I Saw Him Standing There

I have always been a Beatles fan. Ever since I can remember, their music and personalities have filled my life with joy.... Now, I am a second generation fan. I wasn't alive to see them on that famous night in February 1964 on the Ed Sullivan Show. But, I have read enough about them to know what an impact that appearance made. The country was still reeling from JFK's assassination a few months earlier. The months preceding had been filled with grim mourning. America, and the world, needed to hear something joyful and beautiful. America needed a tonic. Little would anyone have thought that it would be four young men from Liverpool, England... You know about them and their impact, I don't need to tell you the story. We all have our Beatle moments. So, since I never saw them live as a group, the mission for me was to see them solo. A madman stopped John before he began touring again-- before his death in 1980, John was sketching out a worldwide tour--- and, George lost his battle with life's bitter enemy, cancer. That left Ringo and Paul. Ringo I did see at the late, and still sorely missed venue called Poplar Creek. This was in 1992. Ringo was smart. He knows he isn't the musical force the others were. So, he filled his band with All Star musicians like Joe Walsh, Todd Rundgren, Dr John. It was a most enjoyable show... That left Paul to see. My time came to see him in October 2005. I took my sister Lisa to see him with me, being a huge Beatle fan herself [ and, like a lot of girls, her first crush was Paul]. Paul charged me an arm and a leg to see him-- close to 400 bucks for two tickets. I didn't flinch, though. We were seeing history and we were going to be in the same room as Paul Fuckin McCartney!!!!.. He played the United Center. I saw him the second night of a two night stand. A woman I work with, Debbie, had seen the first show. When I saw her at work, I said '' Don't tell me anything about the show, I just wanna know that I am going to be blown away.'' Debbie smiled and said, ''You will never forget it.''.. Lisa and I got to the UC early. We were like teenagers. Our seats were upper deck, but, looking straight at the stage. Soon, the lights went down and a short film started. It was Paul narrating his life over pictures. He talked about his childhood, musical awakenings, meeting the other three Beatles, Linda, etc. The biggest hand came when the John and George pictures were shown. Then the film faded to black and  we all heard the music begin... The curtain parted as Paul kicked into ''Magical Mystery Tour''. There was a collective gasp of joy from the audience. THERE HE IS!!!! From the first few notes he played he had us. His voice was strong. The band was killer. And, for the next couple of hours, Paul took us into a special world... Music is like that. Something awakens in your brain and body that is so pure and rewarding. We all feel it. Now , when you have a body of work like he does, it takes you even higher into nirvana.... The set list included all the favorites: Beatles and Wings tunes. What was most extraordinary was the audience reaction to them. I been to many concerts and seen all different responses, but, this was different. People smiled. People cried. People danced. People remembered. People created new memories. There was an emotion that was universal. We knew every song and sang with every lyric. Mostly, though, the feeling was of gratitude for this man-- and, his three friends-- for being in our lives all these years. Many people are famous, this man is History. I told Lisa that we will never be in the same room again with someone so historical.... Another strength that Paul has that many other musicians don't have is his charm. He was truly funny and engaging. He sometimes told us stories about the songs. The most poignant ones were the songs for three people who meant so much to him and are gone: Linda, John, and George. He played a song for each of them, and, through those songs he must have been  telling them he loved and missed them... In terms of which songs went over the best, my vote would be ''Band On The Run'' and ''Hey, Jude''. Once again, Paul conducted us into singing along with him. These two songs, maybe, because they are so easy to sing to, nearly brought the ceiling down. We were like a rock choir voicing our joy... We called him back for a few encores. Of course, that is standard in any concert, but, we needed to see him for just a little bit longer. In a gentle way, he belongs to us. Or, as his old pal John sang, ''I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together''. He played. We listened... and, then he was gone.... This weekend he is playing Wrigley Field. For a couple of days I tried to get tickets. I could have paid a lot again to see him, but, I didn't. My good friend Jeanine is going to see him with her son Brandon--- in a sweet example of love for his mother, she is his ''date''. I told her they will have a great time. And, they will. Paul will create memories for them like he did for Lisa and me. Paul was given that rare gift of making music. He has shared that gift with all of us that will last forever.... Thank you , Paul.

