Interesting... The People Who You Meet!!!

Ivan Vaughn invited his pal out to hear some music and to pick up some girls. He and his friend were born on the same day and year. They had just turned 15. Now, this was 1957 and picking up girls was a lot harder to do than later generations. But, Ivan and his friend-- Boy A-- were pretty good at it. Boy A already was a good looking kid who turned heads on older women. The second reason , the music, was of some interest to both boys. Ivan wanted to introduce Boy A to his other friend, Boy B. Ivan wasn't sure if it would work-- both boys were of different temperament. Boy A was a bit of an apple polisher. Boy B was the neighborhood hoodlum. But, he knew that they all shared an interest in rock and roll, so, what the hell, he would try to get his two good friends together. So, on this sunny July 7th, Ivan and Boy A went to the Woolton Church Festival to have some fun. As they approached the fairgrounds, they heard the music. Twenty Flight Rock was the song. Boy B's band was playing this simple song, but, Boy A noticed that the lead singer was making up his own words. And, the words were pretty good!!! And, the singer sure had stage presence!!! After watching the performance, any thought of meeting girls evaporated. Boy A wanted to meet the lead singer and to see if he could somehow play with the band. There was the intermission. Ivan took Boy A backstage-- which was actually the inside of the church--- and introduced Boys A and B to each other. Boy A was full of compliments for the band. And, never being short of confidence, he preceded to grab a guitar and show his near perfect imitation of Little Richard to the band. He also sang the correct version of Twenty Flight Rock. The band was mightily impressed. As Boy A was playing, he noticed that a drunk old man was leaning over him. He turned and realized his mistake. It wasn't an old man, but, the lead singer, Boy B. After this quick audition, the intermission was over and it was time for the second half of the show. The band took the stage. Boy B became charismatic again. The crowd loved him. The girls started surging towards the stage. Boy A  decided he wanted to join THIS BAND!!!... Ivan soon left with Boy A. And, after the performance, Boy B sobered up enough to take stock of the meeting. He had to admit that Ivan's friend was talented. He would be an asset to any band. Certainly, the band would be stronger. But, could he stand the challenge of being leader? He had been Kingpin up until that point. Could he put his ego aside and improve the band? Boy B called Ivan up that night and said he wanted Boy A in the band. Boy A was asked and he said yes. Now, the band called The Quarrymen, had two strong leaders...This was July 7 1957. It has gone down in history-- both of music and of pop culture... Boy A was named McCartney and Boy B was named Lennon. The band changed several names before it became...well, you know....

Mom Part 3

Okay. I want to go quickly on this last part. Mom had quadruple bypass surgery 6 months after my father's passing. The operation went well, but, in the recovery room, her heart stopped 4 times. She was in a coma for 2 days. She survived, but, one kidney was destroyed and the other was severely damaged. She became a dialysis patient. 3 days a week for the next year and a half. It really doesn't help you get better-- it just keeps death away. She wasted away and passed away in June 1998-- I found her curled up in the fetal position... Now, I have zoomed through this last part because it is too painful to write. Also, looking back at the first two parts I realize that I have made my Mom a victim. At the end she was, but, her life, and my Dad's, were anything but. They lived a fairy tale romance. They had joy. They loved and were loved. They had friends galore. To give the impression that they lived in doom is wrong. Please take away from this a lesson: Live life well. Love well. Enjoy your family and friends. They did. I could go on days about them, but, my space is limited. I will just say that those of you who knew them know how special they were. And, those of you who didn't know them-- well, when we all go to Heaven I will introduce you to my parents. You will love them... But, bring an appetite. Mom will have some pizza waiting for you to eat. And, trust me: You will love it!!!

