Final Thoughts On Sandusky

And, so he was found guilty. On 45 of 48 counts. I must admit that I was one of those that thought he would walk, what with, 9 of the 12 jurors having ties to Penn State. This is one of those times in life when I am proud to admit that I was wrong. Had there been a hung jury, or, a dismissal of these charges, there was another round of charges facing Jerry Sandusky. Almost immediately, the Attorney Generals Office in Pennsylvania was ready to indict him again on similiar charges. Because, unfortunately, there were other victims.... So, now, Sandusky will get his prison time. There will be appeals, but, the rest of his life will be in prison. Yes, that is justice. For his ultimate penance, that will be up to God. Here, we just give him what we can. Although, if this monster is not a perfect candidate to be put to death then I don't know who is. I see no value in keeping him alive. The anti- death penalty people scream about his rights. No, he lost those rights when he started abusing innocent children [ God knows how really many more he bothered that haven't come forward ]. There is nothing to be gained by having him be alive in prison. Psychologists explain that they would like to study someone like Sandusky and learn what is in the mind of such a madman. Then, perhaps, there can be a lesson learned and they could stop future people like him with analysis. This is garbage, of course. The simple, cold fact is that someone like Sandusky can not be stopped until after he has committed his crimes. We arrest the killer after he has killed. We arrest the arsonist after he has set fire. And, most sobering, we catch a predator after he has violated his victims..... Sandusky will be a marked man in prison. Not only is he famous, but, he molests children. We have always heard that child molesters in prison are abused far worse than other convicted criminals. Isn't it ironic that thieves, murders, and the general scum that make up our prison population have ''ethics'' when it comes to child rapists? These lowlifes have standards!!! So, picture a bastard who killed a family of six with an chainsaw saying that he doesn't like someone who bothers children. Well, I guess in prison even they have their pecking order of obscene behavior. Sandusky probably won't be in the general population because of this issue. If he is, then look for him to become another Jeffrey Dahmer, who survived a few years in jail before he was beaten to death by a mass- murderer. Maybe, that will be his death penalty..... Penn Stae should be worried. The charges now will shift to them. What did they know and when did they know it. Already two high-ranking officials have been charged with perjury. Many more may be next. One of the principal questions surrounding this case is how no one reported it years ago when it first started. On the record, the higher ups claim they knew nothing about what was happening with Sandusky. I bet their off-the record statements are very different. Of course, they knew. There were rumors about Sandusky for years. There were even jokes about his fondness for small boys that circulated among the staff and students. And, there were also staff members who caught him showering with these little boys. Paterno knew, as everyone else did. Now, they are covering their tracks because they are next in the firing line. And, along with these people will come the disclosure on how much money was made by affiliates of Penn State. Millions and millions of dollars flow through this instittution. You wanna know the real reason the story was squashed until recently? Follow the money. And, with the money trail you most likely will come to the doorstep of the rich and powerful. Politicians. Lawyers. CEO'S. The police.The arrest and conviction of Sandusky may just be the beginning of this story.... The long-term affects in this case are the kids abused by Sandusky. There were the 8 who testified, and, as I have said, there were more ready with another round of charges. All of our thoughts and prayers must be with these people. They have the scars. From a young age they were robbed of their childhood and of their innocence that goes along with being a child. In life there are many forms of abuse. Sexual, physical, emotional. Millions of people carry this cross throughout their lives. For some, the cross becomes too heavy and they falter. For others, they charge through life, never forgetting, but, trying to survive. I wish them all the luck in the world. Yes, they are victims. But, they are also heroes. They suffered in silence for a while but they still knew that justice must be done. It must have been horrible to not only go through what they went through with this piece of shit, but, also to take the threats and taunts that came their way after the story broke. Remember the scenes of cars being overturned and fires breaking out after the Joe Paterno firing? There still is a strong sense in that area of Sandusky being railroaded. These young men were in fear for their lives by this mob mentality. ''Esquire'' magazine has a fascinating article in this month's issue about one of the victims [ unnamed in the story, as it should be ] facing constant threats from fellow students and older adults because of his association in this case. These simpletons judged him the guilty one for spilling the whole story to the authorities. Finally, he had to change high schools to get away from the abuse. More abuse...... I think these victims, who lost the trust of adults when they were young, deserve a deep bow for their bravery. They should be not ashamed of what happened. They should feel pride on coming forward and stopping this creature and the school who harbored him. Let us hope that they live happy lives and find that someone who will bring love into their lives.... When we were kids, we all had nightmares about a monster who was chasing us. For these victims: the monster is gone. Sleep warmly.....

