Whether you are with a group of people or are flying solo, the bar is there to make what you can with it. Enjoy the environment. Mix with the people or be comforted with your own musings. Use it as social therapy........ So, these are my thoughs about one of my favorite hobbies. It goes without saying that if you have a drinking problem, then you should ignore what I have just written and go seek help for yourself. For the rest of us, bars remain a cherished place to find a good time...... Now that I am done writing this I am gonna go find a good time!!!!........ Cheers!!!!!!