Mom Part 2

My sister Lisa was born in 1956. Mom and Dad were overjoyed. They tried very hard to have kids. And, with her birth came the joy of being parents. Tom came in 1962, and, I was in 1965. My parents never tired of being with us kids. Even to this day, I am stunned that we all were together so much. That seems like a natural thing, but, as I've gotten older I realize how rare that is in the family unit. We ate dinner every night-- with the t.v. off-- and laughed and argued and loved each other. As with every family,there are little favorites. Dad had Lisa and me. Mom had Tom. Perhaps because Tom reminded her so much of her father that she had a special place in her heart for him. There was no jealousy on anyone's part. There was plenty of love to go around....Throughout the 60's and 70's Mom was a happy housewife. Dad was out in the world and he wanted my mother to stay at home until the kids were older. Partly because he wanted us to always have someone at home. Partly because he wanted to keep the cruelness that  life has out there to stay away from his family. He didn't want the wolves at the door.. Lisa got married in 1980 and blessed the family with grandkids. By this time, Tom and I  were grown up and out in the world. The 80's were a time of separation for us. Tom moved away to Ohio for work, Lisa was living in Schaumburg, and, well, I was living it up in my 20's. Dad was in charge of the family, but, Mom was his support system. Behind her sweet demeanor was a strong woman, who when challenged, could be a rock. And, in the 90's she was being challenged beyond belief... In 1991the love of her life developed cancer. Dad, as I have written before, survived, but, he was never the same again. They went from being equal partners to Mom shouldering the brunt of the relationship. She did extraordinary. My sister and I helped as best we could,but, Mom did the heavy lifting. She was cheerful with Dad. Encouraging. Never let him see her get down. But, there were times when I would see the shadow of sadness pass over her face when she would look at him...Then in 1995, my brother died. Shocking, horrible death. I told my parents that their son was dead. Dad took it as best as he could, but, Mom was crushed... Understandable... She took to her bed all the next day while my aunt-- her sister Gloria-- and the rest of our family took care of her. My most heartbreaking memory is of going into her bedroom and hearing her cry for my brother.. ''My poor little boy''... The shock and sadness never went away. Then my Dad died in his sleep 6 months later. Mom found him. Their love affair was over.. In this life anyway... Then came her own horror...

Mom Part 1

For a Irish woman she made some great Italian food. My friends always made it a point to come over when she was cooking. I was under no illusions of why they were there. I smiled and ate along with them. Her lasagna and pizza were the stars. Even to this day I have dreams about them, --sadly, I awake before I get the chance to savor them one last time.... My beautiful mother was born Patricia Grimmer in 1930. She was raised around Wrigley Field and was a rabid Cub fan [ she passed that along to her kids]. Her older sister was Gloria and from an early age there was a bond between them that never loosened through life. Mom grew up a upper middle class girl. Not rich, but, not hurting for money, which came in handy during the Depression. By her account, she was a happy little girl who adored her mother and father, especially her Dad. Dad would take her to those Cub games and she learned all the players names. That was a shared passion with her Dad. That passion was doused in 1949 when he died at the obscenely early age of 46. Mom was heartbroken. She still had her Mom, but, the tears were always there when she would speak of her Dad and I would sense, even years later , when  we would go to a game, that she was looking for his memory in that ballpark... After graduating high school, Mom got a job working as a teller in a bank. She would occasionally date, but, she was a shy girl and was searching for that right man. The man that was going to sweep her off her feet. And, she found him when she met my father at a wake... There are more romantic places to meet someone than a wake. I don't even know who it was that was lying in that casket, but, that person deserves a huge thank you. Dad was very witty and charming. Mom was a good audience. That makes for a good team. It became roles that they both never outgrew. Soon after, he took her out for their first date--- Mom tried pizza for the first time. I have tried to imagine what they talked about, but, it doesn't matter. Love was in the air. And, being the romantics that they were, they both knew that they found the person to share  life with. They were married in 1953... The first couple of years were a test for Mom. Not from Dad, but, my grandmother-- Dad's mother. She was the stereotypical Italian who believed that the son should take care of the mother. Mom tried,but, being non Italian put her at a disadvantage. It got to a point that Mom actually left my father for a short period of time. This was unheard of in the conservative 50's. Dad brokered a deal with the warring parties, but, there would always be a tension between the women in my father's life. He was torn... Things got better , though, when my sister was born...