Fallen Idol

The movie is called '' Killer Elite''. It sat on the shelf next to all of the new movie releases. The film came out at this time last year and barely made a ripple with audiences. Just another in a long line of mindless action movies. That is fine with me, for audiences need mindless entertainment along with meaningful statements. Not every film should be art-house films for the elite. I enjoy mindless entertainment like everybody else. The problem with this film is that one of its stars sticks out. His name is Robert DeNiro. And, what is disquieting about seeing his name in a movie like this is that it is just another example of a sad string of bad movie choices by this once great actor.... Robert DeNiro exploded on the national scene in the early 1970's. It was the last Golden Era for moviemaking. After liberating the movies from the previous censorship of Hollywood past, suddenly a new era of daring, controversial, in-your-face style of cinema arrived. Subjects tackled at this time were given a freedom that had not existed before. The shackles were off the filmmakers: now you could do whatever you wanted and express it the proper way. Basically put, real life came out of the closet and flaunted itself royally to the masses. A new kind of actor was also needed to be the ''channel'' from the filmmaker to the audience. An average everyman who didn't look or sound like a movie star. Dustin Hoffman was the first to arrive way back in 1967 with ''The Graduate''. Gene Hackman came on his heels with his blistering supporting role in ''Bonnie and Clyde''. Jack Nicholson roared into the public's mind at the back of a motorcycle in ''Easy Rider''. Robert Duvall had been kicking around Hollywood for over a decade scratching to get in the door. He finally did with a role in ''The Godfather'', which also introduced another ''everyman'' looking actor, Al Pacino. Finally, the puzzle was completed in 1973 when a small movie named ''Mean Streets'' showed up by a promising director named Martin Scorsese. In this film, there is the role of Johnny-Boy, a crazy, neurotic street kid. He has a temper like a firecracker, and, is not afraid to display it. This was the role that made Hollywood pay strong attention to this new actor. A kid named DeNiro..... The emotional range that DeNiro showed in acting was also on display in another small movie at this time, ''Bang The Drum Slowly'', the story of two baseball friends. One friend is dying. DeNiro played the doomed catcher. If you need an example of this man's acting range look at these two films. One film he is a psycho, another a simple man slowly dying. One film shocks in its intensity, the other pulls at your heartstrings. That is the magic of movies: to manuevers one's emotions. DeNiro was ''channeling'' the raw power of acting that his idol, Marlon Brando had pioneered early in his career. It was called ''Method Acting'', but, I have always called it ''Real-Life'' acting, for the situations and behavior reflect all of us if we were experiencing the same circumstances.... After ''Mean Streets'', Hollywood came to DeNiro's door. Francis Ford Coppola cast him as the young Vito Corleone in ''The Godfather, Part Two''. DeNiro won the best supporting Oscar for his portrayal. From then on he wrote his own meal ticket. The list of his  70's - 80' films is staggering in its quality: ''Taxi Driver'', ''The Deer Hunter'', ''Raging Bull'', ''The King Of Comedy'', ''Once Upon A Time In America'', ''Angel Heart'', ''The Untouchables'', and ''Midnight Run'', all testify to this man's diversity and fully-matured talent. As a young man driven to be an actor at this time, I can honestly say he was the template for all of us starting out. He was, first of all, a man who ignored the enticements of fame and fortune. He wasn't in the gossip columns much [ except for the story of him being with his friend John Belushi the night before Belushi's death ], he kept his private life private. That earned all of our respect in the struggling actors ranks. One of the things all actors like to do is imitate their favorite scenes from their favorite movies. All great actors, from Spencer Tracy on to Sean