Room 404

My nephew Joey works at a hotel by me that is supposed to have a haunted room. When he told me about this around a year ago I had to check it out as soon as I could. It took a year to get the room because the hotel itself was under construction. I don't know if the ghosts had a wild party and did some damage, but, I had the chance over the weekend to finally experience this room. Here is my report.... Room 404 opened to me around five p.m. It was a fairly nice room with double beds that would come in handy if I wanted to have an orgy. Since I was alone, the beds became impractical. One bed was only needed [ although I was expecting a female friend to show later, but, that was canceled at the last minute]. After putting my things away, the first ghost appeared. Sitting in a chair, completely nude was George Washington. You can imagine my surprise! Ole George, based on what I saw, aptly deserves the title ''Father Of Our Country''. Lets just say his teeth weren't the only wooden thing he was sporting. I made small talk with Georgie, asked about the cherry tree story [ he said it was true, but, he did it to get into a girls pants], and, asked about his wife Martha. George said Martha is a big slut in Heaven, banging every President in sight. He gave me a graphic description about her doing FDR in the wheelchair... George soon left. I put my body like a temple on a bed and was soon joined by Liz Taylor. Liz was dressed head to toe in chocolate syrup. It, being the afterlife, she states that she doesn't have to watch her weight anymore. A valid  and sage observation, Liz!!! I asked about her dating. She said that in the six months she has been dead, she has married and divorced every man who has ever lived three times. The woman can't keep a husband!!.. After Liz emptied my fridge, she left and Marilyn Monroe stopped in to sing ''Happy Birthday'' to me. I said ,'' Marilyn, my birthday is 89 shopping days away.'' Marilyn said she knew that, but, that she just had to get away from ''Those damn Kennedy boys!''. Alas, Jack and Bobby Kennedy did sniff her out and she left quite hurriedly. Before they left they asked me if anybody here seen their old friend Martin. And, could I tell them where he has gone? I said I had not seen Dr. King. Jack said that is too bad, it seems the good they die young. I turned around to answer them and they were gone... Rock Hudson made an unscheduled appearance around 8ish. He was with his new boyfriend, John Wayne. In another example on how Heaven brings out the ''real'' person, John was decked out handsomely in a skin tight black evening gown with a belt that said, ''Boy Toy''. Sitting with the newlyweds, I asked them how such a thing had happened. They replied that the motto in Heaven is '' What happens in Heaven, stays in Heaven.'' They seemed happy. They mentioned they were looking for a nice loft in the North side of Heaven by Christ Field. We toasted their new afterlife, I rejected their offer of dressing up in chaps for a threesome, and, they went gaily on their way!!.... By nine, my head was spinning. So many famous ghosts had come by for just a short time: John Belushi came by with an gram, John Lennon and George Harrison came by to sing, Bin Laden came up from Hell for some new towels, Chris Farley brought a gram-- even in death he still rips off Belushi-- Mother Teresa scrubbed my back, Gandhi offered to kick my ass, Christopher Reeve challenged me to a footrace, etc... By midnight, I was winding down. All the famous ghosts tuckered me out. I crawled into bed... One final spirit did visit: God.... God began to ask me how I was . I said I was relatively happy. He said why ''relatively''. I said I think I have done well up to now. I have lived my life based on what I thought HE would want me to do and be. I am not perfect, but, I told God I give it my best shot everyday. I said I feel there is still '' something I must do, but, I don't know what it is!!''' ... God paused. He said that is the common problem with humanity. We are always looking forward to some great achievement, usually involving money, and, not living life in the now. I said the world seems to be not set up to live in the now. Worries about safety, family, friends, occupy the thought process in the now. There was another pause. Then God said, '' I have given all of you my teachings and guidance. Some of you have abused them, some have flourished. I listen to the prayers. I hear the suffering, I do love all of you. When you cross over you will understand it all. Until then, please, tell the people you know this message, 'Love one another. Have fun. Live everyday to the fullest and enjoy each other. There will be bad in the world, but, don't embrace it. I love you, and, Love is the answer' ''. ... At that point John Lennon said, ''Hey, that's my line!''... God left. I wish He had stayed a little longer. But, I got the message. I have always gotten the Message. It seems simple, but, we do seem to forget it in our rush to live life. ... Love your family. Love your friends. Don't hurt anyone. Have pride in yourself that you are a good person.... Of course, none of this happened in that room, in fact, there was nothing unusual that happened in that room. But, had there been some contact from the other side I liked to think it would have been somewhat humorous, and, somewhat profound... Just like life... Peace...