Still A Classic

In 1999, a show premiered on HBO to a little bit of hype, but, low expectations. That show was ''The Sopranos'' and quality soon had a new best friend. For those of you who do not know or haven't seen the show, you have a homework assignment: ''make your bones'' with the show. The story evolves around the Soprano family, both the blood family and the family that deals in blood. Tony, played royally by the charismatic James Gandolfini, handles the day to day life problems of a husband, parent, friend, mob boss, and patient. Surrounding him are a marvelous cast of characters ranging from the names ''Meadow'' to ''Big Pussy''. All of these people have problems and situations that we all have, except their life is turned inside out by crime... That is all the synopsis that you need. Now go watch the show and enjoy.... For the rest of us who grew to be obsessed by Tony and his people, it became a benchmark in our entertainment history. I can talk all day about the plot twists and the deeper signifigance of the characters, but, it is too much an exercise in the obvious. What the heart of the show has shown is the extraordinary talents of those in front of and behind the camera coming together for perfect presentation... Start with the writing, headed by show creator David Chase. The richness of the dialogue seeps through the t.v. and instantly captures the viewers fancy. You can see the joy in the actors faces and in the energy of their performances when they say their lines. Followed hot on the heels of the words are the plot twists. The best way to describe them, I believe, is like one of those rides at a carnival-- as soon as you are going in one direction, WHOOSH, you zoom into another direction. Well thought out and well crafted, Mr. Chase and company deservedly received countless awards for their efforts.... Direction is a special mention. The sense of danger and tension are always present. It is there in the writing, but, very often in film with a loose director it is lost in translation. Not here!!! Like a perfect tennis game the writing and directors gather on one side and hit the ball to the other side that holds the actors... And, those actors... Not a flaw in the cast. From Gandolfini and Edie Falco to Michael Imperioli and Drea De Matteo, they all are a joy to watch. Gandolfini has the toughest assignment. Because Tony is so large, bigger than life, there is a temptation for an actor to go too broad and over the top. Gandolfini is too smart and too talented to let that happen-- and, I suspect Chase wouldn't let him. The loud moments are just as compelling as the quiet moments. Notice Gandofini's face and breathing in some scenes. They say more that 10 pages of dialogue. As his wife, Edie Falco is his match every step of the way in their scenes together. It is very refreshing to see strong men and women interact with each other-- my main complaint about t.v. is that one has to be dominant while the other has to be the fool, usually the man in a sitcom... Out of nowhere comes the supporting cast with memorable moments. My favorites being Johnny Sack, played by the great Vincent Curatola and, Drea De Matteo playing Adriana. Both of them started out on the show as one episode parts, but, the dynamic appeal of those actors could not be ignored and they were retained for most of the show, both dying-- with Adriana, perhaps the most decent character on the show, most heartbreaking... When the show ended in 2007-- and the famous last scene where we don't know what exactly happened to Tony--- there was a lot of press attention because quality was leaving us and some speculated whether ''The Sopranos'' deserved to be put in the same category as ''The Godfather Trilogy'' and Goodfellas''. I believe it belongs in the same pantheon. For what are those movies known for besides being about crime? Great acting, flawless direction, inventive writing, and compelling storytelling. Tony and the gang were of that class... Too bad there isn't much more of that around now. Bada Bing!!!

