My Sister Lisa

We were sitting on the couch as the sad people slowly filed by. You know, that terrible last walk by the casket before you say goodbye to a loved one. It is the final procession for the morners before the casket is closed. My sister and I sat there for our Mom. The line was long with much crying, both Lisa and myself, and the people who had loved our mother. As we shared our tears for the woman who gave both of us life, Lisa turned to me, and, with much love, said, ''Its just you and me, now''.... My sister Lisa was born on October 1, 1956. She was the first child for my parents after trying to conceive for a few frustrating years. There was some concern that my Mom could not have children. So, when little Lisa brightened the world on this great day, a little miracle arrived in my family. Pictures and family video from that time show a beautiful little girl with a twinkle in her eyes and a zest for life. She has never grown out of that look. Now, if you were ever to view our family video [ of which, my brother is in some, and, I, in a blink of an eye ] my sister sure exhibited the flair for the camera. Cut the bullshit: she was a show-off!! She seemed to be the center of any event, always smiling and dancing. Lisa was always close to my Mom's side of the family and there were sure tons of kids to play with on that side. The video shows them all clowning and romping around for any willing audience. There is no sound, but, had there have been, you would have heard the sound of laughter and love. That has always been front and center in my family. We always had a good time with each other. And, in the company of my sister, the fun times were multiplied by her energy and sweet goodness. It is still the same with her today..... A girl on the Scoleri side of the family is very rare. We are all males. I know my sister has always wished for a baby sister to confide in, but, she was saddled with two brothers. And, the word ''saddled'' is written with a smile on my face. Lisa has never minded sharing the family spotlight with her brothers. My brother, Tommy, arrived in 1962, and, Lisa, at the tender age of six, took to him immediately. She helped bathe him and changed his diaper and rocked him. I am no expert on children. I know from first-hand experience with my brother that the realtionship between one child and another can be tricky. Lisa escaped this label. Maybe, she was practicing for her future role as a mother. But, she had endless patience with us boys and became a welcome buffer between me and my brother when we two argued. Lisa always stood up for me and was not afraid to fight my battles. It had to hurt her deeply that her brothers could never get along, but, she never played favorites. Lisa developed the family gene of always fighting and rooting for the underdog...... She loved ''The Mickey Mouse Club'' as a little girl. My parents would always tell me how she would always sing the closing song to the show every day. You may know it. Spelling out the words to Mickey Mouse. '' M-I-C-K-E-Y-M-O-U-S-E''. [ I hear you singing them softly to yourself ] Lisa would sit in front of the TV everyday singing her little heart out to her mouse friend. In a sweet, little girl's voice sent from Heaven. It must be said that Lisa has the only good singing voice in the family. I like to think that somehow, Mickey and The Mouseketeers heard her...... As a teenager, Lisa became a little rebellious. Not a problem--- she never has been---, but, she smoked a little and ditched class some. Actually, it was only gym class when she had to do bowling. Yeah, bowling. Somehow, this sport brought forth a problem. My parents were informed and she was punished. She was the first-born and received all the attention of a first-born, but, she also took the brunt of family punishment. One of the benefits of being born third is that your parents have been trained by your older siblings. Lisa took the hits for me and had to deal with curfew and getting a job and cleaning the house. Oh, I hear about it often, and, I tease her about it. I'm sure Lisa looks at this period as a learning experience. She has always been smart, a lot smarter than she realizes..... Her teeneage and early adult years remain a bit cloudy to me. She graduated from the famous Forest View High School and went to Community College. I really do not know what she wanted to do in life beyond always wanting to be a mother. Whatever career path she could have chosen would have been successful for her. She is smart and industrious. Motherhood, however, always called from her heart. She thought her first love might be the future father of her children. His name was Joe. From what Lisa told me, Joe was the man for her. First love is like that. All consuming and emotional. I was little back then, so, I do not really remember this relationship, but, I know she fell hard for him. And, he was in love with her. He also had the untamed lust of a young man. His attentions and feelings for Lisa, however strong, also found other women. In time, Lisa, as much as it hurt her soul, realized that they must part for life. It was something Lisa never got over. Love found her again, but, never like the love she felt for Joe..... Lisa married in 1980, after being courted and loved by a great guy named John. They