Rupert and His Ilk

Scandal has always been a part of the public fabric. Go back in history and you will read some of the most disturbing stories about the famous and infamous. So, the collapse of The News Of The World, and, the public thrashing of those involved, is not exactly ''fresh off the press''. But, the timing is interesting.... The story, in a nutshell, is the hacking of phone numbers and emails of both public and private citizens by the British paper ''The News Of The World.'' The reason was simple: to satisfy the public insatiable appetite for juicy news, and, of course, to make major profits for the paper and its owner Rupert Murdoch. Again, this is old news. Scandal sells, not nice stories of someone saving a cat from a tree. So, many people have been taken down with the paper, and, the paper itself is now out of business.... Rupert Murdoch is indeed truly a man taken from a James Bond story. He is the epitome of evil in the media. The late, great columnist Mike Royko once wrote that '' No self respecting fish would be wrapped in a Murdoch paper''. He orders his minions to spin the news to his viewpoint, and, is clearly evident, tells his ''people'' to use any means necessary to get the story. The most disgusting story, so far, is the hacking of a missing teenager's phone numbers. The hacking deleted important information regarding her disappearance and gave her family false hope of her survival. She ended up dead.... Imagine the mindset , though, of the people doing this. Are you so morally bankrupt and without personal feeling that you would mislead a grieving family? Apparently, the answer is a firm ''yes''. Amazing, I know... The timing of these disclosures must be examined. We are talking about a type of journalism that is not new. As horrible as these stories are to us, they are fairly standard practice in that world. England has always been known for their cutthroat reporting. The other papers are just as revolting. Why ''The News Of The World'' being singled out now?... The answer, I believe is because, finally, the wrong toes were stepped on. The powerful, and not the powerless have their tits in the fire. Prime Ministers are stepping forward in outrage. Celebrities too. It is another example on how the peons like you and me can be victims, as long as the powerful fly under the radar. Business as usual... Murdoch will not be hurt in this. He testified that ''The News'' is only one percent of his income. Not too much of a worry. He still is feared and admired in some quarters. His kind are never crippled by scandal. They walk between the raindrops. The splatters hit underneath him. Some people will go to jail, some will walk. Take a guess who has the best chance to walk?...

