The Day The Music Died: December 8th, 1980

John Lennon never refused an autograph request. Going back as far as he could remember there was always someone waiting there in his life for his signature on a piece of paper. So, when the fat fan in the Hawaiian shirt approached him silently, he knew to sign. The fan held out Lennon's latest album ''Double Fantasy'' out for the star to sign. Lennon bent over to write. At that moment, an amatuer photographer, Paul Goresh,  who hung around the building where Lennon and Yoko Ono lived, The Dakota, zoomed in with his camera to catch the shot of Lennon with the fan. He got it. John asked the fan if that was all that he wanted. The fan, stricken silent by the great star, said nothing and backed away. John and Yoko then got into their waiting limo to take them to the recording studio. The fan asked Goresh if he had the picture of him and Lennon, and Goresh said he was sure he did. Almost six hours later, the fan became a killer... After five years of self- imposed retirement, John Lennon, in the fall of 1980, had his batteries recharged for the public. He turned the milestone age of 40 in October, and, he and his wife, Yoko Ono, had released their comeback album, ''Double Fantasy'' in November, to brisk sales and tremendous public interest. By December, the Lennons were planning the follow up to the album and a possible world tour. John, after so many years of searching and self improvement to ease his childhood pain, seemed , finally, to be content and happy in his role of father and husband. By December the 8th, the dark clouds and demons were gone. Ahead, lay a new beginning... In the limo on the way to the recording studio, John chatted with a San Francisco DJ named Dave Sholin. Sholin was sharing the limo with the Lennons after doing a radio interview with them that afternoon. Sholin asked some follow up questions of John about Paul McCartney. John said that he loved Paul like a brother and would do anything for him. Sholin feelings about John that day are of a man deeply in love with life and full of energy. When the limo dropped John and Yoko off at the studio, Sholin and his crew went straight to the airport with the interview tapes. It was John's last interview... At the studio, John and Yoko said hello to their producer, Jack Douglas. All three, for the last two weeks , had been working on a song of Yoko's called , ''Walking On Thin Ice.'' The hope was to have the song out for Christmas of 1980. When David Geffen, the head of their record label, arrived, the button was pushed and Yoko's song came blasting out. By common consenses, it was the best thing she had ever recorded [ which isn't saying much]. Smiles went around the room as all agreed that this should be rushed out for the holidays. After Geffen left, John and Jack Douglas talked quietly. What they talked about is something that Douglas has always kept mum about, but, he has hinted in interviews that John was talking about death. Douglas says that John always was very candid about living a short life. Perhaps, John felt his life ending soon and was resigned to the inevitable. Whatever his feelings that night, John soon snapped out of his morbid talk and said he and Yoko were leaving to get something to eat and invited the producer to join them. Jack Douglas declined, but, he would see them bright and early the next morning. He reports John and Yoko got in the elevator, waved and smiled at him, and, wished him a good night. The elevator closed. Jack Douglas never saw John the next day... The limo pulled in front of the Dakota at 10:45 PM. John had decided to stop home first to see their son, Sean, before going out to eat. Yoko got out of the car first, followed by John. He was carrying the cassette of her song in his hand. Waiting, just off the archway to the building, was the fat fan from Hawaii. Yoko walked by him and then John. The killer said later that Lennon gave him a hard look, as if maybe, John recognized him from earlier. We will never know because that is when the first shot was fired.... It all happened very fast. Five bullets shot. Lennon staggering up the steps, somehow, he managed to keep going before collapsing on the ground. Yoko screaming. The security guard pressing the button to the police station. The killer calmly picking up his book to read after the shooting.... The police arrived a few minutes later. The first car there grabbed the killer and handcuffed him. A second car pulled up soon after. The policemen, James Moran and Bill Gamble, approached the victim. They saw a small Oriental woman weeping over a fallen man. Blood was pouring out of his mouth and chest. At first, the cops didn't recognize the victim, but, they knew he was dying. They put John in the back of their squad car and Yoko soon followed in a backup car. Racing through the streets of New York to Roosevelt Hospital, they were in a race with time. Moran looked back at John and asked him if he knew who he was. John moaned yes. It was his last word.... The emergency room at Roosevelt knew John Lennon was a goner. But, they worked on him with all of their skills. He had lost too much blood. Finally, they gave up. These battle scarred veterans of the emergency room-- who had seen every horror in their job--- started crying. They knew who was lying there... Word leaked out to the world. Howard Cosell announced it on ''Monday Night Football''. Soon, crowds gathered outside the hospital and the Dakota. People were crying for John Lennon, but, also, for themselves. With his passing, a chapter of a whole generation had closed. Their youth was now gone. Certain people in history, like JFK, die, and suddenly, we all feel older and our own mortality feels closer to us. John Lennon was a star, to be sure, but, for millions of people, he was also one of us. We had lost a bright light... I had just turned 15 years old on December 8, 1980. I wasn't quite the Beatle fan I am now, but, something, even then, seemed very sad to me. In time, I grew to love the Fab Four and their fearless leade. I still  mourn the loss of this imperfect but very human rebel/musician/peacenik/househusband. God, it is 31 years ago, but, in many ways, it feels like yesterday.... And, I will always believe in yesterday....