were together for a few years before they became husband and wife. John became like a brother to me and fit easily into our family. In 1984, they blessed our family with their first born son, Johnny. A little golden-haired angel from above. Lisa, as a Mom, was as successful as anything she has ever attempted. More so. She gave our own Mom a run for the Best Mom In The World. Lisa fretted over Johnny and worried about his every move. She handled out the discipline when necessary, but, that was not very often because Johnny was a model child. Lisa has always loved children, as most women do, but--- and, this is not always universal with women--- she loved all children. She is as warm and gentle with a strangers child as she is with her own. The innate goodness that flows through her system sparkles mostly with kids. And, in 1989, she and John blessed the family again with the arrival of son number two, Joey. This boy is all Scoleri, while Johnny was a lot like his father. Joey was a moody child. Christ, he was a miserable son of a bitch!! Joey did not like to be held by anyone except Lisa. Joey sensed, at that precious age, how wonderful his Mom's embrace was..... Events unfolded as the years sped by. The horror of the 90's, when sickness and tragedy and death overtook our family. Lisa did handle it well, but, she took our family vanishing before our very eyes as hard as I did. I was on the front lines because she had her own little family to take care of. Lisa always came through when my parents and myself needed her. A simple phone call always brought her running. Plus, she had an added burden to deal with, unbeknownst to me and everyone else: she was dealing with a long-term marriage that was slowly ending..... This shocked what remained of my family. I know it did me. Lisa told me about her marriage ending in 2004. By that time our parents and brother were gone. Ironically, around this time, I also was ending a long-term relationship. There we were, two victims of love, sitting in her living room, crying on each other's shoulders. Lisa had more heartbreak than me because we were talking about her marriage that had ended after almost twenty-five years to someone who was [ and, still is ] a good man. The reasons for the split will reamin private here. There was pain, though. Love brings happiness when it spread its wings, but, we also know that it brings crushing sadness when it ends. From my perspective, things were amicable between her and my now former brother-in-law. Lisa got custody of the kids, who were almost men now. Johnny was twenty and Joey was fifteen. I was sad to see Big John depart the family, even though I knew it was the best for both of them. Lisa was my concern. She had never really been out on her own. Financially, John was very kind to her in the settlement. My worry, though, was when Lisa would decide to start dating. I did not want the wolves out there to prey on her. Lisa has never been the go to a bar and pick up a guy type. I just worried for my sister because I loved her and did not want her hurt. Who would be the next guy in her life became an open question.... Then, like a fairy-tale come to life, the answer came in the form of her first love, Joe. It shows you how one door closes and another one opens. Lisa was divorced for a few months when she went alone to a wedding. At this wedding, she came across someone who knew her lost love. They talked and it turns out that Joe was a free man who had never gotten over my sister. He realized what he had blown and he deeply regretted his loss of her. Lisa became intrigued. Could you go back and try again? She got Joe's number from this person and cautiously debated whether to call him where he was living in Wisconsin. Eventually, she did. Joe was thrilled to hear from her and the past came back for both of them. Whatever worry she may have felt in contacting him melted away as she felt the old stirring of true love again for him. Long story short: from that day forward, they are together  and in love. The old adage that you can't go home again proved, in this case, to be wrong. You can and she did!!!..... This is where she is right now in life. Various people have asked me when I would write a blog about my sister. I hesitated until now because Lisa is so normal. There is no juicy gossip about her. No drama or tempermental behavior. No arrests or violent, selfish episodes. She is no saint, but, she is darn close!!!!..... She is a Grandmother now. Three times. She adores this role in life and, believe me, her Grandchildren sure adore her. And, why not. She has the man of her dreams by her side, with loving and wonderful children and Grandchildren. Many friends and admirers. And, a brother who loves and looks up to her. We have always had a great relationship with each other, partly, because we do not interfere with each other's lives. I am sure she is occasionally wondering which woman I am dating and if I still howl at the moon in the wee hours.  I still am a little protective of her because, as she said at our Mom's funeral: it is just us now..... So, there, my big sister. This is your blog. It is a little taste for people to know a little about you. There is so much more to you than what I have written. My space is limited here. But, my love for you will never be.......