Can You See The Real Me?

I have gotten many nice compliments regarding my blogs. I, of course, appreciate all of the kind words. It means a lot to me that people leave their busy lives for a few moments to take a trip through my thoughts. But, I have noticed with the nice words comes a most interesting statement: '' You are a different person when you write these blogs, Jim.'' I take it to mean that people are seeing an alternate side to my personality. Now, I have been down this road before many times. Whenever I start dating a woman and we get to know each other, at some point the woman will say ''You are much different than I thought''. I ask them how so, and the reply goes along something like this, ''I thought you were wilder. I thought you were a joke a minute. I thought you went at a much different speed, but, you are quiet, shy, and enjoy taking life at a slow pace.''.. This is very true... Now, tying that into people's perception of me and my blogs, I guess you can connect two thoughts. 1: Never take a person at face value. 2: Never assume to know a person completely just by interacting with them.... The front I put up for most of the public is a carefree, funny guy. I suppose there is some of that in my personality. But, I have always put up this front to protect the real me. And, the real me, as family and close friends know, is a  more sensitive, caring person. You may snicker at that statement, but, then you are projecting ''Public Jim'' not ''Private Jimmy''-- a name people close to me call me. That is fine with me. That is the persona I chose to be in the world. I am not trying to fool people, but, I do smile internally when I am described as carefree and not serious... I am always amazed that there are people in this world who instantly open up about ALL aspects of their lives upon meeting me. You have met them too. Suddenly, you are their best friend, and, you know their entire history without the slightest provocation on your part. How do people open up so quickly?? The answer, of course, comes from the loneliness these people feel. They have no one else. I have great sympathy for these people, that is why I listen to them.... I am lucky. I have those around me that care and see the real me. There is no better support group to have than people who want nothing but the best for you... I wish everybody had that. Sadly, many people don't... The key is to find quality, not quantity in the people who care for you. I know people who have many friends to go out socially with and fuck around with. That is fine. Everybody likes that. However, when it comes to having someone there is times of trouble or emotional upheaval, those ''friends'' disappear... I tend to ramble, I know. I have gone a little astray from the beginning thought of people knowing the real me. I will end with this synopsis: the real me is like you. Fun and depressed. Active and lazy. Smart and naive. A talker and a listener. Selfish and unselfish. In short, very human. I do not believe it is wrong to go with a cover personality for the world. Self preservation is a must. Just let the special people close to your heart in-- you will know them right away.... By the way, I wrote this blog completely naked!!!!

The Unknown Man

It is still an image I can't put out of my mind. The man was looking out of the building for help. The fire was above him. The panic below him. Who knows if he knew he was going to die soon... It was that day we all remember-- our day of infamy-- 9/11. In the next few months , we will  see the stories detailing the event because we are coming upon the 10th anniversary of that day. Everyone has their moments that are seared into your mind. Mine is that man. I suppose it is natural to wonder what it must have been like for the victims. We do that with all tragedies. He seemed young, maybe, in his twenties, starting a career. Beyond that I do not know anything else about him. But, what made him so poignant for me was the sense of waiting for help that never arrived. There were more people like him in those buildings that day, but, he is the one who stood out for me. Because that could have been me... And, it could have been you. He was, and is, nameless. Who knows if his body was ever identified? Who knows if he was a hero at the end? His story will never be told in the retrospectives, but, it is the story of all of them. Innocent victims trying to live their lives like the rest of us. He was somebody's son, lover, best friend, brother, etc... He knew love and good times. He planned for a future that was not to be. And, if he knew who had attacked them in the buildings, he wondered what we all do, ''How can human beings do this to each other?'' It is the unanswerable question... A year later, there was an article in the Chicago Tribune with a Mother and Father who had lost a son in the buildings. His body was never found, but, there was a picture of a man hanging out of the building. The parents seemed to think it was their son, but, they weren't sure. It was the man I saw that day, I believe. I wish I could remember the family name, but, in a way, its best I don't. The victims are everybody's son... Now, with the death of Bin Laden there was a lot of celebrating. People jumped and whooped in the streets like the Bulls had won a championship. I didn't find that sort of thought process appealing to me. Yes, I am glad that the son of a bitch got his comeuppance.  But, the revenge factor long ago went away. That night I shut the t.v. and said a prayer for all of his victims. Then, I turned off my light and tried to sleep. There was no immediate drop off, I was thinking about the man in the building. I hope he and the other victims that day have a little more peace now.

Excerpt From The Diary Of The Widow Bin Laden

Dear Diary. Here it is a few days after the death of my beloved, and the cave where we shared so much together is playing to yesterday's ghosts. I miss him. I miss everything about him-- from his musk of not bathing for 8 months to his childlike glee over watching ''Glee''. How we used to sing together over ''our songs'' like, ''Who bombed the World Trade Center, doo da, doo da.''... So many memories... I remember our first date: a couple of his pals came to our village, blew it up, kidnapped me, slaughtered my family, and played Menudo music really loud. And, when I saw his face for the first time--- I thought he was Scottie Pippen of The Bulls--- through my veil, I knew I had found the man for me!!! There was a gentleness to him as he cut off heads of strangers. I would be lying to you if I told you I wasn't turned on by that!!! Plus, the man could dance!!! Many a night our cave was rocking with parties and music. The guest list was a virtual Who's Who of the terrorism world: Hussein, Qaddafi, Noriega,  Merv Griffin. One night there was a rather heated argument about religion: But, my beloved settled it by killing his enemies and taking us to White Castle... As a father, he was the tops!!! His 49 kids with me and the other Goommas were his pride and joy. That is another source of hurt for me now: we lost 2 of our sons-- Binny Jr and Tito-- when those ''infidels'' ripped my family unit apart!!! ...Now, I am single. What do I do? Who could top him? No one, dammit!!!.. I just signed up for Al Qaeda E Harmony. Who would want me? After 14 years of marriage, who wants a old woman like me? I just turned 21... Somebody desperate, I know... Here is my profile: '' Lonely, single woman, recently widowed. Looking for a man who knows how to treat a woman worse than a dog. Must love camels, HATE AMERICA, love sunsets, and the aroma of gunfire. Must have the runs!!.. and, looking at those camels-- he must have a penis longer than 1 inch.''.. That is my profile. I have only one response so far: Who is this Charlie Sheen???... Now, it is late. I have the real estate agent coming over tomorrow to put the cave up for sale. Then I must move-- I'm thinking Libya for the peace and quiet. But, it won't be the same.