Penn, have those moments, but, the DeNiro movie moments always caused a stir. Perhaps, it would be the famous ''Are You Talking To Me?'', speech to the mirror in ''Taxi Driver''. Or, the Russian Roulette scene from ''The Deer Hunter''. But, the crowning achievement imitations would always come from''Raging Bull'', the film that is by common consensus, the greatest movie in DeNiro's career. He famously gained 60 pounds for some of the scenes as washed-up fighter Jake LaMotta. His moments with the superb, and underrated actor, Joe Pesci, are what should be shown in acting classes. Witness the scene where they are fixing the TV set. DeNiro is trying to find out if his brother is sleeping with DeNiro's wife. The battering back and forth between the two-- so similiar to boxers battering back and forth in the ring--- make for priceless movie magic. Most of the scene was improvised and refined by the time the camera started shooting. But, DeNiro, genius in character, still throws Pesci curves in the scene. There is a close-up of Pesci reacting to the charge of sleeping with his sister-in law. It is a genuine reaction because DeNiro, off-camera, said something foul about Pesci's mother. Joe Pesci's reaction is perfect, as what DeNiro thought it would be when he said the line. The instincts and understanding of Robert DeNiro, performer, were on display in every facet of this movie-- and, all his movies during this extraordinary run of films. No one could touch him onscreen.... DeNiro started off the 1990's strong with ''Goodfellas'' and ''Awakenings''. He continued to show his range, and, maybe, come full circle a little. One story was about about a crazy hoodlum, the other about a comatose patient brought back to life for a short period. Then, his choices became more harder to accept. He overacted embarrassingly in ''Cape Fear''. He played a drab casino owner in ''Casino''. He sparkled in a few scenes in ''Heat''. Then, he discovered comedy. By this time, DeNiro was in his mid-50's and was indeed slowly down. No longer was he the Young Turk actor. He was mellowing and it showed on-screen. Comedy seemed to become his fortress from his working too hard. This is not to demean some of his comedy efforts. The comedy ''Analyze This'' was great fun poking at his most famous characters. Unfortunately, it started a cycle downhill that he has never recovered from. He plays two distinct roles now -- the criminal and the parody of the criminal. For some time, this was ok. I was holding my breath waiting for him to go back to his strengths... I guess I am tired of holding my breath. It is time to exhale. I have to be careful about my expectations from my favorite actors. I know they are aged and do not have the energy to do the great work they once did. I lowered the bar on all of them. The movie business now is very different than the business back in their prime. It is all one movie idea now and even the greats are swept up in the mediocrity. Some like Hackman simply retire with the knowledge that they have done their work and nothing more needs to be said. Some like Hoffman and Duvall seek out the smaller roles that are interesting. Nicholson plays by his own rules-- whenever he wants to say something he will come down from Mulholland Drive and say it. Pacino still seems in fine form, with only an occasional misfire. That leaves DeNiro. He cranks out the movies left and right, but, they are just sad reminders that he is just a shell of his former self. It pains me to write these words, as I have said, he was the ''God'' to all of us actors way back in the old days. I'm rooting for him to ring the bell one more time and knock us on our asses. It will show the younger audiences, who only know him from the ''Meet The Fockers'' type of drivel, what a great actor he is.... In 1997, Robert DeNiro appeared in a small role in Quentin Tarantino's movie ''Jackie Brown''. It was nothing to write home about, but, it least, it wasn't embarrasing. At one point, Samuel L. Jackson shoots him in a car. While DeNiro is bleeding, Sam Jackson says , ''What happened to you, man? Your ass used to be beautiful''..... Yes, at one time, he was the beautiful....