The Cubs Will Always Be In My Heart

Recently, I started a little brushfire on Facebook about the City Of Chicago's preference for the Cubs over the crosstown rival White Sox. This is based on everything from media coverage to attendance figures to fan loyalty throughout generations. I heard back, long and loud, from Sox fans. The way I phrased it was that the Cubs are like the popular good looking kids, and, the Sox are like the ugly girl at the dance. Many Sox fans thought I was calling them personally ugly. I wasn't. My apologies to anyone who was offended. I was just quoting an old saying. I could have said '' The Sox are the red headed step child compared to the popularity of the Cubs'', but, I'm sure then I would be insulting red headed step children everywhere. Actually, the few comments I got from Sox fans-- and, the more personal emails I got, the last count I'm at twenty--- showed , once again, why it is fun to be a fan of sports in Chicago.... I have always been a Cub fan. That traditional started, as I have written before, with my Mother. She grew up around Wrigley Field and became a genuine fan of the team. This was back before women went to many games, its was a man's domain. She passed that down to my brother and me. We became rabid Cub fans. We had our favorite ballplayers: Ernie Banks, Billy Williams, Ron Santo, Bobby Murcer, etc. I don't know if young kids can today idolize an athlete like back then. Too much sordid details about the athlete's personal life and arrogant behavior seemed to have spoiled that childhood illusion. But, my brother Tom and I had it. Boys played ball back then with their friends and you always pretended to be your favorite ballplayer when you hit and played the field. I used to do perfect imitations of the various Cubs. For a few moments anyway, I was Billy and Ernie and Santo!!!... The highlight of any summer was going to Wrigley Field. We went once, maybe, twice a year as a family. This was pure joy. You didn't sleep well the night before, I was too jacked!!! Dad would take us downtown in the old blue Plymouth. Off the Kennedy, on to Addison, past the WGN studios and Burt Wieman Ford. And, then, from a distance, rose this magnificent shrine, as if from Heaven. 1060 West Addison [ the address of the Blues Brothers in the movie ]. You saw it. It was special. Truly the Field Of Dreams. We would park the car with the nuns at the parking lot for ten bucks. Dad would give us our tickets to hold with the warning to don't lose them. Are you kidding Dad? Hold on to them? The goddamn Gestapo couldn't get them away from me!!.. Once in the ballpark, we would stop and get concessions. And, then , the most dramatic part would happen: walking up the steps. I knew what was at the top of those steps. The first glimpse of that magic field!! I would see the outfield walls, gloriously covered in ivy. Then the field. And, then, I would sweep my eyes around and take the ballpark in completely. Every Cub fan has done the exact same thing as me. It just felt right... Sometimes the Cubs would win when I went to a game, sometimes they would lose. My most memorable game was when my favorite player, Billy Williams, hit a game winning home run. I'm sure Billy doesn't even remember it, but, in this boy's mind, it is a a warm part of my childhood.I went home that day, grabbed some friends, played lob league, and, hit a ball just like Billy!!! That night, I went to bed sleeping with my glove on my pillow... As I have gotten older, teenager and adult, I lost a little of the Cubs magic. That is normal. Life takes over. You have other more important areas of your life to attend to. But, I always kept an eye on how they were doing. As we all know, most of the time, its been bad. The refrain of wait until next year is so worn out by us fans. We continue to hope. Some people have asked me, why follow a team that lets you down every year? That hasn't won a World Series since 1908? That is the biggest losing franchise in sports?. They have a solid point, how do I and millions of others continue down the futile road of being a Cub fan? I can't speak for others, but, I know that reason for me.... It is a connection to my parents, to my brother, and, to that little boy that I was  so long ago. All those people are gone, but, the adult me carries the spirit for them... The little me that saw Billy hit that home run.... They will win someday, I hope I'm alive when it happens. And, when it does... well, the world will stop for a few minutes--- even in the darkest caves of  Pakistan, the Talibon will be saying, ''The fuckin Cubs won!!!''... So, I suppose it was wrong to chastise the Sox fans. They have their own memories and fond feelings. I was generally thrilled when they won in 2005. Now, it is our turn. God knows we have earned it!!... It must go 7 games, into the bottom of the ninth. Bases loaded of Cubs. And, whomever, hits a grand slam!!!!... I want to be in that ballpark when it happens. I would be there representing those who aren't there-- just like everyone else at the game.... And, I hope Billy Williams is sitting next to me!!!

Love Hurts

Recently, I spent a nice evening with an old friend of mine that I hadn't seen for a while. It was very pleasant evening, two old comrades in arms catching up on our lives. Then the discussion turned a little darker. My buddy-- whom I won't mention by name, respecting his privacy--- said that his marriage is all but over. Now, I knew he and his wife were going through difficult times in the past few years, but, hearing it said so bluntly shocked me. My buddy said the only reason he and his wife will stay together is for their young kids. The love has gone out of the marriage. Then my friend made a most interesting statement about relationships--- he felt ''we had all been taken in about what love was suppossed to be. The love we hear in songs, the love you see in movies,the love you read about in books.'' Now, granted, my buddy is a little down on love because of his situation, but, what I found most interesting in his comment was how timely it was for a little experiment I have been doing for the last few months... Whether it be at a party, a bar, work, or an intimate group, I have been asking people, ''How many happy or contented relationships do you personally know exist?''.. The answers I have been getting back are sobering, to say the least. Almost every time I hear a figure of less than 50 percent. These are long term relationships I ask about. Not teenage love affairs or bar liasions. Strictly standard relationships. The reasons for staying together in an unhappy situation are what you would think it is: the children, money problems, and, the fear of being alone. This has always been a sad by product of a love gone bad. The age groups of the people I ask are also telling. The younger friends I have tend to view relationships a little bit looser than the older friends. If a younger person goes out with someone for a week or two, suddenly, that is a ''relationship''. These poor people miss the point that by not letting things happen naturally between the two parties, they are trying too hard and things tend to fall apart much easier. The older friends are a little more resigned to the fact that this is what it will ever be. There will be no golden ending of riding off into the sunset, carefree, like in a movie. The feeling we all get listening to a great love song can never be transfered into real life. That is why we have the books and the movies and the songs to take us away from reality. For a few minutes anyway, anything seems possible in your heart.... Now, I have been through many nice relationships with women, and, a couple of clunkers. I can only speak from my experience, just like all of you speak from yours. As I have gotten older, the more I experience in relationships, the less I know for sure. It seems to me that nothing in life is perfect. If you except that, then things get a little clearer in life. Still, there should not be so many unhappy people out there. What is, in fact wrong? Is my buddy right and we were somehow conned into what it SHOULD BE, and, when it isn't, we give up? Or, aren't we as strong and unselfish as our parents in dealing with each other? Are relationships only short term, with different people at different times in your life?. The answer, I know, is subjective-- everybody has their own tale to tell.... Last week, there was a story about the recession. In the report, it stated that more people are staying together, even though they are miserable with each other, because they can't afford to separate. It sounds like way too many people are going through the motions. Love, as we all know, when it is clicking.. well.. there ain't nothing nicer!!!!... But, when it isn't.....