Sidney Lumet: Filmmaker

I rarely go to movies now. There isn't much nowadays that captures my interest to go sit in a darkened room with strangers and pray that the audience behaves. But, once in a while, one of the giants of film will come down from the mountain and release their ''child'' for us to savor. Then I will make the effort to meet them halfway at the theatre. Sidney Lumet was one such giant and he just passed away on April 9th at 86... Lumet wasn't a person widely known outside of the film industry. He didn't have the ''name'' that most of the public would recognize like a Spielberg, Scorsese, Coppola, or Tarantino. But, he had a body of work that equals and in some cases, exceeds those celebrated talents. Lumet's first movie--- after learning and honing his craft in 50's tv-- was the classic ''12 Angry Men''. It remains one of my all time favorite movies. The simple story of one lone man holding out against 11 other men in believing that a man is innocent. The action takes place in one room on a hot summer's day and if you are interested in fine emsemble acting, check the film out... There, I used the key word: Film. Lumet made films. He loved films. And, most importantly, he respected an audiences intelligence enough to never play dumb with them. He knew you could follow the story as long he did his job and put the story on the screen... By all accounts Lumet belonged to a very small group of people in show business: the group of decent and caring human beings. It sure as hell showed up in his films. The threat of human extinction through nuclear war in ''Fail Safe'', the horrors of being a holocaust survivor in ''The Pawnbroker'', following the life threatening exploits of a decent cop in ''Serpico'', the bank robbers who are very human in his best film ''Dog Day Afternoon'',  the drunken lawyer looking for redemption at the end of his life in ''The Verdict,'' and the insanity that is behind the media in ''Network''. These films-- and many others-- show a master craftsman, who also let the decency that was in his soul  shine through on the silver screen. Treat yourself some time to a Lumet fim. IMDB his list of movies. You won't be sorry... And, here is to you Sidney-- thanks for the memories!!!

The Three Of Us

Once a month, a most pleasurable get together happens to me: Jeanine and Jenny and I have some fun. In addition to many laughs and some deep conversations, what this represents is that you can sometimes connect with the past.... The three of us started working in the late 80"s and early 90's at the Daily Herald newspaper. This was back when we were young, eager, and, not yet measured by life. There is an intensity and joy when you start out on life's path: everyday brings endless promise. I was trying to get something going in acting. Jeanine was newly married. Jenny was right out of high school. Is there a better time in life? You are no longer bound by parents and you just KNOW that you will change the world. This is allowed in the young. We were friendly with each other at work, but, nothing more. There was plenty of time to get to know each other... Jeanine started having children and I saw less and less of her. Jenny became social and so did I. We would occasionally bump into each other at bars, say hi, and then depart, looking for fun.  And, did we ever find fun!!! Again, there was plenty of time to really get to know one another... Then life's dark side springs up: Both my parents and Jeanine's Mom  got very sick. I heard about this through the work grapevine. Around 30,we three found out about life and what really happens. Sadly, these things are beyond anyone's control and you lose loved ones....Around 1997, Jenny and I made the conscious decision to become drinking buddies. There was a bar across from the Herald building in Arlington Heights called Home Run Inn, but, we christened it the ''clubhouse''. And, it was our playground. We knew the owner, had a favorite bartender [ God Bless you Judy, wherever you are!!], dragged various people from work to drink with us, and, generally do the things that you do in bars. Now, Jeanine, she had the best job in the world going: she was a mother!!! 3 kids at this point. Again, we heard that she was doing well and Jen and I always said we should call her and get together. It never happened, for whatever reason. It might be because we didn't want to disturb her life now: she was happy and that was good enough for us.... Jump ahead to 2009. Jen and I were still hanging out together, but, less so as we found new loves and, quite frankly, age was slowly us down. Then a remarkable invention happened called Facebook. On it we hooked up with Jeanine. After being out of touch for close to 10 years, we all met up and the years seemed to fall away. Jeanine suffered a horrible personal loss that I won't talk about-- respecting her privacy. On the bright side, she had another child [ My Man Brady!!!] which brought her total of kids to 4!! And, like Jenny, she is as sweet and caring and fun as always... I write about this because friendship has always been one of my prides. I love my friends and through the passage of time that feeling never changes. Check out the picture in my Fb profile of us: life has measured us. And, we are survivors...