My Kind Of Town

In my twenties Chicago became my adopted hometown. I lived in the suburbs, Des Plaines, and made my frequent trips to the city to go to acting class, see friends, and, basically, do all the things that unattached twenty-somethings do. It is the right of passage of the young. You are now off the leash and making all of your decisions. That is why many of us let it all hang out during those frenzied years. And, if you are going to let it all go there is no better place than that fine lady of a city by the lake, the Mistress Chicago. And, many nights I seduced her..... Back then, the late 80's and 90's, Chicago was still aglow with the magic of the 1985 Bears team and their charismatic coach and players. For those too young to remember, I cannot overstate the euphoria that those Bears teams gave the city. You could feel the crackle of electricity literally at your fingertips. The buzz in the city was pronounced. When you walked into a nightclub or restaurant-- and, it seemed like all the players had restaurants going-- there was a strong sense that you might rub shoulders with a famous person. Because of my youth, which gives you the energy to go all night, I drank it all in. Literally and physically. I remember standing by the bar at the ''U.S. Blues Bar'', the forerunner of today's House Of Blues. It was a small basement bar beneath The Fireplace Inn [ which had great ribs] on Wells Street, kitty corner from Second City. The unknown Chris Farley was hammered out of his mind most nights there after his show at Second City. He seemed ok, I really didn't talk to him. He seemed more intent on showing people his manhood-- which, if I was him, I would have left in my pants, if you know what I'm saying. That bar is my choice for my all-time favorite bar in my lifetime. Great music, local and national celebrities like Farley, Steve Dahl, Joe Walsh, Buzz Kilmon, Jim Belushi, Dan Aykroyd. It was all hosted by the great Steve Beshakis. Steve was a childhood friend of John Belushi's and the bar itself was a shrine to his fallen friend. Steve always teared up when talking about John, which was often. Sadly, last year, Steve died horribly. His apartment caught on fire and he got out, but, went back inside to retrieve his beloved cat. The fire got them both. But, I have fond memories of that place. That was Chicago back then. The whole street seemed to know each other. Maybe, because middle-age is settling in on me I view that time a little more with a nostalgic glow... These thoughts came back to me because yesterday I made my yearly trip to the city. I took the train because getting there is a nightmare and the parking sucks. Funny, those things didn't seem to bother me when I was young [ another sign of age]. I enjoy taking the train, though. There is an interesting group of people who ride them. You have the business community. You have the tourists. You have the bizarre people who talk to themselves. A nice mixture. After getting to Union Station it took exactly 36 seconds before the first homeless person hit me up for change. He was a homeless veteran. What homeless person doesn't advertise himself as a veteran? And, I brushed off the pleas to buy the paper that the homeless sell. Why would I buy this? To see an article on the new cardboard box Darrell Johnson has on Lake Street? Gee, I hope the article comes with pictures!!!! Ducking the pigeons that also follow you I made my treck east towards the lake. This is a nice thing I do for myself. I have no set plan, Chicago will lead my day. At a stoplight I pulled a woman away from a speeding car that was gonna hit her. She was texting and wasn't paying attention. This is normal nowadays. There was no thank you for my efforts, so, now I'm thinking I should have let the car hit her. I could have then taken her phone, which was sweet. Two cab drivers ahead of me were arguing in a language that I couldn't comprehend. It got rather heated and the police were called. Order was soon restored and the cops went back to Dunkin Donuts... I walked but I also marveled, as I always do, at the immense beauty that this city offers. When I was a kid I loved the sight of these buildings. I still do. It is extraordinary that this much imagination and physical human labor goes into making these giants. Standing under the Sears Tower [ I won't call it by its new name, sorry folks] I looked up and up and up and up. And, then I had a dark thought. Two similar buildings were hit in New York and came down. God Help Us if this ever happens again. This gave me a shudder in the warm air. Never again, I said to myself. Never again... Darting through many streets and trying to avoid the everyday people I managed to walk by the old, late, great, Sun Times building that is no more. It is now Trump Tower. I must admit it was impressive. And, looked mighty expensive, too. But, being a sentimental romantic I missed the aura of that Sun Times building. The greats were in there shaping the news for us-- as, were their counterparts across the street at the Chicago Tribune. Now it is Trump Tower. Reason