Justice?

I have a half serious expression I use sometimes. ''The world would run much better if the Mafia was in charge of it!!'' Behind the statement, of course, is the frustration of how the governments of the countries of the world are run. Obviously, the legal system is on the top of my many grievances. And, the Casey Anthony decision is the latest example.... Ask yourself this: Are you really that surprised they found her not guilty? We have seen this absurd drama before-- most famously with O.J. Every once in a while, a clearly guilty person goes free because of twelve people. Chalk that up to top notch attorneys and less than top notch juries. There is outrage from the public that borders on bloodlust. But, what can we do? The system is set up to accept the verdict. However obscene it is, she is allowed to go free... And, this is where my Mafia feeling comes into play. At the beginning of ''The Godfather'', there is the famous scene of the undertaker, Bonasera, talking to Don Corleone about how the law let him down. If you remember, Bonasera's daughter was attacked by two men and beaten. He went to the police '' Like a good American''. The police arrested the boys, there was a trial, and, the boys were set free. That is when the undertaker knew '' For justice, we must go to Don Corleone''. In the book, the boys were beaten to an inch of their lives. That is the justice in the world of crime... And, yet... You are strangely on the side of the undertaker: you want these boys punished. Why? Because the law and the legal system failed. That is the same feeling I had watching the verdict on Casey Anthony. The law let us down, where is Don Corleone to correct it?... Now I must clearify something: I do not have any romantic notions about the Mafia. It is filled with horrible, despicable people who would kill their mothers at the drop of a hat. This world should not be admired. Sadly, some segments of our society do embrace it. This is wrong. Violence and robbery should never be celebrated.... But, there is that nagging and uncomfortable thought: if Don Corleone did exist in the form like in the movie, would that be justice to have him take care of Ms. Anthony?... The answer comes back to bloodlust. Do you want this woman harmed? Is it morally wrong to want her hurt? Do we play God?... I will leave that debate up to others to argue. I am torn with my decision. A part of me accepts that she should go free because the law says so. Let God be her final judge... The other part, the bloodlust part, says '' Let the bitch suffer like her daughter suffered at her own hands!!'' I really don't know, which is why its lucky I'm not in charge of this woman's fate. I suppose I believe that eventually she will get hers, O.J. did. But, how long before that happens?... One other thing about this case that is disquieting: the public, as it does so well, treats this case like a tv show. The news channels give breathless coverage of the event. Mindless people like Kim Kardashian pipe in with their two cents. Let me bring down the world's intelligence for a brief moment and quote the great sage, Ms. Kardashian: ''It is a travesty of our legal system that a guilty person like Casey Anthony can go free!!'' Really, Kim? Wasn't your old man one of O.J. 's lawyers?... Ok, now I take us all back to the land of sanity... I haven't seen it, but, I'm betting that someone, somewhere, is selling shirts with Casey Anthony on it. This is the dark underbelly of humanity-- profiting from tragedy. There will be books. There will be t.v. appearances by the people in the drama. And, if you watch out of curiosity, you will be a player in the drama too. That is also human nature... I don't know what the next major trial will be, of course. I have an inkling, though. There will be death. There will be suffering. There will be outrage. There will be people taking sides. And, the verdict will have something for people to talk about until the next media circus... And, while all of this is happening, there will be flowers blooming by a grave of a little girl named Caylee Anthony.