Number 2,136 for me to hate Donald Trump... My stomach growled, always a dangerous thing to hear, so, I made my way to the House Of Blues. I shamefully confess I have never been to this location before. I have been to the one on the Sunset Strip in L.A., which is amazing. The Chicago one is located between the Marina City Towers and seemed a little small to me. I was expecting a more ''Chicago'' vibe to it. It seemed rather corporate. Maybe, because the original partners, Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi's widow, Judy, are no longer the principal voices. However, they did serve me a tasty burger. As I was eating I saw a nice sign overlooking the stage: ''This joint is dedicated in loving memory to Jake Blues. Rest In Party- Elwood''. Nice little tribute, Dan.... Back out into the sunshine, my next stop was the Billy Goat Tavern. I never thought much of this place, but, it is a famous Chicago landmark, so, what the hell, I will give it a shot again. It is located underneath many stairs on Lower Wacker Drive, just off of Michigan Avenue. This seems dangerous. How many nights has a customer had a snootful and then attempted to walk up those dastardly stairs? I walked in and immediately was reminded of why I hate this place. Sure, Mike Royko and other famous people have been here, but, famous people can be wrong, too. I still think the place is a shithole. One thing that really bothers me is sitting at a bar with stools that are too short. It makes me feel like I am sitting at the kids table during Thanksgiving. My doctor tells me I am 5'9, 204 pounds. In my minds eye, I am 6'4 and 175. But, this bar made me look like ''Tattoo'' on ''Fantasy Island''. I looked around and observed the people there. There were fat, sweaty, profane, farting people who were touching their crotches a lot. And, then their were the men.... I had a beer and made a fast getaway. No loss. Back into the world of normal looking people who bathe I decided to people watch. This is always a fun sport for me. Ah, summertime in the city!!! Women wearing summer dresses and shorts!!! Jimmy like this !!!! You ladies-- God, I love you all!!!! After the weather, this is the best thing about summer... I stopped into the NBC building and broke a rule. I went to the bathroom in the building that was supposed to be just for employees. Ole Rebel Me. On my way out of the building I heard my name called. It was some recently graduated students from the high school I worked at. It was a nice, quick reunion. They were amazed that ''Mr. Scoleri'' has a normal life to live like they do. We parted with well-wishes being shared to all. Then, I went to Navy Pier. I haven't been here in many years. The last time I was there was with an old girlfriend of mine and her niece and nephew. This thought was triggered by looking at the huge Ferris Wheel . I had to go up on that thing with them. I have never been too thrilled with rides that are meant to scare you. If you want to be really scared I will take you to some neighborhoods in the city. But, up we went that day. At some point, I remember praying that I would go to India and work with lepers if I survived this ride. After the ride was over, we got back on the ground. My girlfriend and the kids were a little shaken up. I was huddled in a corner sobbing openly.... Fortunately, I did not need to go on that ride. I walked passed the restaurants [ Billy Goat being one of them. I gave it the EVIL EYE]. Then, after a safe distance I turned and looked at the Chicago skyline. What a beautiful sight!!!! We often forget in our travels around the country that we have a glorious city at our fingertips everyday. My heart was filled with smiles as I slowly made my way back towards the train station... I made one more stop before I got on my train. It was at the Vietnam Memorial Wall. It is a small replica of the original wall in Washington. There is no need for an explanation of why I was there. I needed to be there. Seeing all those names on the walls of the dead-- well, sobering and sad are the only words to use. The majority of the fatalities seemed to happen in the years 1967-1970. Many names, all of them unknown to me, but, in a strange way, are known because they gave me my freedom to be in Chicago on this day. There was one man with me at the wall. He was in his 60's I would guess. I watched him but didn't say anything to him. I did not want to intrude on his grief. He had tears in his eyes as he searched the names of the people he knew. I watched him sigh. The pain never goes away for the survivors of war. I left him to himself and his memories. As I was walking away I was hoping no one would be with him. He needed to be alone with his long-ago lost friends..... Sitting on the train I decided it was a most successful day. I do this once a year by myself and I enjoy it. Now, I will go to the city with family and friends sometimes, but, this is my day. A time to discover. A time for new adventures. A time to rediscover old stories. And, as I saw at the Vietnam Memorial, it is a time to celebrate life.....

Me And The Stars

One of the benefits of being a struggling actor is the ability to observe without being observed in return. You are a face in the crowd, one of thousands. You can spot peculiar behavior, and, you can see unexpected human kindness. I was one of many actors trying to make their mark way back when. I may not have rang the bell of stardom, but, I was around people who gonged... Many of you know in my twenties I made the push to succeed as an actor. I did all the actor's rituals. I took the classes. I went on the cattle-call auditions with three thousand of my closest friends. I was also an ''extra'' in shows filmed in the Chicago area. This time, the late 80's and early 90's, was a booming time to go for the gold. There was a lot of work being done. That is the secret of any struggling actor: stay busy. That elusive role will not come to you like in the movies. You have to pound the pavement like any profession. I made the rounds with casting agents. I was rejected many a time [ having thick skin is vital when doing performing ], knowing full well that I could sink my teeth into the role better than the cousin of the producer who would be hired. And, even though it was thought of as down on the food chain you had to become a ''background person'', or, ''extra''.... It went along with being seen by people in the industry. Being an ''extra'' was basically doing the grunt work. You are there very early in the morning, many times to be fitted for whatever costume you may be wearing. Then you would wait. And, wait. And, wait. The food was good, so, right away, I would find myself being drawn to the craft's service table. Unlike many of my fellow actors I never looked down on what I was doing. The pay wasn't bad, back then. Sure, you were there in the background where no one will notice you-- they are looking at the principal actors. But, there is the glamour of being around the magic of creating something that, hopefully, will be seen for many years to come. Also, in the back of the minds of all extras, there is the faint hope that lightening will strike and you will get that nod towards your destiny. That never happened to me, but, I got to rub shoulders with the stars.... My first gig as an extra was that landmark cinematic masterpiece, ''Mario and the Mob'', starring the legends known as Robert Conrad and Ann Jillian. Yes, I started at the top, folks!!! Do not bother to look up this dreck because after I saw it I felt unclean myself. But, this was my first job in movies-- around 1991-- and, I got to see how the process is done. And, it is just as slow and tedious as you have always heard. I worked one day on this flick, and, my scene consisted of sitting in an outdoor restaurant with about a dozen people around me filling space. Robert Conrad walked with another man past the tables and, then, hold on to your hats!!!, a car sped up to the curve, gangsters jumped out, and, fired with their machine guns, at all of us and Mr. Conrad. Thankfully, Robert Conrad was saved, as were we extras. Actually, you might try to find the scene because it has the rare distinction of seeing me RUN!!! After all, the mob was hunting me.... I believe my next ''role'' was in the movie, ''The Babe'' starring John Goodman as the Ole' Bambino himself, Babe Ruth. This was shot in the very hot summer of 1991 at Wrigley Field. For two smoldering weeks I sat in the hot bleachers and stands at 1060 W. Addison. And, I loved it!!! Being a life-long Cub fan who was being paid to sit at Wrigley!!! Plus, since the story took place in the 20's and 30's I had a old-fashioned suit to wear. I love those old suits-- back when they made real suits for real men. I confess that I looked like a dandy all decked up. And, it was a ball sitting and bullshitting with all the people. Doing those things together creates a bonding, and good- natured humor. When John Goodman appeared, he seemed a little arrogant and stand-offish. That is ok, since, I do not believe you bother someone who is working. He has a job to do and so did I. The finished product was a disappointment, but, you do see me at one point, clear as the morning sun. It is not at Wrigley, but, in another scene at a formal dinner. The camera pulls down from the ceiling and settles at two men in the buffet line. Yep, I am around food again. I am wearing a text, too. The words used to describe me in my monkey suit were '' stunning and striking''. I was the only person to utter those words.... Less than a month later I was back at Wrigley Field to play a groundskeeper in ''A League Of Their Own'', with Tom Hanks, Geena Davis, and Madonna. This was star power!!! Madonna was fresh off her book , ''Sex'', and, Geena Davis was riding high on ''Thelma and Louise''. Geena was friendly, as was the director, Penny Marshall-- although she and I didn't drink Milk and Pepsi--. Penny asked me to be a stand-in for Jon Lovitz, who was also in the movie. Since he and I share no resemblance I thought it was an odd request, but, I said yes. That job just requires you standing there while they light the scene and set the camera angles. Penny spent most of the time complaining about the cramps in her stomach. I didn't ask if Lenny and Squiggy were responsible. Madoona was closely guarded. She had some bad- assed dudes watching her every step, and, if you even looked in her direction the bodyguards would swoop in. [ The tough bodyguard might have been Rosie O'Donnell, come to think of it] I was eating lunch one day in the Cubs dugout when I saw Geena and Madonna have an argument. I do not remember what it was about, but, you could tell that they did not like each other. Tom Hanks seemed to distance himself from all that was going on around him. He played ball with his son on the field between shots. He was friendly with me. He came across as a nice guy. And, like me , he seemed thrilled to be standing on Wrigley Field. I made sure that I stood in every position spot on the field. I remember standing on third base, where Ron Santo had ruled for so many years, and, looking around. I felt the ghosts of player's past consume me. It was a a moment in my life I will never forget.... You don't really see my face in the movie, but, you see my torso. They cut out my head in the shot. I will say this: my body really looked like a temple back then..... There were other extra roles. I got thrown off the set of ''Home Alone 2'' because the director heard me tell other people how much the first movie sucked. I met Joe Pesci on the set of ''The Public Eye'' and he seemed very shy and nice. I took a picture with Dustin Hoffman on ''Hero'' and conversed with him[ he would be my vote as the best celebrity I dealt with]. I saw Jack Nicholson, ah, ''altered'' after a Bulls playoff game on the set of ''Hoffa'' [ he would be my vote as the best actor I saw perform. Jack was flawless]. I shook hands with Keanu Reeves, which made many a female want to lick my hand. I went into the bowels of Daley Plaza to film a scene with an obviously out of it Tom Sizemore in ''The Relic''. I was outside of Chicago Stadium at midnight on a Friday night watching Oprah shoot a scene for ''There Are No Children Here''. Thankfully, there were no gang memebers there, either. And, then, there was ''The Fugitive''.... This is my legacy role. The scene consisted of me and a few others crossing the street towards the camera, while Harrison Ford was walking the other way. He is going to see the guy in prison who he thought was the one-armed man. It is right before the St. Patrick's Day parade chase. Yes, you can see me clear as a bell. I am on the left, wearing a rain coat, with a suit on underneath. I have a full head of dark hair and I am thin. This was 1993, remember. I put out my hand to stop traffic. It is a simple moment, but, it is dear to me. The director, Andrew Davis, was very kind to us all. Harrison Ford was quiet, but, pleasant. If I had to pick a high point to my few years being an extra it would be this. Not just because you see me--- some friends continue to insist that it was someone else because my face looks different--- but, because, for a few moments, I felt like a true actor. I had been on stage many times, but, this one time has stayed with me..... I gave myself until I was thirty for something to click for me in acting. It did not, so, I walked away. My agent and some other friends tried to talk me out of it, but, I gave it my shot, which is what I wanted to do. I did not want to spend the rest of my life wondering what might have been. I tried and, in my mind, I succeeded in my intentions. I would not trade those days for anything. I have my memories and good stories.... And, whenever ''The Fugitive'' is playing on TV, which is often, I know, for some magical reason I always come across ''my scene''.... My scene. Sorry, Harrison....